All I hear is Sheldon Cooper.

How do you know he WASN'T drinking the shadow?

Exactly right. Mom should have told the kid where the bear shit in the buckwheat.

Oh wait. You meant the other way around.

nevermind

From the looks of his underwear I think the fence has a case against the kid.

I get the feeling he'd be easy to make friends with. Amirite?

Except he said he assumed command. You know what they say about assuming.

Whatever makes you feel good.

I stand my ground. No it won't.

No it won't.

And a person can't stop being black either. Except Michael Jackson I mean.

Could you maybe put NOT A SCREAMER in the description?

Now I have to watch the whole thing over knowing it's safe.

On an elementary level I think I understand this and never heard of it before. Interesting.

Saw that title and I just knew it was going to turn a mountain into an anthill.

So ant, how'd the lady like your gift?

Took the liberty of adding 'graphic content' tag.

Go to Walmart.
Sporting Goods section.
Grab an Air Horn.
Clip it to your belt.

When you're out of options, you'll know what to do. It's not so much how big you are than how loud you are.

If you're riding a bike it works great on loose dogs and bears too. No harm. No foul.

So obvious now that you say it.

Kind of suspicious that he had to take so many photos because of "movement between shots."

Just park a car with laxative laden donuts in a NO PARKING zone near the police station. It's all about the bait.