All hail King Blankfist....WTF?!

posted by rasch187 1 decade 5 years 8 months 4 weeks ago • 3,671 views
The 6th King and 2nd Queen of the Sift is...Blankfist. I'll just say that again: blankfist. That's right, the guy who posts nothing but videos of farting cats and threatens to rape every male sifter. What's the world coming to?



"And while the King was looking down,
the Jester stole his thorny crown."

Major congrats though, Blanky. Keep on being repulsive! And as his loyal subjects, we should all upvote his queue and PQUEUE.



By the great kronosposeidon:






71 Comments

dotdude says...

Oh, there's TH on "thorny" - ok, my vision is blurry at this hour. I guess we need to keep an eye on who is behind us around here, eh?

As for The Jester stealing his crown, well, um . . . it had to be an impostor. I'm still recovering from Mardi Gras. Maybe someone stole my marotte and my jester hat.

Now with six kingdoms and 1 queendom - oh, wait, 2 queendoms - clearly each one has a jester, perhaps?

We probably ought to have a Siftland map showing where all the kingdoms and queendoms are located - also the environments of each one.

Congrats on the Crown . . .

*jingles away exiting through a secret door*

kronosposeidon says...

OMFG. Just like death and a very special episode of "Square Pegs," I never thought this day would actually come. Does this mean there are no more cat fart videos on the internet? Did Ron Paul finally give up on gold and silver? Is everyone finally convinced of global warming's existence? Madness, I tell you! MADNESS!

Oh well, it's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine. If it's closing time, I'd like to hang out with blankfist. I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints.

Congratulations, you sinful prick.

*quality

kronosposeidon says...

I'm sure blankfist won't mind if I 4chan the fuck out of this post:

<embed src="http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j24/neptunetitan/Cat-Monolith-Earth-Moon.png">

<embed src="http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j24/neptunetitan/cat_clockwork-orange.png">

<embed src="http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j24/neptunetitan/cat_dr_strangelove_maj_kong.png">

<embed src="http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j24/neptunetitan/Cat_KillerKiss.jpg">

<embed src="http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j24/neptunetitan/cat_shining.png">

gourmetemu says...

Wait he offered to rape the rest of you!!!! All I remember was some brief conversation where he told me I was pretty then he bought me a drink. Then waking up in the curb in Little Ethiopia wearing what could only be described as granny panties and "whore" makeup.....well now I'm just depressed.

Congratulations...I guess.

EDD says...

Look at it from the bright side folks, at least now there's actual tangible irrefutable proof there is no god.

Congratulations on your crown, ye Prince of Debauchery. May your reign last longer than that of Caligula and may your feasts be graced with more male rectal violations than a party at Elton John's house.

Issykitty says...

Yay!!!! WhoooooooHOOOOOOOOO! Major Congrats to my furriend, Blankety-Blank! (I stole the nickname coined by Schmawy.) We are, like, Crown buddies! Crownies? Hahaha!
Anyhow, it was great meeting hbleusea and you at the Sift-up. We should all have a mini "Crownie" Sift-Up with you two! But no thanks, just leave the ass gravy at home.

Zonbie says...

'Oh my God, It's full of cats'

Well done Blanky! You and all your cats! You crazy spinster you
I have to say I think your contributions to the sift have been great Made me laugh! keep sifting!

rasch187 says...

If anyone is wondering why 'A$$GR@V33 the Movie' was directed by 'blanfist', it's because blankfist demanded an Alan Smithee credit on it. He hated the way the studio cut out 20 minutes of the love scene with him and Richard Simmons. He claimed that cutting that scene down to only 50 minutes made the film "too mainstream and lacking the emotional aspect of sharing ass gravy".

Ornthoron says...

Congratulations!

I now present back to you the bucket of A$$ Gr@v33 I received at my gold100-celebration. I have prepared it carefully, to the better in my humble opinion. I started by letting it ferment for 6 days, adding caraway seeds and anise on day 4. I then skimmed away the top layer of greenish yeast, and poured the rest into used sherry casks. It was then stored in my basement for one and a half month, before being tapped back into the bucket and lidded.

This process has really brought out the texture, and also accentuated what I believe to be the heart of the famous A$$ Gr@v33 aroma. Save it for a special occasion.

legacy0100 says...

Hail, Lord of farts.

At this rate, siftlandia will soon be divided into 6 major principalities, each faction ruling over their own section of video genre in videosift.

Soon all the minor fiefdoms will unite under each of their banner, and the struggle for power shall begin.

If that time comes, let it be known that I shall unite forces with whoever that will be facing against Dark lord Farhad of 'the obscure'

kulpims says...

what can you say about a man who posts stuff like this? or this. or this. the list goes on and on (which reminds me - let's compile a "worst of blankfist" group playlist, anyone?)
I've often wondered how he gets away with it. must have some major dirt on dag or lucky. maybe both, if you know what I mean (nudge, nudge, say no more...)
and now we're giving this joker a crown?!? somebody throw a shoe at this guy before it's to late, please!

Eklek says...

“I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different.”
Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

"We're just a fart in the wind. This ought to take care of all that silly dynasty talk."
Ron Wolf

"If I fail, the film industry writes me off as another statistic. If I succeed, they pay me a million bucks to fly out to Hollywood and fart."
George A. Romero

"Fart"
Blankfist

blankfist says...

Wow, this is too much. Thanks for all the kind words and associating my achievements on the Sift with only a bucket of A$$ GR@V33 and cat farts. I swear I do more on here than that!

Thanks rasch and kp for the excellent pictures. I'm sure Kubrick would be proud of you putting farting cat images over his works of art. I know kp already qualitied this, but... *quality!

Thanks e'rybody!

lucky760 says...

Well, well, well. You've finally gone and done it. You've gone and made the buttfist all-powerful. This marks the beginning of the end for us all. Soon the front page will be nothing but farting cats and gay porn. I hope you're all happy.

Totally kidding. Congratulations you old son of a bitch! It couldn't happen to a nicer fist.

Thanks for your years of quality contributions, you pillar of sift!

Kevlar says...

Conblankulations! I never thought I'd see the clean-shaven, yet coked-out evil version of Dag make it this far. Well, then again, I'm always underestimating the number of power of stupid people cat farts in large numbers...

He's a piller of sift, but really - doesn't he want a pillar of shaft?

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