Congratulations, KP. Now I feel very slow.

My addendum to the potential silver diamond star powers:

*Ability to post snuff films in which you star
*Ability to downvote siftbot's comments

Congrats, kronosposeidon!

Congrats, KP. I don't know how you managed to do it so fast, but I'm guessing it had something to do with siftbot, a can of oil and a few industrial-strength batteries.

so...how's the sabbatical going?

Comment hidden because you are ignoring dag. (show it anyway)

Thanks for your contributions KP- I'll even forgive you for the animated furry porn on this momentous occasion.

*Mind Bullets (that's telekinesis, kyle. he already mentioned that, 2nd to last.)

*How about the power... to move you.

Wow, KP. One of the true giants of Siftitude. I bestow upon you jelly, syrup and A$$ gravy. Your comments make my cow-orkers peek into my cubicle to see what's so funny. Your videos always get me clikin' on that vote tab. Mostly downvotes but that apparently hasn't slowed you up any. Great great stuff and the Sift wouldn't be the same without you.

As for DFT's *quality star power list there, I'm glad I'm not the only one with a "tin" fetish.

Congratulations KP!

Awarding dystopianfuturetoday with one star point for this contribution to Sift Talk - declared quality by schmawy.

500 Diamond?! Great Jesuits! Congratulations, KP! Very exciting, bro. I'd be even happier for you if you liked Beowulf, but everyone has their faults. Congrats, amigo. Your new power will be the ability to invoke *instastrip for Choggie so you can see him naked for a period of one hour. So, go forth and burn out your retinas to your heart's content.

And, DFT, I think Kronos has already lost his "faction creation" privileges.

>> ^my15minutes:
Mind Bullets (that's telekinesis, kyle. he already mentioned that, 2nd to last.)
How about the power... to move you.


You lost me.

*undead should SUMMON uhohzombies.

^done

Oh snap! Congrats Kronos, you're definitely one of my favorite sifters. It's like you have an unending fount of hilarious quips and witticisms that I always look forward to finding on a comments thread. It wouldn't be the same around here without ya, so here's to the next 500!

JAPR beat me to the point I was going to make about *undead haha.

Wow, invoking *undead does summon uhohzombies! That was spooky. And, hey, uhoh, you may now get off your knees and remove your lips from KP's genitalia. Wow, I just saw KP hanging out in the blogs smoking a cigarette.

>> ^blankfist:
Wow, invoking *undead does summon uhohzombies!


You rang?

And look, I'm sorry I rebuffed your advances the other night, but we don't need any jealousy in here tainting the joyous occasion!

Where's my 10 dollars you whore?

Hhhmmmm, if he can summon the undead, perhaps he could summon 'Tossing the Salad' in his own name? Congratulations KP, and may I add

*the ability to view us all naked by reversing the powers of our webcams!

cause why stop at Choggie?

grats hon! you totally GO d00d!

*Conjugal visits with siftbot.

we've gotta keep sifty well lubed
congrats KP

KP, you can now invoke *assgravy whenever you want Siftie to automatically "congratulate" someone on your behalf. This will save you all that time making shit up and pretending you like people on here and acting like you give two piles of dookie about someone's "quality contribution to the site". Basically, that's what I wish I could do for you right now. Just give you a big ol' bowl of greasy *assgravy, dude. *assgravy.

Oh Man... if I had power point I would have *quality this for this comment alone:

*Ability to self-link your own porn and snuff.

All Hail! Mighty Geek God Kronos, dominion over...well no one in particular really.

Oh well. Congrats, anyway. Sheep lover.

MycroftHomlz cannot award a quality point for this Sift Talk post because MycroftHomlz does not have enough Power Points - ignoring quality request by MycroftHomlz. (You can always purchase more Power Points.)

>> ^my15minutes:
Mind Bullets (that's telekinesis, kyle. he already mentioned that, 2nd to last.)
How about the power... to move you.


^And this is just genius.

Thanks to all of you beautiful bastards. I couldn't have made it this far without the love and affection that you've showered upon me like a Tub Girl fountain. It's hard to believe that I've finally reached 500 without having to blackmail more than half of you or create more than 47 sock puppet accounts. Some of you apparently vote for my stuff because you like it. Go figure.

Things have changed a lot since I was but a wee probie. It was a Golden Age, when men were
giants, and the women told them "Oh yes, if by 3 inches you mean gigantic then yes, you are a giant." Back then we had to hunt and gather our videos during the day, and post them at night in the shelter of our chat rooms. Then one morning a big shiny sift appeared in our midst, and before we knew it we were doing amazingly complex things, like using the asterisk key, and summoning ass gravy on special occasions.

Oh yes, how the times have changed. So now that I'm older and fatter I'll impart these words of counsel, in the hopes of growing this site and fostering a sense of community:

- Declare moral bankruptcy
- If in doubt about a video's quality, ask yourself "What would Larry Flynt do?"
- Never give a sucker an even break
- Reserve your downvotes for the worst of the worst, i.e., educational or thought-provoking videos. If I wanted my intellect stimulated I'd be well into the 5th grade by now.
- Kill or be killed
- Think before you type. There's at least 50 different ways to call someone an asshole
- Never ask to see Choggie naked, unless you've had an erection lasting more than 4 hours.

For my silver diamond privilege I'd like dag to pay my tab at the Emperor VIP Club. Just refer to me as "Client Number 1". And remember kids, keep those donations coming!

6 months, holy cow! Congratulations, Kronos

Energetic.
-Karlhans Yankfister, San Francisco Examiner

Wow that was fas KP!! And here I thought I was the one addicted to the sweet sweet vote crack

Congrats!

Congrats, Mr. P. You're one of a kind. Thank God.

>> ^MycroftHomlz:
>> ^my15minutes:
Mind Bullets (that's telekinesis, kyle. he already mentioned that, 2nd to last.)
How about the power... to move you.

^And this is just genius.

tyvm! that was... levitating, Holmz.

and for the benefit of Mr Kyle, there will be a show tonight,
as soon as blankman updates his embed, and i *promote this...
this epic of Wagnerian proportions:

http://www.videosift.com/video/Tenacious-D-Wonder-Boy

Promoting this Sift Talk post - promote requested by my15minutes.

Kudos, KP!

Congrats

You have imparted many LULZ

CONGRATS, KRONOS!!! Five hundred star points ALREADY? You are one sick,insane, fiendishly Siftin', former Balloon-Jesus-turned-Bazooka-Squirrel! The hilarity of your comments give me gastric pains. Just promise to never make that bet again... and you know what I'm talking about.


YAY FIVE-HUNDRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>> ^kronosposeidon:
Thanks to all of you beautiful bastards. I couldn't have made it this far without the love and affection that you've showered upon me like a Tub Girl fountain. It's hard to believe that I've finally reached 500 without having to blackmail more than half of you or create more than 47 sock puppet accounts. Some of you apparently vote for my stuff because you like it. Go figure.
Things have changed a lot since I was but a wee probie. It was a Golden Age, when men were
giants, and the women told them "Oh yeah, if by 3 inches you mean gigantic then yes, you are a giant." Back then we had to hunt and gather our videos during the day, and post them at night in the shelter of our chat rooms. Then one morning a big shiny sift appeared in our midst, and before we knew we it were doing amazingly complex things, like using the asterisk key, and summoning ass gravy on special occasions.
Oh yes, how the times have changed. So now that I'm older and fatter I'll impart these words of counsel, in the hopes of growing this site and fostering a sense of community:
- Declare moral bankruptcy
- If in doubt about a video's quality, ask yourself "What would Larry Flynt do?"
- Never give a sucker an even break
- Reserve your downvotes for the worst of the worst, i.e., educational or thought-provoking videos. If I wanted my intellect stimulated I'd be well into the 5th grade by now.
- Kill or be killed
- Think before you type. There's at least 50 different ways to call someone an asshole
- Never ask to see Choggie naked, unless you've had an erection lasting more than 4 hours.
For my silver diamond privilege I'd like dag to pay my tab at the Emperor VIP Club. Just refer to me as "Client Number 1". And remember kids, keep those donations coming!


Oh Jesus Christ, no one asked for your Vagina Monologue.

Well done, mighty Kronos!

Bodaciouse

This may be the end of the world as we know it!

Grats, timegod, you deserve it.

Grats KP!

Krongratposations! Awesome having you here!

a great big congratulations to you kp! i'm pretty sure anyone with the ability to sift that many videos in that short a time period should receive the diamondpower of *selfban. it'll keep things in perspective and then give you a chance to start over and accrue those hard carbon lumps once again

This is turning into a comment upvote circlejerk.

^I dare you to upvote this comment.

How on earth could I have missed such an infamous occasion? Congratulations to our new Siftlord!

Last!