A Scary Time

It is a scary time for boys/men. Thankfully there's a song about it.

I CAN’T WALK TO MY CAR LATE AT NIGHT WHILE ON THE PHONE
I CAN’T OPEN UP MY WINDOWS WHEN I’M HOME ALONE
I CAN’T GO TO A BAR WITHOUT A CHAPERONE
AND I CAN’T WEAR A MINI SKIRT IF ITS THE ONLY ONE I OWN

I CAN’T USE PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION AFTER 7 PM
I CAN’T BE BRUTALLY HONEST WHEN YOU SLIDE INTO MY DMS
I CAN’T GO TO THE CLUB JUST TO DANCE WITH MY FRIENDS
AND I CAN’T EVER LEAVE MY DRINK UNATTENDED

BUT IT SURE IS A SCARY TIME FOR BOYS
YEAH GENTLEMEN! BAND TOGETHER, MAKE SOME NOISE
ITS REALLY TOUGH WHEN YOUR REPUTATION’S ON THE LINE
AND ANY WOMAN YOU’VE ASSAULTED COULD TURN UP ANYTIME

YEAH, IT SURE IS A SCARY TIME FOR GUYS
CAN’T SPEAK TO ANY WOMEN OR LOOK THEM IN THE EYES
ITS SO CONFUSING, IS IT RAPE OR IS IT JUST BEING NICE?
SO INCONVENIENT THAT YOU EVEN HAVE TO THINK TWICE

I CAN’T LIVE IN AN APARTMENT IF IT'S ON THE FIRST FLOOR
I CAN’T BE WEARING SILK PAJAMAS WHEN I ANSWER THE DOOR
I CAN’T HAVE ANOTHER DRINK EVEN IF I WANT MORE
I CAN’T MAKE YOU FEEL INVALID, UNSEEN, OR IGNORED

I CAN’T JOG AROUND THE CITY WITH HEADPHONES ON MY EARS
I CAN’T SPEAK OUT AGAINST MY RAPIST AFTER 35 YEARS
I CAN’T BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY IF I'M HOLDING BACK TEARS
AND I CAN’T EVER SPEAK EARNESTLY ABOUT ALL MY FEARS

BUT IT SURE IS A SCARY TIME FOR DUDES
CAN’T TEXT A GIRL REPEATEDLY ASKING FOR NUDES
CAN’T MAKE HER HAVE SEX WHEN SHE’S NOT IN THE MOOD
AND WHAT GIVES HER THE RIGHT TO GIVE YOU ATTITUDE??

YEAH, IT SURE IS A SCARY TIME FOR MEN
GIRLS LIKE TO ACT LIKE YOU’RE TO BLAME AND THEY’RE THE VICTIMS
HER DRESS WAS SHORT AND SHE WAS DRUNK, SHE’S NOT SO INNOCENT
THANK GOD YOUR DAD’S THE JUDGE AND YOU WON’T BE CONVICTED

OH WAIT...THAT’S RIGHT…

IT’S NOT SUCH A SCARY TIME FOR BOYS
THEY’VE ALWAYS HAD THE UPPER HAND, THEY’VE ALWAYS HAD A CHOICE
IT’S TIME FOR WOMEN TO RISE UP,
USE OUR COLLECTIVE VOICE
THE DAY TO VOTE’S NOVEMBER 6, SO LET’S GO MAKE SOME NOISE
siftbotsays...

Self promoting this video and sending it back into the queue for one more try; last queued Monday, October 8th, 2018 3:20pm PDT - promote requested by original submitter RFlagg.

bobknight33says...

Well this is 1 woman who a man will never higher.


Men today are afraid -- 1 accusation will be all it takes to lose you job. - No facts or truth needed. - Your company will let yo go to be on the "safe side" -- Good luck finding another job with that hanging over you head.

Also less woman will be hired by men for above reasons.

BSRsays...

What's it like feeling fearful?

Maybe you're starting to understand?

bobknight33said:

Well this is 1 woman who a man will never higher.


Men today are afraid -- 1 accusation will be all it takes to lose you job. - No facts or truth needed. - Your company will let yo go to be on the "safe side" -- Good luck finding another job with that hanging over you head.

Also less woman will be hired by men for above reasons.

noimssays...

@bobknight33 can you explain why you downvoted this comment? Do you find it inappropriate or irrelevant? I certainly don't, and probably would have promoted the song myself.

Believe it or not, I personally actually like having you around on the sift, both for your non-political videos and for your political comments (although I think I've yet to be swayed by any of your arguments and I'm an ocean away in any case). I don't want to see you banned for abusing downvotes, but it's a serious dick move. I know it's tough but I suggest you keep pleading your case rather than trying to punish or silence others.

RFlaggsaid:

*promote the great song...

Her original tween featuring it.
https://twitter.com/mercedeslynz/status/1049215347025465344

bobknight33says...

I like being at this place also, even though I am out numbered 5000:1 That's Ok. It my choice. I like @Newboy the best. He to is unswayable.


Does a vote come with obligatory reason?


I do not think it is a great song. Catchy yes, great no.

I do not need to by into the Men are pigs, bastards, slime, evil.

Men are men. We like beer, We like women. Some men go to far but most don't.

Some women go to far also. Most don't. Where is this catchy song?

So No I do not by into this political crap just because it's the in thing to do. This scale is tipping too far.


Society is full of opposites. Opinions and viewpoints is part of this.

If the girl was ugly would this even be posted or listen to, or given the time of day? Fair question. Would @RFlagg even watched it or hence post it? Maybe Maybe not but having a pretty woman playing a catchy song sure helps get looks and votes. Apparently it got your up and my down and so far 91 views on the sift.

In you honor I gave it an upvote.

noimssaid:

@bobknight33 can you explain why you downvoted this comment? Do you find it inappropriate or irrelevant? I certainly don't, and probably would have promoted the song myself.

Believe it or not, I personally actually like having you around on the sift, both for your non-political videos and for your political comments (although I think I've yet to be swayed by any of your arguments and I'm an ocean away in any case). I don't want to see you banned for abusing downvotes, but it's a serious dick move. I know it's tough but I suggest you keep pleading your case rather than trying to punish or silence others.

newtboysays...

Awwwww....Bob.....I like you too, even though we rarely agree and I often detest your position or means to an end.
I must give you credit for having the spine to voice your opinions knowing they'll be unpopular. I'm glad you stick around, this place could easily become an echo chamber without you and a few others. Your stances, if nothing else, are good fuel for spirited debate.

I can be swayed....but I admit even Sisyphus would grow weary in the effort in most cases. ;-)

bobknight33said:

I like being at this place also, even though I am out numbered 5000:1 That's Ok. It my choice. I like @Newboy the best. He to is unswayable.


Does a vote come with obligatory reason?


I do not think it is a great song. Catchy yes, great no.

I do not need to by into the Men are pigs, bastards, slime, evil.

Men are men. We like beer, We like women. Some men go to far but most don't.

Some women go to far also. Most don't. Where is this catchy song?

So No I do not by into this political crap just because it's the in thing to do. This scale is tipping too far.


Society is full of opposites. Opinions and viewpoints is part of this.

If the girl was ugly would this even be posted or listen to, or given the time of day? Fair question. Would @RFlagg even watched it or hence post it? Maybe Maybe not but having a pretty woman playing a catchy song sure helps get looks and votes. Apparently it got your up and my down and so far 91 views on the sift.

In you honor I gave it an upvote.

noimssays...

My problem is that you downvoted the comment, rather than the video. I've always assumed that comment downvotes are particularly targeted against spam and the like (and, checking the faq just now, it backs me up).

Glad you still enjoy being here in any case.

bobknight33said:

[...]
Does a vote come with obligatory reason?
[...]
I do not think it is a great song. Catchy yes, great no.
[...]

bcglorfsays...

Can I be against both rape AND false accusations of rape? Can I be both scared of abandoning proof and evidence AND for the safety of women?

The scary part of our times is the race to pick a camp and turn on everyone who isn't your camp of thought already. It isn't actually scary, it's horrifying.

Mordhaussays...

This.

bcglorfsaid:

Can I be against both rape AND false accusations of rape? Can I be both scared of abandoning proof and evidence AND for the safety of women?

The scary part of our times is the race to pick a camp and turn on everyone who isn't your camp of thought already. It isn't actually scary, it's horrifying.

BSRsays...

When an infant or child needs something but can't or doesn't know how to communicate it's needs, they will make their problem your problem. They do this by crying or acting out until they get what they need, be it a diaper change or a glass of water or just a hug.

Women have been trying to communicate for eons with little results. Now they are making their problem, your problem.

You may be able to look to them for bravery if that's what you're lacking.

bcglorfsaid:

Can I be against both rape AND false accusations of rape? Can I be both scared of abandoning proof and evidence AND for the safety of women?

The scary part of our times is the race to pick a camp and turn on everyone who isn't your camp of thought already. It isn't actually scary, it's horrifying.

ChaosEnginesays...

You can totally be against both. Most reasonable people are.

What you shouldn't do is assume that they are both equally bad and equally prevalent (important note: I'm not saying @bcglorf is doing this.... but other people are definitely doing this).

Obviously, a false accusation of rape is a terrible thing. In the most extreme circumstances, it can lead to having years of your life taken away in prison. But sexual assault is a life sentence, you will carry that to your grave.

Second, as I've pointed out before, the idea that we're seeing an epidemic of false accusations is not supported by evidence. The numbers are hard to come by, but it's not even 1% of actual rapes (nevermind lesser sexual assault like groping, etc).

Finally, where is the abandoning of proof and evidence? Show me someone who has been convicted of sexual assault without any evidence. There's a big difference between accepting an allegation is worth looking into and convicting that person.

If a woman (or a man) comes forward with a claim of sexual assault, they are entitled to be taken seriously. That doesn't mean their alleged assailant is guilty though.

IMO, the real issue here is one of deflection. Trump and his cronies are basically inventing this narrative of victimhood where women are on the lookout for men to falsely accuse of rape, which is patently bullshit.

bcglorfsaid:

Can I be against both rape AND false accusations of rape? Can I be both scared of abandoning proof and evidence AND for the safety of women?

Mordhaussays...

The alleged victim's testimony was the extent of the prosecution's case against Perry and Counts. There was no physical evidence linking them to the crime.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2018/05/07/convictions-vacated-26-year-old-rape/588406002/

It was Banks’ word against hers and she was not likely to change her story. After all, Gibson sued the Long Beach Unified School District claiming the school’s lax security provided an unsafe environment that led to the fraudulent rape. She would eventually receive a settlement of 1.5 million dollars.

Brian Banks was faced with an impossible decision at the time – either fight the charges and risk spending 41 years-to-life in prison, or take a plea deal and spend a little over 5 years of actual prison confinement. Although it would mean destroying his chance to go to college and play football, a lengthy probationary period, and a lifetime of registration as a sex offender, Banks chose the lesser of two evils when he pleaded no contest to the charges.

https://californiainnocenceproject.org/read-their-stories/brian-banks/


I'd look up more, but I have to go pick up my wife from work.

ChaosEnginesaid:

You can totally be against both. Most reasonable people are.

What you shouldn't do is assume that they are both equally bad and equally prevalent (important note: I'm not saying @bcglorf is doing this.... but other people are definitely doing this).

Obviously, a false accusation of rape is a terrible thing. In the most extreme circumstances, it can lead to having years of your life taken away in prison. But sexual assault is a life sentence, you will carry that to your grave.

Second, as I've pointed out before, the idea that we're seeing an epidemic of false accusations is not supported by evidence. The numbers are hard to come by, but it's not even 1% of actual rapes (nevermind lesser sexual assault like groping, etc).

Finally, where is the abandoning of proof and evidence? Show me someone who has been convicted of sexual assault without any evidence. There's a big difference between accepting an allegation is worth looking into and convicting that person.

If a woman (or a man) comes forward with a claim of sexual assault, they are entitled to be taken seriously. That doesn't mean their alleged assailant is guilty though.

IMO, the real issue here is one of deflection. Trump and his cronies are basically inventing this narrative of victimhood where women are on the lookout for men to falsely accuse of rape, which is patently bullshit.

ChaosEnginesays...

Regarding Perry and Counts: that was in 1991. Again it's terrible, but you can't really argue that we're suddenly "abandoning of proof and evidence".

Re Banks: That's undoubtedly terrible, but to me, that's far more of an indictment of the appalling state of the US justice system and the nightmare of the utterly broken plea bargain system (I think John Oliver did a report on it, and I'd also highly recommend listening to the current season of the Serial podcast). He chose to take the plea deal... he wasn't convicted.

I think it's also not a coincidence that all three victims are black. Juries are far more likely to convict black men... that's just a fact.

And again, these cases are notable because they're rare.

The point here is simple. Trump's "it's a scary time to be a man" line is complete and utter bullshit. There is no sudden epidemic of false rape allegations. Are people wrongly accused (and in some cases, even convicted) of rape? Undoubtedly.

But it's not a new problem and it's nowhere near as widespread as the right is making it out to be.

Meanwhile, in the USA someone is violated every 98 seconds, and the President mocked a sexual assault survivor.

One of these is a bigger problem than the other.

Mordhaussaid:

The alleged victim's testimony was the extent of the prosecution's case against Perry and Counts. There was no physical evidence linking them to the crime.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2018/05/07/convictions-vacated-26-year-old-rape/588406002/

It was Banks’ word against hers and she was not likely to change her story. After all, Gibson sued the Long Beach Unified School District claiming the school’s lax security provided an unsafe environment that led to the fraudulent rape. She would eventually receive a settlement of 1.5 million dollars.

Brian Banks was faced with an impossible decision at the time – either fight the charges and risk spending 41 years-to-life in prison, or take a plea deal and spend a little over 5 years of actual prison confinement. Although it would mean destroying his chance to go to college and play football, a lengthy probationary period, and a lifetime of registration as a sex offender, Banks chose the lesser of two evils when he pleaded no contest to the charges.

https://californiainnocenceproject.org/read-their-stories/brian-banks/


I'd look up more, but I have to go pick up my wife from work.

Mystic95Zsays...

Bob you are the dumbest "MOTHERFUCKER" on this site.

I am not afraid in the slightest, no reason to if you have treated women with respect all of your life. Dr. Ford took a polygraph and passed, where are the results from BK's? Will never know because he either didn't take one or the RWNJ's in power today had a SHAM FBI investigation on it.

bobknight33said:

Well this is 1 woman who a man will never higher.


Men today are afraid -- 1 accusation will be all it takes to lose you job. - No facts or truth needed. - Your company will let yo go to be on the "safe side" -- Good luck finding another job with that hanging over you head.

Also less woman will be hired by men for above reasons.

bobknight33says...

Your statement.....

"Obviously, a false accusation of rape is a terrible thing. In the most extreme circumstances, it can lead to having years of your life taken away in prison. But sexual assault is a life sentence, you will carry that to your grave. "



Is quite naive. You give the woman a victim hood mentality .

What about the guy? He too carries this to his grave. He too sufferer a life of pain of a un erasable false accusation.

The difference The man carries a tag on his back for all to see and discriminate against.

The woman carries internal pain.

Which is hurt most?


Agreed most cases are he said she said and she mostly gets the wrong end of the deal. But this does not give society the obligation to take her at her word just because she is a woman.

Even is false hoods are 1% - that is too much, if it is you. Just think today if a work colleague told your boss that you grabbed he upper spots? Not even rape. You would loose your job. Then what How do you explain this at the next job? No one would hire you , just to be on the safe side. You are black listed.



Trump has nothing to do with this. False accusations of woman are. And it will ruin you.

ChaosEnginesaid:

You can totally be against both. Most reasonable people are.

What you shouldn't do is assume that they are both equally bad and equally prevalent (important note: I'm not saying @bcglorf is doing this.... but other people are definitely doing this).

Obviously, a false accusation of rape is a terrible thing. In the most extreme circumstances, it can lead to having years of your life taken away in prison. But sexual assault is a life sentence, you will carry that to your grave.

Second, as I've pointed out before, the idea that we're seeing an epidemic of false accusations is not supported by evidence. The numbers are hard to come by, but it's not even 1% of actual rapes (nevermind lesser sexual assault like groping, etc).

Finally, where is the abandoning of proof and evidence? Show me someone who has been convicted of sexual assault without any evidence. There's a big difference between accepting an allegation is worth looking into and convicting that person.

If a woman (or a man) comes forward with a claim of sexual assault, they are entitled to be taken seriously. That doesn't mean their alleged assailant is guilty though.

IMO, the real issue here is one of deflection. Trump and his cronies are basically inventing this narrative of victimhood where women are on the lookout for men to falsely accuse of rape, which is patently bullshit.

ChaosEnginesays...

"You give the woman a victim hood mentality ."

First, sexual assault happens to both men and women.
Second, yes, because I am specifically talking about VICTIMS of sexual assault.

"What about the guy? He too carries this to his grave. He too sufferer a life of pain of a un erasable false accusation. "

Yes, a false accusation of rape is awful. I've said so multiple times now. But it's still not as bad as being raped. I don't want to break my arm, but I'll take it over being shot in the chest. See how too things can be bad, but one is worse than the other?

Plus, at least, with a false accusation of rape, there's a chance you will get your name cleared.

"The difference The man carries a tag on his back for all to see and discriminate against.
The woman carries internal pain. Which is hurt most?"

Easy. The rape victim.

"this does not give society the obligation to take her at her word just because she is a woman."

Which is exactly why I never said that. What I said is that anyone who makes a claim of sexual assault is "entitled to be taken seriously", i.e. have said claim investigated. Due process still applies.

"Even is false hoods are 1% - that is too much, if it is you. Just think today if a work colleague told your boss that you grabbed he upper spots? Not even rape. You would loose your job. Then what How do you explain this at the next job? No one would hire you , just to be on the safe side. You are black listed."

Can you please try using a spell checker? That is really hard to read. What the hell is "you grabbed he upper spots" supposed to mean?

Anyway, assuming you're talking about sexual harassment in the workplace, I would expect not to be fired until an investigation had proved I was in the wrong.

Again, false accusations are bad, and yeah, it would totally suck if it happened to you.

But it's just not that common. The numbers don't support your case at all. Rape far out numbers false accusations, and that's not even getting into other forms of sexual assault, like groping or catcalling, most of which isn't even reported.

Newsflash: most women don't WANT to be perceived as a victim of sexual assault.

"Trump has nothing to do with this."
Yeah, he does. He (and you) contributes to the culture that is more worried about a tiny percentage of false accusations than the NINETY FUCKING THOUSAND RAPES THAT OCCUR EVERY YEAR IN THE US.

Paybacksays...

I believe Dr Ford.

I think Kavanuagh is shit, if shit were worse than it is.

However, polygraphs have been proven to be junk science. The main reason being they are easily fooled, and can produce false positive results due to human error. Dr. Ford is a professor of psychology. If anyone could "beat" a polygraph...

I guess I'm just tired of people bringing up her polygraph like it means anything.

Mystic95Zsaid:

Dr. Ford took a polygraph and passed, where are the results from BK's?

Mordhaussays...

It isn't as rare as you think. There are numerous accounts of false accusations that don't make it as far as court or they do and the accused choose to take a plea versus chancing half their life.

Brent E. Turvey, a criminologist, wrote a 2017 book that dispels this notion. His research, and that of two co-authors, cited statistical studies and police crime reports. One academic study showed that as many as 40 percent of sexual assault charges are false. Mr. Turvey wrote that the FBI in the 1990s pegged the falsity rate at 8 percent for rape or attempted rape complaints.

“There is no shortage of politicians, victims’ advocates and news articles claiming that the nationwide false report for rape and sexual assault is almost nonexistent, presenting a figure of around 2 percent,” writes Mr. Turvey, who directs the Forensic Criminology Institute. “This figure is not only inaccurate, but also it has no basis in reality. Reporting it publicly as a valid frequency rate with any empirical basis is either scientifically negligent or fraudulent.”

A recent study supports this assessment. The Pentagon issues an annual report on sexual assaults in the military. Nearly one-quarter of all cases last year were thrown out for lack of evidence, according to a report released in May.

As far as the rape every 98 seconds, I am unsure where you found that number. There were 95,730 rapes under the revised FBI definitions (which include more categories that previously were not considered rape, like child molestion, under the legacy definitions) in the last year I could find which was 2016. These are the combined rapes of men, women, and children for that year. That means the actual rape of a 'person' is occurring somewhere around every 5-6 minutes. Now if you are going by a different statistic, like the CDC ones that include such a wide definition of what constitutes 'rape' that it isn't funny, you might get the result you quoted. I wouldn't go by those stats, even TIME magazine had to call out the CDC for overstating the numbers.

As far as Trump goes, he is a complete idiot dickhead. He shouldn't have insulted anyone, least of all Dr. Ford. I will point out one thing though, and this is subjective in that your viewpoint will differ from mine, Dr. Ford is an alleged rape survivor. She has made the claim and took a polygraph test, but other than that she can only claim that in her recollection she was at a party where Brett Kavanaugh was also at supposedly. She also claimed to be heavily intoxicated. If you want to believe her Ex, she has lied in her testimony. (https://heavy.com/news/2018/10/christine-ford-boyfriend-ex-letter-blasey/) Heavy leans left, so this isn't a bobknight cherry picking of information.

Now, why would she come forth and deal with all the negatives of making the claim? I guess that is the kicker, normally you would expect a person to really be telling the truth if they are going to be put through hell. I would put forward though that this was one of the most hotly contested confirmations for SCOTUS ever. Even more so than for Bork, and I remember that one clearly. In my opinion, far more than for Thomas. If you were adamantly opposed to a person sitting on the Supreme Court, had went to school with that person, and were willing to fall on your sword for your beliefs, you might do it.

In any case, that is just supposition on my part.

ChaosEnginesaid:

Regarding Perry and Counts: that was in 1991. Again it's terrible, but you can't really argue that we're suddenly "abandoning of proof and evidence".

Re Banks: That's undoubtedly terrible, but to me, that's far more of an indictment of the appalling state of the US justice system and the nightmare of the utterly broken plea bargain system (I think John Oliver did a report on it, and I'd also highly recommend listening to the current season of the Serial podcast). He chose to take the plea deal... he wasn't convicted.

I think it's also not a coincidence that all three victims are black. Juries are far more likely to convict black men... that's just a fact.

And again, these cases are notable because they're rare.

The point here is simple. Trump's "it's a scary time to be a man" line is complete and utter bullshit. There is no sudden epidemic of false rape allegations. Are people wrongly accused (and in some cases, even convicted) of rape? Undoubtedly.

But it's not a new problem and it's nowhere near as widespread as the right is making it out to be.

Meanwhile, in the USA someone is violated every 98 seconds, and the President mocked a sexual assault survivor.

One of these is a bigger problem than the other.

vilsays...

Totally this. Ford is convincing, but not good enough for conviction. Polygraphs mean exactly nothing.

The most interesting part of this whole story is that it provoked Kavanaugh to come out as the shitbag that he is, to show his personality. So now Americans (or specifically the people of the USA) know that this low life-form will serve forever in the highest office that decides what is moral and lawful. Good for you, nice life-lesson.

Not surprising Trump likes him.

Paybacksaid:

I believe Dr Ford.
I think Kavanuagh is shit...
...polygraphs have been proven to be junk science.

Mordhaussays...

Yeah, his reaction was over the top. We shouldn't have confirmed him because of that.

vilsaid:

Totally this. Ford is convincing, but not good enough for conviction. Polygraphs mean exactly nothing.

The most interesting part of this whole story is that it provoked Kavanaugh to come out as the shitbag that he is, to show his personality. So now Americans (or specifically the people of the USA) know that this low life-form will serve forever in the highest office that decides what is moral and lawful. Good for you, nice life-lesson.

Not surprising Trump likes him.

bcglorfsays...

Not sure that's the analogy you want to go for, what with the counter being to describe how we behave once we grow up...

You are describing women as powerless and perpetual victims, which I think is offensive to women. You then basically say that two wrongs make a right because victims should be allowed to create new victims if it helps them...

Reasonable people disagree with you. If that puts me in the 'wrong' camp, and means I deserve ridicule and attack, you're the problem, not me.

BSRsaid:

When an infant or child needs something but can't or doesn't know how to communicate it's needs, they will make their problem your problem. They do this by crying or acting out until they get what they need, be it a diaper change or a glass of water or just a hug.

Women have been trying to communicate for eons with little results. Now they are making their problem, your problem.

You may be able to look to them for bravery if that's what you're lacking.

bcglorfsays...

"Second, as I've pointed out before, the idea that we're seeing an epidemic of false accusations is not supported by evidence."

I am seeing a strong movement to demand that accusations be enough to get people suspended, expelled and fired though. The Canadian Federation of Students has been pushing a campaign to improve campus sexual assault policies. Their plan specifically includes things they don't want any policy to have, including any " SANCTIONS FOR VEXATIOUS, MALICIOUS OR FALSE COMPLAINTS". They sigh an example section from Dalhousie University's sexual assault policy that they believe is wrong and should be removed:
"A complaint made in bad faith shall constitute grounds for disciplinary action against the complainant, which shall be commenced in accordance with applicable disciplinary processes. A bad faith complaint is a complaint that is made with a conscious design to mislead or deceive, or with a malicious or fraudulent intent. "

More insidiously, strong movements across Canada are training the workplace on what sexual violence is. The first 3 levels of sexual violence ALL involve no physical contact and are entirely verbal. When people are manipulating language to make actions seem worse than they are, you are acting in bad faith and I think it should be called out.

" If a woman (or a man) comes forward with a claim of sexual assault, they are entitled to be taken seriously."

Agreed, but lots of people are very much arguing that lives should be destroyed then and there, just to be safe and/or to balance things out finally so men can be victimized too so they know how it feels. We'll even right songs to laugh at them when they complain.

IMO, the real issue here is one of deflection. Trump and his cronies
No disagreement there. I both vehemently disagree with virtually everything Trump says or does. At the same time, still don't like how far the condemn the accused pushes are looking to go.

ChaosEnginesaid:

You can totally be against both. Most reasonable people are.

What you shouldn't do is assume that they are both equally bad and equally prevalent (important note: I'm not saying @bcglorf is doing this.... but other people are definitely doing this).

Obviously, a false accusation of rape is a terrible thing. In the most extreme circumstances, it can lead to having years of your life taken away in prison. But sexual assault is a life sentence, you will carry that to your grave.

Second, as I've pointed out before, the idea that we're seeing an epidemic of false accusations is not supported by evidence. The numbers are hard to come by, but it's not even 1% of actual rapes (nevermind lesser sexual assault like groping, etc).

Finally, where is the abandoning of proof and evidence? Show me someone who has been convicted of sexual assault without any evidence. There's a big difference between accepting an allegation is worth looking into and convicting that person.

If a woman (or a man) comes forward with a claim of sexual assault, they are entitled to be taken seriously. That doesn't mean their alleged assailant is guilty though.

IMO, the real issue here is one of deflection. Trump and his cronies are basically inventing this narrative of victimhood where women are on the lookout for men to falsely accuse of rape, which is patently bullshit.

scheherazadesays...

What sort of evidence?

- Accusation/testimonial evidence?

- Or Physical evidence that is an invariant indicator of rape, that you can hold, see, measure, etc?



Anyone can accuse. That's effortless. Takes barely more energy than breathing.

(It's also effortless for a group of sour girls to gang up on a dude that upset them. Because "f that guy'. (That attitude isn't even rare.))



Physical evidence? People are convicted day in and day out of all sorts of things without physical evidence.

(Court is after all a popularity contest.)




My scary moment was when a cop detained me and told me he was going to charge me with : reckless driving, driving without a seat belt, and with threatening his life.

Why? Because I pulled up to a road block and asked him if I could drive past his road block to go home (which was a short way past the road block)... and he was having some emotional stability/triggering issues at the time, and he instantly turned red and went full on tirade mode.

Fortunately for me, after detaining me a few hours, some switch flipped in his head again and he just went to his car, got in, and drove off. Surreal.

So I asked myself :
If I had been charged, what would be the difference in court, vis-a-vis evidence, between it being a lie, and it being the truth?
Answer : No difference.

All he threatened me with was provable only by his word, and no evidence was required. I likely would have gone to jail, and had my life turned upside down... all on some person's grimace.

My view on evidence changed that day.
I will _NEVER_ convict anyone of anything, without physical tangible evidence that I can hold in my hand and see with my eyes, or at least run forensic tests on.
Testimony doesn't mean _shit_. It's absolutely, patently _worthless_.

(I also now run a dash cam everywhere I drive to protect myself from false accusations)




Basically, unless you have physical proof, I don't care.
Whatever you have to say, prove it.
No proof, no cares.

That goes for all accusations of anything ever. Across the board. Absolute.

It's the standard I want people to have for me, and it's the standard I have for others.

-scheherazade





(Aside, unrelated : I know a dude that was raped by a girl (he was nearly paralyzed drunk at his own house party). Wasn't even a secret. People at the party knew it happened. Nobody cared. When he complained, all anyone said was "Oh whatever. Shut up get over it". It wasn't even a question of 'did it happen?', it was a matter of "so what?".)

ChaosEnginesaid:

[...]
Finally, where is the abandoning of proof and evidence? Show me someone who has been convicted of sexual assault without any evidence. There's a big difference between accepting an allegation is worth looking into and convicting that person.

If a woman (or a man) comes forward with a claim of sexual assault, they are entitled to be taken seriously. That doesn't mean their alleged assailant is guilty though.
[...]

MilkmanDansays...

@ChaosEngine

I fully agree with you that rape/sexual assault is a bigger problem (in magnitude and frequency) than false accusations. And that being an actual victim of sexual assault would be worse than being falsely accused of sexual assault, although it seems a bit pointless to debate the relative extent of how much these things could fuck up lives when they are both horrendous.

That being said, there's a reason that presumption of innocence and requiring proof of guilt beyond a reasonable doubt are the law of the land. And assuming that we follow through on those things (which I think we largely do), that's all well and good. BUT, that's all pretty strictly just in the legal realm.

False accusations of sexual assault don't need to get as far as the actual legal system to seriously fuck up a person's life. Employers, partners, friends ... these connections might choose to sever ties without requiring the same rigorous proof of guilt beyond a reasonable doubt that the legal system does.

As much as I personally tend to believe Ford as opposed to Kavanaugh, I think that given the span of time since the incident it is nigh on impossible to prove that her version of events is true beyond a reasonable doubt. On the other hand, the hearing put his current demeanor and partisan/biased attitude on blatant display in a way that seemed to me should be disqualifying with regards to the sort of standards we require for Supreme Court Justices. Apparently the GOP disagrees, and we can hold them to account for that at the ballot box.

That's rather cold comfort given that Justices serve for life. There'd be some constitutional crisis drama if Agent Orange gets removed from office as a result of some proof-beyond-a-reasonable-doubt of misdeeds. Robert Kennedy's quote about the ancient Chinese curse "may you live in interesting times" seems apropos. Things have been entirely too "interesting" for my taste for the past 2 years...

ChaosEnginesays...

Lots of good comments here... this might take a while so bear with me.

@Mordhaus, I haven't read that book but I'd be interested to see his sources. Everything I've googled suggests the rate is really low.

As for Ford, obviously, I can't say for certain whether she is telling the truth. She may even believe she is telling the truth and still be wrong. I think she was entitled to the benefit of the doubt in terms of an investigation. Of course, it's possible she was doing this for political reasons, but that feels like a stretch to me.

@bcglorf
In some ways, I can understand the desire to remove the vexatious complaints cause. Coming forward with a report of sexual assault is traumatic enough already.
A) you may not be believed
B) even if you are, you're in for an experience many assault survivors have described as "being raped a second time"
If you add the possibility that your complaint could potentially get you sanctioned if no one believes you, that's a pretty awful situation to be in.

Now, I don't necessarily agree with this stance, but I can understand it. I think you would need to clear a very high bar to prove a complaint is malicious. Presumption of innocence applies to the complainant also.

"The first 3 levels of sexual violence ALL involve no physical contact and are entirely verbal. "
100% fine with this. You can be a creepy sleazebag without touching someone and it's still not ok.

"lots of people are very much arguing that lives should be destroyed then and there"
Sorry, I just don't see it. That said, if there are people arguing for that... I'm against them.

"We'll even right songs to laugh at them when they complain."
This song was mocking the bullshit "it's a scary time to be a man" line, and deservedly so. I'm a man, and I'm not scared of being accused of sexual assault. None of my male friends are scared either. But it fucking crushes my soul to think of how many of the women in my life have ACTUALLY experienced some form of sexual assault (and that's just the ones I know of).

@scheherazade
Completely agree that eyewitness testimony is borderline useless in terms of evidence. Go back through my comment history... you'll see I even said I doubt you could prove Kavanaugh's guilt. All I've ever said is that it warrants an investigation. (sidenote: I totally agree with @vil and @Mordhaus on this... polygraphs are junk science, but Kavanaugh's boorish behaviour should have been grounds not to confirm him).

Regarding your friend that was raped by a girl: that's awful, and yes, we really have to stop this childish attitude of somehow thinking female on male rape is either funny or that the guy was lucky. But it is unrelated to this discussion.

@MilkmanDan, I pretty much agree with everything you've said.

Being falsely accused of rape would be terrible, even if you weren't convicted. No disagreement there at all.

Mordhaussays...

Yeah, the bad thing about the entire situation is it seems the facts vary wildly depending on who you go with. I guess just like any statistic analysis with such a charged subject, people probably alter the methodology of getting the information to support their viewpoint. I found super low stats and higher ones, so I tried to go with the ones that seemed to have the least reason to alter the stats. Maybe they are wrong, I can't say.

Same for Dr. Ford, I can only go off my personal take on it. She seemed credible until I read the letter from her Ex, but maybe he lied or was a plant by the Republicans. I certainly can't go by her polygraph since I agree with everyone so far that they are pretty much junk science as you said. I'm torn, but like I mentioned, I am still leaning towards her account being false. I might be totally wrong, it wouldn't be the first time.

The worst thing is that no one here really won except Kavanaugh. The Republicans are going to take a hit in years of coming elections, the Democrats are stuck with a conservative majority court, Dr. Ford is going to be praised or vilified depending on individual opinion, and we as a nation look like we are ready to basically go to war with one another over our political split. We look dumber than ever to the rest of the world and I don't see a quick resolution in sight.

ChaosEnginesaid:

Lots of good comments here... this might take a while so bear with me.

@Mordhaus, I haven't read that book but I'd be interested to see his sources. Everything I've googled suggests the rate is really low.

As for Ford, obviously, I can't say for certain whether she is telling the truth. She may even believe she is telling the truth and still be wrong. I think she was entitled to the benefit of the doubt in terms of an investigation. Of course, it's possible she was doing this for political reasons, but that feels like a stretch to me.

@bcglorf
In some ways, I can understand the desire to remove the vexatious complaints cause. Coming forward with a report of sexual assault is traumatic enough already.
A) you may not be believed
B) even if you are, you're in for an experience many assault survivors have described as "being raped a second time"
If you add the possibility that your complaint could potentially get you sanctioned if no one believes you, that's a pretty awful situation to be in.

Now, I don't necessarily agree with this stance, but I can understand it. I think you would need to clear a very high bar to prove a complaint is malicious. Presumption of innocence applies to the complainant also.

"The first 3 levels of sexual violence ALL involve no physical contact and are entirely verbal. "
100% fine with this. You can be a creepy sleazebag without touching someone and it's still not ok.

"lots of people are very much arguing that lives should be destroyed then and there"
Sorry, I just don't see it. That said, if there are people arguing for that... I'm against them.

"We'll even right songs to laugh at them when they complain."
This song was mocking the bullshit "it's a scary time to be a man" line, and deservedly so. I'm a man, and I'm not scared of being accused of sexual assault. None of my male friends are scared either. But it fucking crushes my soul to think of how many of the women in my life have ACTUALLY experienced some form of sexual assault (and that's just the ones I know of).

@scheherazade
Completely agree that eyewitness testimony is borderline useless in terms of evidence. Go back through my comment history... you'll see I even said I doubt you could prove Kavanaugh's guilt. All I've ever said is that it warrants an investigation. (sidenote: I totally agree with @vil and @Mordhaus on this... polygraphs are junk science, but Kavanaugh's boorish behaviour should have been grounds not to confirm him).

Regarding your friend that was raped by a girl: that's awful, and yes, we really have to stop this childish attitude of somehow thinking female on male rape is either funny or that the guy was lucky. But it is unrelated to this discussion.

@MilkmanDan, I pretty much agree with everything you've said.

Being falsely accused of rape would be terrible, even if you weren't convicted. No disagreement there at all.

BSRsays...

Thanks for your reply bcglorf,

To clear up my analogy, I was actually speaking about the power, tolerance and bravery of women and the thick headedness and cowardice of men who are abusers.

Sometimes you need to find a language that can be understood.

I also think reasonable people believe that any action taken against them should be met with equal and opposite reaction.

Somewhere I posted a quote from the movie Tora, Tora, Tora, which I altered to fit the present conversations.

The quote was said to have been made by Japanese Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto regarding the 1941 attack on Pearl Harbor.

It's debated if he actually said it but it was something that I remembered and thought it fit well with recent events with the altered quote.

My altered quote is:

I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giantess and fill her with a terrible resolve.


Women (giantess) are coming together, along with men, more than ever before and rightly so.

I never said or implied anything about ridicule or attacks.

Thanks again for your reply and I think we both are on the same side.

bcglorfsaid:

Not sure that's the analogy you want to go for, what with the counter being to describe how we behave once we grow up...

You are describing women as powerless and perpetual victims, which I think is offensive to women. You then basically say that two wrongs make a right because victims should be allowed to create new victims if it helps them...

Reasonable people disagree with you. If that puts me in the 'wrong' camp, and means I deserve ridicule and attack, you're the problem, not me.

bcglorfsays...

@ChaosEngine:
"The first 3 levels of sexual violence ALL involve no physical contact and are entirely verbal. "
100% fine with this. You can be a creepy sleazebag without touching someone and it's still not ok.


Perhaps you misunderstand. I also oppose verbal harassment and discrimination. I disagree with calling sexist and racist comments acts of violence. I agree with condemning them and acting to stop them.

Real world example, a Canadian student TA at Wilfred Laurier University played a short clip of a publicly broadcast debate over trans pronoun usage between 2 U of T professors in a class. She was brought into a meeting with 3 WLU staff who told her she was horribly wrong for doing so because playing that clip was "an act of violence" against any trans students in the room.

This abuse of language is manipulative and wrong.

I'm a man, and I'm not scared of being accused of sexual assault. None of my male friends are scared either.

With burden of proof I'm thinking beyond merely sexual assault. This already practice in forms in Canada. Ontario has an entire system of Social Justice Tribunals that run parallel to the criminal court system. It's been a gradual transformation of the civil court system, so civil and family courts are lumped in as tribunals now there. The specific one relevant in this case is the human rights tribunal. If the WLU faculty, or a student from the classroom, wanted to file a human rights complaint for the 'violence' they faced, the burden of proof would be a preponderance of the evidence rather than innocent until proven guilty. Which I can even understand in some cases, but lets not say that doesn't make people nervous about being falsely accused. That is not what scares people the most though in Ontario. The social justice tribunals have paid for legal representation for the accusers, and so the government foots the financial costs for the accuser. The accused however is on their own. The erosion of burden of proof and fear of financial damages from malicious or vengeful complaints is a very, very real thing in Canada. Accusations of sexual harassment being just one of many kinds of accusations that you can be damaged by while entirely innocent.

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