newtboy says... That's some good groking....thou art god. BSR said: I remember my "judgement day." Greif. I discovered for myself that I, unknowingly, had written my own bible. I created all the rules that I thought I should hold dear. Little did I know that one day I would be judged by own bible. Then I lost someone I loved. I became suicidal. I could not bear the loss and the pain. My plan was to drive head on into a semi truck, thinking that hopefully the driver would survive somehow. I drove back and forth on the highway I picked to end my life. I imagined what the crash would be like and who it would affect. Then I pictured something that stalled my plan. Upon crashing into the truck I envisioned the people I love being crushed and dismembered in slow motion. My parents, siblings, friends, as though they were in the car with me. In my death I would be the only survivor. I had destroyed the world. With a single bullet, I could have destroyed the world. To me, that meant one thing. If I had the power to destroy the world, then I must have the power to save it. The only thing standing in my way was the bible I wrote for myself. Forgiving others was the easy part. Forgiving myself was not so easy. The very thing that almost killed me was now the thing I had to believe in. Love. Pure. Simple. Without demands or conditions. Every human needs love. "There lies the rub." I snatched the pebbles from the Master's hand. It was time for me to leave. God was no different than great works of art, music, poetry. If there is a God, it must be me because I now have the only power God ever had. Love.