A. wear a life jacket

B. cut back on whatever drugs you're on

Have mercy. I don't think he's just yucking it up for the camera. I hope Sara isn't his girlfriend. If she is, and she doesn't dump him for such an inglorious display of pansyhood, he should marry her immediately because she must really appreciate whatever his other qualities are. Wailing and falling to pieces over a minor problem such as this doesn't bode well for the future.

Unless, of course, he has some phobia of water or something, in which case I take it back. He did well to be out there to begin with.

FFS...

you! yes, you, in the fucking canoe, whining like a baby. Listen up!

You will now go find this little girl
*related=http://videosift.com/video/Amazing-Little-Girl-Shows-How-to-Right-And-Self-Bail-Canoe

You will acknowledge that she is a better, more competent human than you and you will give her all your shit, because you're an idiot.

Amazing Little Girl Shows How to Right And Self-Bail Canoe has been added as a related post - related requested by ChaosEngine.

OMG I laugh every. single. time.

Sarah observes natural selection in the wild, as a useless spaz succumbs to its inherent inability to survive under less than ideal conditions and/or circumstances.

-or-

Onlookers laugh as loud, pasty ginger slowly drowns.

*wtf

Adding video to channels (Wtf) - requested by ant.

yep..call fake

I really don't think he's the kind of guy who would have a girlfriend. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I actually tried that, last time I swamped a canoe (maybe a month ago). It's way harder than it looks, and you might need one of those wicked autochthonous dugout canoes to make it work.

The wail of the redheaded sea banshee is considered by many sailors to be the herald of unspeakable doom.

i would be willing to bet that sarah is probably his sister and he has mental issues.

I agree with this completely, I've tried practicing this while on kayaking trips and have never been able to do it, even in calm water. The people who can do it make it look easy though, so it's somewhat deceptive. Fair point by @ChaosEngine though methinks

@ghark @Buttle aside from being hyperbolic for the sake of a joke, I am well aware of the skill required for that bail manoeuvre.

Doesn't lessen my contempt for the subject of this video.

Worry not, he will not not make natural selection.

*doublepromote *quality funny

Double-Promoting this video back to the front page; last published Monday, September 1st, 2014 3:35pm PDT - doublepromote requested by eric3579.

Boosting this quality contribution up in the Hot Listing - declared quality by eric3579.

I was expecting an alligator.
I was disappointed.

I think this needs to go here for eveyone to watch

https://wgntv.com/2014/08/21/chicago-area-guy-in-viral-kayaking-video-explains-how-it-all-went-down/

I have to admit, I originally thought this was a new sift. I scrolled down after watching it and saw my previous comment before seeing your new one at the end here and was a little taken aback by how cruel it reads. I can be fairly certain my intended tone was meant to be playfully mocking, but with four years to forget in between, it seems downright venomous now.

Somewhere a few years back, I read that when sending an e-mail or whatever, it is best to read it back to yourself imagining it was written by the biggest asshole you know. Then based on the assumption that it will be received the same way by the actual recipient, edit it so it doesn't piss you off anymore. That was pretty good advice.

Naturally that doesn't apply here, of course, because I am anonymous and being a giant asshole is my god given right.

Found this from Tosh.0 - Max web redemption

I communicate 70*80% with clients at work through email, and I totally get this. Any time, I have something that isn't coming across right, instantly I need to pick up the phone.

I've also told my son that I won't discuss things with him through text any more. Doesn't matter what I say in response to his texts, he thinks I'm mad at him, and I think he's mocking me lol

Though in person, or by phone, everything always sounds perfectly acceptable. "Tone of voice" doesn't translate in short sentences,

This is the kind of man society is desiring.

De-masculating the male is a bad thing.

I was wondering how you liked your men.