To quote Hellraiser 2: 'Take them off me!'

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Promoting this video and sending it back into the queue for one more try; last queued Wednesday, January 4th, 2017 2:20pm PST - promote requested by Mordhaus.

Why have kids if you intend to be selfish into old age?

Exactly. Not everyone on this earth is meant to be a parent. Just like most things in life, it takes a person with the right personality, skills, traits, whatever, do be a good parent. I'm a father of a 4 year old, and while I think I'm a good dad, I have my flaws. But I knew what I was getting into. While is also why I stopped at 1 kid. He's awesome. (so far) We hit the jackpot, and I'm good with 1 and done.

It drives me crazy when I hear parents of 1, 2, 3, 4+ kids complaining that they never have free time....don't have enough money...bad mouthing their kids...

If that's how you feel, then why did you have kids?! If that's what you wanted, then you need to be all in and don't complain about something you had total control to prevent. "But I got 4 kids!" Well, you know how that happened right?

And don't get me wrong. I'm not judging the lady in this video. It could be short, tongue in cheek humor. I'm talking about people I personally know.

Maybe she just has a good sense of humor. I found it quite funny and didn't think it was some selfish thing she was doing. She seems to be a loving mother of quadruplets. http://gardnerquadsquad.com/

Seems a bit judgy with so little to go on.

So, if you had had quads instead of your one child, I would be in the right to berate you if you complained, felt overwhelmed, or didn't offer your full attention lovingly at all times?
What would you suggest a parent that's only equipped to raise one or two children do when they unexpectedly end up with four? Spartanize them?

Edit: and thanks to a lack of sex ed, no, some don't know how that happens.

Ok, I'll play.

I have two boys, 19 months and three years old. I'm in my late thirties, wife in mid thirties. We waited until we were in a decent position financially before having kids. I saw my brother bring up my nephew who is now six so I knew what babies are like and toddlers are like before we had kids ourselves. I took a year and a half off to be a stay at home dad for our first child.

But there's this massive taboo in the UK, and I'm going to guess in America too. Having kids is good, and you're not allowed to say otherwise. I knew that there would be sleepless nights, that on occasion I'd be covered in vomit, or poo, or both. I knew that kids could be annoying.

But I didn't really understand what all that meant. To hear anyone talk about having kids it makes it seem like these things are just background noise for all the wonderful, giggly happy times.

No one told me how relentless it would be. While you can know that you'll be tired if you have a kid that wakes at night you don't really understand it until you haven't had a full night's sleep for three years. Not a single one.

Yes, somehow I should have fully understood everything before actually experiencing it. And of course I shouldn't say anything bad about it, it's all good.

But that's bullshit.

Having kids can be amazing, and getting to know my children's personalities as they've grown has been one of the most incredible experiences of my life. If I had my time again I would do it again.

But seeing some sanctimonious arse bitching about other people's experiences, which could be very different to their own, just makes my skin crawl. You're saying that because you made a decision you're not ever allowed to moan about it? Even if your whole life leading up to it was full of misleading misinformation? Even if the experience you chose turned out to not be typical through no fault of your own?

Pretty much any path a person takes in life can be framed as a result of a decision somewhere along the line. It's like saying that no one can complain about anything, anytime.

Despite what you say having kids is different to what just about anyone expects. If it wasn't for you then well done, you're in the tiny minority. You probably deserve some kind of prize for being so amazing. Here, I've got a little cup around here somewhere. Wait, I'll find it. Here it is. It's engraved. It reads 'Fuck you, you sanctimonious prick'.

Life is full of ups and downs. For me having kids has made the highs higher and the lows lower. I've never felt as amazing as I have when my kids do something brilliant. But I've never felt as down as I did about three months into my second child who was very colicky and just cried almost constantly and at night slept for an hour or so then was awake and screaming for an hour then slept and so on. For three months solid.

No one told me about that. No one made it clear that this was to be expected. My first was a reasonable, average baby. He had his moments but we thought we really understood what we were getting into.

But there's the rub. All kids are different. Even two boys, close in age to the same parents are like chalk ad cheese. To think you understand someone else's situation enough to bitch about them like you have is just stupid. So your child is good and you've enjoyed being a dad? Good for you. You were lucky. Others aren't so lucky and arses like you bitching about them doesn't help. Stop patting yourself on the back and realise that a large part of you having a good experience is nothing more than luck.

So, there you go. I'm sure I fit into your bad parent category. But at least I don't belittle the experiences of others and don't assume that I fully understand their experience.

Yes, some parents can be annoying, but the vast majority who are moaning are genuinely stressed and down. A little empathy can go a long way. Or you could just be an arse hole and bitch about them.

Like Esoog, I've only got the one, which is a bit of hard work but easily manageable. Even then, though, I don't think anyone knows exactly how hard it's going to be until you have one... or two, or three, or four. OK, maybe by your fifth you should realise how much harder the next will be.

I think that no matter how many you have, so long as they're all still ok, it's great to go and sneak away for a treat. It's not like she went to the pub for a couple of hours; she was right there with them and would have heard a bump or a scream. I don't see any justification for complaint about her.

Teaching yourself independence from your kids is the first step to teaching them independence from you.

It's like people who complain about kids left in an air conditioned car while the parent drops in to the shop for 5 minutes. The chance of injury is minuscule, especially if the kid's asleep. Everyone has the right to parent their own way so long as it doesn't damage the kids permanently (within reason).

Of course, I have a low bar: I say that my parenting is successful if the three of us are still alive and talking to one another.

No More Milk! Mom Needs a Break! has been added as a related post - related requested by Payback on that post.

Holy crap people, considering what teenagers accuse their parents of NO MATTER HOW THEY'RE RAISED, I think a little dark humour is allowed.

I have a 10 and 12 year old.
When she said "They never go away." rang so true to me.

ChaosEngine words above are right on target.

Id put money on them being pretty good parents. Seems they went through quite a bit more than most to have children.

Can I upvote your extremely well thought out and succinct comment one hundred times?

K, thanks.

Also, it gets better at 5...6...especially when they start to really learn and can read.

tldr: The decisions made in creating and rearing offspring are subject to a different set of moral criteria than all others because those decisions affect everyone.

Here's the problem with that thought. You didn't just make a decision that affected your life. Or even one that affected the lives of yourself and others you know. You intentionally created another sentient being. Because of human nature, that sentient being is now not just your responsibility, but everyone else's as well. Your decision quite literally affected the entire species. Or should I say infected.

There is no other decision anyone can make that has such an extent of repercussions (with the possible exception of murder). Whether you further choose to be responsible for your offspring is, from a decision making point of view, completely separate from the decision to create that offspring. And likewise, the decisions you make regarding the care of that offspring are entirely separate from the decision to create it. Those decisions are, whether you like it or not, subject to critique. You may not like it, and you may in fact see the entire process (conception, birth, weaning, rearing, etc...) as a single act. Either way, the entirety of the species is now constrained by your initial act of creation. The question is not whether you are a “good parent”. The question is how much of a burden upon or boon to the species will you be.

Just to make this contrast clear…. if I, as thinking adult, decide to consume alcohol in such excess that it causes my liver to fail, I can ask the species to help me to the point of giving me a new liver - which may or may not be granted based on my own words and actions. If you ask a similar favor on behalf your offspring, however, it’s an entirely different moral calculus.

Bullshit. There are lots of decisions you can make that can affect everyone. Having kids is not as distinct as you're making out. The 1%ers can make decisions which affect millions of people way more than me having a kid ever could.

Every single one of us is someone's kid. Your moral situation is no different to anyone's, including my offspring. You can't separate yourself from any parent child thing, you're already intrinsically connected to that relationship. Your life is made better every day by things that other people do. Things that other people have invented, created. You're kept safe by people dying to protect you.

You live in a world made entirely of the work of other people's kids.

All the internet warriors really came out of the wood works this time.

GG guys.

Dark humor is awesome.

Children are evil. Evil. EVIL.

I have two and regularly torture them. I also love them. They appear to love me back. All is right in the universe.

Carry on with the bickering. It's funny.