I can't wait for someone to hack the display computer and put up the world's largest Dick-Butt.

( https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/dick-butt )

I see them here in Seattle this Saturday -- totally jazzed!

Actual footage of Seattle drivers.

Sopranos meets Batman!

It looks like we're all Bay Area refugees!

My Camaro was a shark-nose '97.

For classics, I owned a '73 Charger SE and I loved me the hell out of that car, too. It was the size of an aircraft carrier and the engine compartment was bigger than my condo. The scariest thing about that car was how easily the back end would come around in a sharp turn. The first rains of the year were a horror show when the pavement was like oiled glass. "Am I gonna beat that red? Gun it! ... uh-oh."

Now I drive a Mazda 3 and responsibly. Getting old sucks.

I got pulled over by the CHP for doing 110 outside King City in California.

The cop didn't even ask how fast I was going. He just said "110" and then he said "I'm going to write you up for 80 and save your license."

"Thank you, Officer." -- and I was sincere as fuck when I said it, too.

That was the last speeding ticket I got and it was over 20 years ago. Luckily, there was no cop around when I hit 140 on highway 237 outside Mountain View a week later. I miss the hell out of my Z-28!

Up until 9/11, that was the defining TV live event of my life.

Can this please be a national vote?

This is how I envision the H1-B program working.

D'ylike dags?

Shit, I remember playing this game. You kids with your Call of Duty and "Graphics" don't know how much fun C64 games were -- when you couldn't save and the game was the same four levels over and over again. But they were fun.

I'M NOT TAKING A NAP, NURSE!

My Mom used to say that, too. She remembers this show well.

Does Terence Malleck know you're stealing his act?

I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE!

So what exactly happened here? A train hit something? Is Priscilla ok? Were any Border Collies hurt? Did a giant Barbie cause this? Can a bunny really eat a horse's face off?

So many questions in life -- who has time for it all?

Shit, that was a question too, wasn't it?

DAMMIT!