*promote

Self promoting this video and sending it back into the queue for one more try; last queued Thursday, November 14th, 2013 11:23am PST - promote requested by original submitter shveddy.

Doomsday Preppers: Bible Edition.

LOL

At the end of the trailer, I was surprised they didn't put "GOD" in for writing credits

♫ Fightin' animals round the wooorrld! ♪

NO way, men wrote that shit! Men inspired by fightin', an punchin', an kickin 'round the world! ♪

First poor Tugger, now an ark... LOL.

I wonder how they will explain how all the animals got there, and how all the animals in the world fit in a rather small boat (large for its age to be sure)... and how it is nearly a word for word copy of a much older Sumerian flood story that the Hebrew people would have learned about during the Babylonian Exile period... and how there is no physical evidence of the flood, let alone the 4500 years ago it would have happened according to the Bible...

you just know they're going to rerelease the book with a crappy movie tie-in cover.

Tags for this video have been changed from 'Bible, Genesis, Noahs Flood, Gods Wrath' to 'Bible, Genesis, Noahs Flood, Gods Wrath, Darren Aronofsky' - edited by Sarzy

You left out the most important part -- it's directed by Darren Aronofsky, which pretty much guarantees that it'll be more interesting than your typical overblown Hollywood blockbuster.

Fuck you Aronofsky. You ran the fuck out of ideas, now all you have left is religious zombies to watch your shit.

How exactly has he run out of ideas? I think you're going to have to expand on that. Every film he's made has been radically different than the last, and by all accounts this is a passion project that he's been wanting to make for years.

Dude WHAT!? Noah's ark with some CG and Crowe as ol' gloom 'n doom?! Hell man, he fucks his own daughter before it plays out, give it a chance!?


I wanna see the cinematic version of ol' Joseph Smith and the Mormons fuckin' shit up...Let me cast THAT epic motherfucker!

Not entirely true, there is evidence of localised flooding around the arabian peninsula, however it pre-dates the chronology of the 'noah' period by thousands of years.

I cant recall the exact region, but it occured when the ice sheets that used to cover that area receded, it might have something to do with how the dead sea was formed? My memory is shaky on the specifics to be honest, but a giant flood did happen, albeit localised . Nothing to do with spooky sky ghosts or anything like that, just the end of the last ice age around the time that man and mammoth both walked the lands.

A long time ago, when the Earth was green,
There was more kinds of animals than you've ever seen.
And they'd run around free when the Earth was being born,
And the loveliest of 'em all was the unicorn.

There was green alligators and long-necked geese,
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees.
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born,
The loveliest of all was the unicorn.

Well now God seen some sinnin' and it caused Him pain.
And He said, "Stand back, I'm going to make it rain!"
He said, "Hey, Brother Noah, I'll tell you what to do,
build me a floating zoo,"

"and take some of them".......

"Green alligators and long-necked geese,
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees.
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born.
Don't you forget My unicorns."

Well Old Noah he was there and he answered the callin',
And he finished makin' the ark just as the rain started to fallin'.
Then he marched in all them animals two by two,
And he sung out as they went through,

"Hey Lord,"

"I got Your green alligators and long-necked geese,
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees.
Some cats and rats and elephants, but Lord, I'm so forlorn,
I just can't see no unicorns!"

And Noah looked out through the driving rain,
Them unicorns were hiding, playing silly games.
They were kickin' and splashin' while the rain was pourin',
Oh, them silly unicorns!

There was green alligators and long-necked geese,
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees.
Noah cried, "Close the door 'cause the rain is just pourin',
And we just cannot wait for no unicorn!"

The ark started moving, and it drifted with the tide,
And them unicorns looked up from the rocks and they cried.
And the waters come down and sort of floated them away,
That's why you never seen a unicorn to this very day.

But you'll see green alligators and long-necked geese,
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees.
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born,
You're never gonna see no unicorn!

Read more: Irish Rovers - The Unicorn Lyrics | MetroLyrics

the one instance in which the movie's likely to be better than the book

They wouldn't have learned about the Epic of Gilgamesh during the Babylonian Exile! The exiles were WAY later than the book of Genesis was written. They would have learned about it in Egypt or before. As I understand it, the book of Genesis was written during the Israelites' flight through the wilderness (what the book of Exodus is about).

But yes, I agree there are flood myths pre-dating the Hebrew scriptures and I'm eager to see what the Christian community does with this movie.

Also, I agree with charliem. There is evidence of localized flooding that could have given rise to the many flood myths among Ancient Near Eastern peoples. One fascinating theory is that a major flood happened when the Bosporus Strait collapsed and the water levels of the Mediterranean and Black Seas equalized. It's in the book "Noah's Flood" - http://amzn.to/1ieH4GX

Point of clarification, I know there is lots of evidence of localized flooding, I'm speaking of a lack of evidence for the Bible's description of a world wide flood.

Also, my understanding of the first five books were that they all come from 4 older documents, which were segmented into the Pentateuch... see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Documentary_hypothesis for more. I haven't followed up with more recent hypothesis regarding the books, but I was under the impression the general idea, even if it isn't the the specific four books originally thought composed the books, with Genesis being a combo of all four, which stretch into 500 BCE. The Noah story itself is combined of the "Jahwist (YHWH) source and the Priestly (Elohim) source", and the Priestly would be after the exile, though the Jahwist would be well before the exile (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genesis_flood_narrative and it's link to flood myths overall). I know Wikipedia isn't the most reliable of sources, and without taking the time to vet the sources they quote, I'll go with the explanation given for the moment.

Also, I'm into seeing it. I'm sure it will be entertaining. Aronofsky alone makes it worth considering at the very least... Biblical epics (and semi Biblical movies such as Ben-Hur...) can make for great cinema. So count me in... Even when I was a Christian I started doubting the flood story as anything more than a parable or allegory, much like the Creation story, Jonah, Sodom's destruction and the rescue of Lot... and there are some good stories to tell... perhaps some exposure to other myths would be nice, but I think the Abramic stories are more familiar to more Americans and world wide audiences than say trying to make a movie about some Celtic god... or Nordic god (Thor doesn't count...)... most of which they'd butcher in Hollywood anyhow...

Oh good, a sequel to Master and Commander.

HArrrAGGHH!! Or a prequel to pulling a Gibson!

*related=http://videosift.com/video/The-Irish-Rovers-Live-The-Unicorn-Song

The Irish Rovers Live - The Unicorn Song has been added as a related post - related requested by deathcow.

It's all about the in play! (Subtle Ray Winstone reference).

I would love to have a laugh at this once it's on Netflix. Why does Anthony Hopkins always sound like he's phoning it in? Such an overrated actor.

And where's Ridley Scott? Thought he was married to Crowe?

I wonder if they'll go into the shipbuilding technology required to build a single super large vessel capable of surviving a world-wide flood?

Oohhh, fire sword! I wonder what achievement he had to unlock to get that? The Survive and Impossible Flood with Every Unknown Animal Numbering in the Millions on a Tiny Ass Boat that Violates the Laws of Engineering? I mean, if that's all I need to do to get a fire sword I'm in!

This is the start of some post-apocalyptic story. The Comic has been going for a while.

So... this is a remake of Evan Almighty?

At the end of the movie, the camera pulls back to a frazzled old man in an insane asylum talking to his shrink. "And that's how it really happened!", he proclaims, before being led back to his cell. The screen cuts to black, an image of a middle finger fades in on screen, a chorus of fart noises blare out and the credits begin to roll.

Despite naysayers to the contrary, the Bible is historical and Reliogious fact. People try to claim that events in the Bible didn't happen ... i.e. there wasn't a Jesus (proven that has was born, crucified and that thousands reported seeing him post Crucifixion that even atheist historians agree on), David, Solomon, etc etc

Perhaps you should widen you mind's understanding to consider that perhaps the flood legends/records in ancient civilizations point back all to the common event of a world wide flood.

It is one thing to say that you choose not to follow God and what he stands for (thus Free Will), but don't be intellectually dishonest to claim that what the Bible records didn't happen. The proof continues to be provided and yet people don't believe. Even when Jesus, the Son of God was present and healing people and raising them from the dead, people still chose to turn away and call for his Crucifixion.

Just because you cannot conceive of a way that a world wide flood could happen doesn't make it not so. 200 years ago, we did not have knowledge of flight, DNA etc and the more we learn continues to demonstrate that we intricately complex designed by a Creator, God, and not happenstance. How people can claim evolution and believe in entropy at the same time is mental deceit.

I'll watch it just for the cast.
Just sayin'

Sorry but no.

There was no worldwide flood. It's a silly myth. Perhaps you should open your mind to the idea that not everything in your Bible is true, particularly the things that are absurd and utterly impossible, like say, fitting all the worlds species on one boat.

connoly is smokin hot

That's why he left the dinosaurs. Duh.

There's never been a world wide flood now there's an emboldened statement-There's never been a pole shift either but there's plenty of ocean-bottom above ground in deserts.
Mmmm....Desert.

Is Hollywood 'this' devoid of ideas? I guess they are. Oddly enough this has a lot of talent behind it, and it looks like it could be interesting. I mean Battleship looked stupid as fuck but was actually pretty fun.

Martineister I can respect your belief. There are many stories of a great flood in many cultures but one must realize that floods are not an uncommon thing, even floods that consume entire parts of the world. For example, there is evidence that the Mediterranean was formed by a flood several million years ago. But there is zero scientific evidence that the world itself flooded, or that 17'400'000'000 animals (2 of the 8.7 billion known species on the planet) fit on a boat about 2/3rd the size of the Titanic.

Please file this under "Battlefield Earth" and "Atlas Shrugged" for "Crappy books that made crappy movies".

Seriously? This has got to be a parody right?
Everyone involved should hang their heads in shame.

>small voice from back of room, incites rabble: "I say, we hang the casting director."

Well... Before watching the trailer I found it hard to imagine how this could possibly be a good movie, but the conflict between people going on the boat and the people left behind is sort of interesting... although then again, it makes you think about how millions of people were murdered. I mean it's a holocaust, and the protagonists of this movie helped ensure its effectiveness.

On one hand, it's Aronofsky, who I really like as a director, and have seen every movie except The Black Swan. The Fountain is actually one of my favorite movies.

On the other hand, it's one of the stupidest biblical stories for which I have absolutely no respect at any level.

I'm secretly hoping this is all some big post-modern slight of hand and the movie will end up really being about deeply questioning the idea that the Abraham god is in fact the benevolent being he and his followers claim. (I mean seriously this is essentially about God's genocide of basically the entire human race)

I do however expect to find this hope to be entirely unfulfilled, but such is life

You sir clearly do not fully understand the nature of entropy (and nor does about 95% of the human race so you can be forgiven there).

You have however stumbled into making a genuinely worthwhile point here (though I must state I think for completely the wrong reasons).

The idea that the universe inevitably moves towards a complete "heat death" is I think incorrect, it fails to account for the effect of ever increasing complexity within the closed systems the universe produces (i.e. evolution which applies as much cosmically as it does to organic life on earth).

If the universe remained with no more complexity than it currently has then yes everything would eventually "burn out" and spread the energy of the universe so thinly that everything would cease to work (if only on a space-time level).

But the nature of the universe does not remain static, it creates ever more complex and actuated systems dialectically. Energies>Particles>Compounds>Nebulae>Stars>Planets>Organisms>Unconsciousness>Consciousness>???>God! (not intended to be an exhaustive list it's purely for illustration)

Evolution does trump entropy IMHO but this is largely because the actual laws of entropy are crazy complicated to understand and most people (including to some extent myself) don;t fully understand the subtleties of how it really works.

If nothing else; to say that the whole universe eventually enters a state of complete entropy assumes that every complex closed system that does or ever will exist will eventually break down. This is far from a forgone conclusion, we alone as evolving conscious creatures are capable of developing means to circumvent or even prevent this. Let alone what other wonders we have yet to observe or the universe has yet to manifest!

In conclusion: The Universe evolves until it reaches God (or dies trying ). God does not then create the universe but rather commits suicide (what else is God to do? Eternity is a very long time for someone that already knows and has done everything...). Process repeats ad infinitum.


Makes a lot more sense that way around don't you think? (and no ancient books of dubious origin need ever be consulted to derive it either)

Saying God created the universe only leaves you with more questions which by their very nature cannot be answered. We would have to be God itself to ever answer them, so we are left with a judgement call. No logical certainty, only faith.

This way around we can by pure rationalism and empiricism arrive at an explanation of how the universe might evolve God via ever increasing complexity of consciousness and actualisation (true post-humans alone would be like demi-gods, it's not a huge leap to keep taking this idea further)

Further to that Ontological mathematics (that is to say "really real mathematics") can assess a framework to understand how the universe itself came to be (we can arguably go pre-big bang with this but that's always going to be a controversial idea here).

^ Now I might be wrong about some or even all of that but it is at least a reductive argument. Using God as an explanation for anything without first explaining God is always going to be a circular argument. If your going to use circular logic you can prove basically anything you feel like!

"God is dead!"

will see this

sure!

Great post. Don't know why you used "God" in your explanation, it's a totally irrelevant reference.
Let me describe Entropy wholly and completely to you:
"Probability"
As you mentioned evolution creates structure. Hell, atoms, molecules, galaxies, stars, gravity, magnetism, create structure.
In an atomic world, a noisy chaotic world, systems are far more likely (think brownian motion) to drift into noise than to maintain their structure. ie. There is a billion ways a system can be disrupted, and only one way where it is perfectly intact... Hence systems (or evolution or life or matter whatever) will always move towards disorder. This is Entropy.And yes, life, gravity, matter, are all working against this disorder.