I ain't sayin' SHIT without my lawyer!
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So...umm...any of yooz a lawyer?

I will turn myself in for a lesser sentence. My crimes:
http://www.videosift.com/video/Bobby-Womack-Across-110th-Street
http://www.videosift.com/video/Parliament-Funkadelic-One-Nation-
Under-a-Groove
http://www.videosift.com/video/Bootsy-Collins-Strectchin-Out
http://www.videosift.com/video/I-Wanna-Get-Next-to-You-sce
ne-from-the-movie-Car-Wash

I apologize for the cheese...

^Duly noted. May Judge Swampy have mercy upon you come sentencing.

whoever posted Lost in Love wins-
I dinna even know that was going down, the other guys made me post the one that made it, i was guilt-ridden for involvement initially, so I discarded the other one, never even wore any cheese... and furthermore, i am under the jurisdickshuns of no court!!!

Exonerated!!!!

I plead guilty.

Viva la fromage!

Guilty as cheesed, uh charged! And I'd do it again!
(uh, are we doing it again?)

and you listed Disco Duck twice. Erroneous records! Mistrial! Mistrial!

Perhaps "ODOR in the court" might be more suitable. Someone must have given cheese to the "3 Second Cat."

Here's to CHEESE SOLIDARITY and the FROMAGE FIGHTERS! We need us a flag next time. We can march around and wave it!

Oh and I don't believe cheese stopped with the seventies . . .

Thankyou Bailiff and... prosecutor Schmawy. All in court may be seated.

I've read the affidavit of the first witness and if Oxdottir has any further testimony to offer the witness may come forward at any time.

If the prosecuting attorney can now call to the stand a defendant? All will have an opportunity to offer a defense for themselves before I make my decree.

Due to courts restricted budget, defendants will represent themselves as there are no court attorneys to appoint for them. Our regrets to Kronosposeidon.

I will represent kronosposeidon...


*ahem* He's guilty and I want him sentenced to death. I rest my case.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it; that does not make sense!

Why would a Wookiee, an eight-foot tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of two-foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself: What does this have to do with this case? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense! Look at me. I'm defending myself and others against a great injustice, and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca! Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember, when you're in that jury room deliberatin' and conjugatin' the Emancipation Proclamation... does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense!
If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit!

The defense rests.

I call to the stand Critttter.

Due to bad weather here, I call a recess.

Yikes.. it's lighting!

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Court, we call a recess because there's lightning and the Judge won't come out from under the bed.

With apologies to Air Supply and I'm all out of love (What am I saying! I loathe air supply!)

I'm cruzing the sift but my thoughts are adrift
pulling my hair till it hurts
There's cheese everywhere, was it cuz of the dare?
there's a wedge on each avatar...

I wish I could bury each post and each song
lactose intolerance brings me so low
would you make me believe that tomorrow could bring
a place where swiss couldn't go?

CHORUS:

I can't take the smell, limburger gags me
you all kept it up, much, oh much too long
I can't take the slock, the pathos, it rags me
you have to admit, you have to say you were wrong!

So I see that little turncoat rottenseed turned state's evidence in return for leniency. No surprise there; what else would you expect from a douche nozzle?

You want me to defend myself because of one cheesy video; one that I had the good sense to kill moments before it would have sifted. You want to know why I did it all? You think you're entitled to know my reasons? Well let me tell YOU something...

You can't handle the truth! Son, we live in a web site that has videos. And those videos have to be guarded by men and women with votes. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Schmawy? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for oxdottir and you curse the Cheese Corps. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that oxdottir's disgust, while tragic, probably saved videos. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves videos...You don't want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on this site. You need me on this site.

We use words like upvote, quality, promote...we use these words as the backbone to a life spent watching something. You use 'em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very videos I promote, then questions the manner in which I promote them! I'd rather you just said thank you, and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you post a cheesy video and vote for a couple of them. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to!
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Can I go now? I gotta pee.

>> ^gwiz665:
I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember, when you're in that jury room deliberatin' and conjugatin' the Emancipation Proclamation... does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense!
If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit!
The defense rests.


I am fairly confident gwiz is trying to plead insanity

It wasn't me!

It was the one-armed man.

I'm innocent I tells ya. I was just trying to make a quick microwave nacho snack. Somehow my cellphone was left inside, it morphed into a giant cheese hat... I don't know what happened next. I woke up with a hangover and a large cheese wedge affixed to my skull.

Ya gotta beleez mah!

I object to this whole line of questioning, your honor.

Objection overruled.

I wait for the human forms to eliminate themselves.

couldn't have been me, your honor - I'm alergic to all dairy products.

I plead Awesome

I plead guilty. When we doing it again?

*Tosses a stick of Cheddar AT THE BENCH.*

Last night's lightning storm knocked out our cable until this afternoon. My appologies.

Let the proceedings resume

>> ^schmawy:
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Court, we call a recess because there's lightning and the Judge won't come out from under the bed.


Not far from it. Sam had to be held on the sofa during the worst of it. All that trembling and drooling sorta takes from the dignity of his chamber robes.

>> ^oxdottir:
With apologies to Air Supply and I'm all out of love (What am I saying! I loathe air supply!)

I'm cruzing the sift but my thoughts are adrift
pulling my hair till it hurts
There's cheese everywhere, was it cuz of the dare?
there's a wedge on each avatar...
I wish I could bury each post and each song
lactose intolerance brings me so low
would you make me believe that tomorrow could bring
a place where swiss couldn't go?
CHORUS:
I can't take the smell, limburger gags me
you all kept it up, much, oh much too long
I can't take the slock, the pathos, it rags me
you have to admit, you have to say you were wrong!

Kronosposeidon, you are in contempt of court. The bailiff will now escort you to Youtube where you will spend the next 3 hours browsing clips of episodes of Friends and Hannah Montana.

>> ^kronosposeidon:
So I see that little turncoat rottenseed turned state's evidence in return for leniency. No surprise there; what else would you expect from a douche nozzle?
You want me to defend myself because of one cheesy video; one that I had the good sense to kill moments before it would have sifted. You want to know why I did it all? You think you're entitled to know my reasons? Well let me tell YOU something...
You can't handle the truth! Son, we live in a web site that has videos. And those videos have to be guarded by men and women with votes. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Schmawy? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for oxdottir and you curse the Cheese Corps. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that oxdottir's disgust, while tragic, probably saved videos. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves videos...You don't want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on this site. You need me on this site.
We use words like upvote, quality, promote...we use these words as the backbone to a life spent watching something. You use 'em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very videos I promote, then questions the manner in which I promote them! I'd rather you just said thank you, and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you post a cheesy video and vote for a couple of them. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to!
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Can I go now? I gotta pee.

Pee?!?!?

I bet you're sneaking a peak at the Disney Channel. And you want to pick on our tastes in cheese?!?!?!?

Contempt! Dotdude, you are held in contempt of court and are arrested for assault.

Assaulting a Judge with a hunk of cheese is a serious offense and must be dealt with appropriately.

Dotdude, you will now proceed to your published queue where you will test all of your sifted videos for dead links. And while you are doing this, you must listen the following sift in a continuous loop:

http://www.videosift.com/video/The-Final-Countdown-TERRIBLE-COVER

>> ^dotdude:
Tosses a stick of Cheddar AT THE BENCH.

What the hell is going on here? I feel like I just drop in at my friends house unannounced and found them all dressed as clowns studing for their clown finals at Clown College. It's not like I wanna be a clown too or anything, but it would have been nice if they asked... I like to laugh... (*cries and runs out the door sniffling).

>> ^dotdude:



lol... the quote button just threw its hands up in the air and gave up on that one.

I should probably add the more delicious cheese to this list - http://www.videosift.com/playlists/Krupo/Fluffy-Earcandy

@bleedingsnowman, don't you mean clone?

nice stack, rottenseed-you have all that powered together????

guilty! they are all guilty! hang 'em all, I got the rope right here...
*Holds up noose*

(I wonder when the next court session is, this is fun...)

>> ^dotdude:




More of Dotdude's clever dot art.

Its really one of those hidden 3D image pictures. If you stare at the emoticons long enough, and image of Siftbot making a naughty hand gesture appears to come out at you.

(btw nice work on giving him a pair of believable hands)

>> ^mas8705:
(I wonder when the next court session is, this is fun...)


If no one appears tonight to offer more.. I will deliberate tonight (another thunderstorm is coming later) and summon the accused to court tomorrow for sentencing.. uh, I mean the verdict.

If Rotty doesn't start working a deal for Kronos.... lets just keep that noose handy

...(whew), just back from my psychiatric evaluation and good to go. All I had to do was screen the subtle pornography that is http://www.videosift.com/video/Without-You-Harry-Nillsson, and my shrink sobbed at the beauty of it all and declared me fit to stand trial.
I stand by my handiwork, and I would do it again.
Not Guilty.
No remorse, no hope for rehabilitation. Incorrigible. Between Harry Nilsson and Captain and Tenille, I figgered that two strikes anyway. So I post bail, and I'm outta here right?
Jeez, and sorry about the thunderstorm.

Alright, who's got the bowl of nacho dip?!?!?

I plead guilty, and I have no remorse. I'd do it again. So do what you will. Just know this:

You can't win, Swamp. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.
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Mmmm....nachos!

I see your time in the penalty box watching Friends clips has not humbled you in the slightest. I should have given a stiffer punishment... maybe Hee Haw Nights or Cop Rock.

Oh and nachos is like nicorette for the cheese addicted. Everyone knows nachos rarely contains proper cheese.... if this is an attempt to appear reformed in some way..it is in vain.

(off the record.. it is pretty hard to pass up nachos)

He just admit guilt! *hands swampgirl the noose and a wooden stake* use it wisely swampgirl, and make to go for the heart after you strike him down...

(Court is fun when my butt isn't on the line)

>> ^swampgirl:
>> ^mas8705:
(I wonder when the next court session is, this is fun...)


If Rotty doesn't start working a deal for Kronos.... lets just keep that noose handy>>

^kronosposeidon:
I plead guilty, and I have no remorse. I'd do it again. So do what you will. Just know this:
You can't win, Swamp. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.

kronosposeidon: There are far worse punishments than being struck down... ever heard of Guantanamo? The people there are less powerful than you can possibly imagine.

I can't believe you used the Chewbaca Defense...

this is one crazy, *quality post. cheese art is the new black.

... and it looks like i shouldn't have begged for that video... damn revoked star powers.

Oh crap, it looks like I'm one of the worst offenders. I plead, umm, not guilty by reason of temporary insanity! The opportunity was just too gouda to pass up!

gwiz665 had a good defense, but I have discovered new evidence that will blow this case out of the water... I have performed searches for cheese and I discovered something no one else saw, including the Judge!

I present my evidence
http://www.videosift.com/search?q=cheese&t=v&u=swampgirl&o=&vmin=&vmax=&l=&n=&b=&submit=Search

From what we see here, the Judge has ten different counts of Cheese under the search.. and five of these searches have William Shatner! What does this have to do with this case? NOTHING!!!

THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS CASE!!! Why would the judge call William Shatner cheesy five seperate times? Who knows... This isn't making sense... I don't even know where I"m going with this!!! Is William Shatner Cheesey? I would say at times he maybe, but you have to ask your self? Do it make sense that Swampgirl calling William Shatner Cheesey five times? It may not make sense but if it is true that Swampgirl calling William Cheesey five times you must find all the defendants Guilty...

The Prosecution rests...

Also Chewbacca called me the other day and *points finger dramaticly* said that he doesn't live on Endor and was just on vacation! The Chewbacca Defense is no match for the Shatner Prosecution! *takes a bow and Nacho*

Ex post facto laws, which this case seems to be based on, are prohibited by the Constitution of the United States. And also, the constitutions of:

Australia
Canada
Finland
France
Germany
India
Indonesia
Iran
Italy
Ireland
Japan
New Zealand
Norway
Philippines
South Africa
Sweden
Turkey
United Kingdom
United States
The European Union

I guess if Swampy wants to move to Mexico, we can continue. Otherwise, I think the court has to be adjourned.

I call for a mistrial on the count that mas8705 completely obliterated my defense!

Hey Swampy, you think you put enough powder in that wig of yours?

COUGH, COUGH, COUGH, COUGH, COUGH, COUGH, COUGH, COUGH, COUGH, COUGH, COUGH, COUGH, COUGH, COUGH, COUGH, COUGH, COUGH, COUGH, COUGH, COUGH, COUGH, COUGH . . .

Hmm, due to overwhelming evidence, the attitude of the court and accusatory tone towards the judge.. I will deliberate now..

You will be notified when sentencing will commence and summoned by bailiff Schmawy.

Court is in recess


::: goes to hide judges incriminating Shatner evidence:::

everyone please, look at me! i can finally re-declare *quality!

...and rhyme.

wtf. am i missing something, or are 2 power points no longer enough?

The Sift is biased against blogging. There are no quality blog posts I guess.

Where is the verdict!?! I didn't stay up all night blackmailing the judge just to have to wait for a guilty verdict...

"Get crazy with the cheez-wiz, . . . "
-- "Loser" by Beck

*sneaks into the back of the courthouse*

>> ^mas8705:
Where is the verdict!?! I didn't stay up all night blackmailing the judge just to have to wait for a guilty verdict...


!!!

Starting rumors eh? That will get you nowhere buddy! The robes are off until court again.

IF THE CHEESE SIFTS, YOU MUST AQUIT! (everybody, all together...)

Objection! err... nevermind... >< I hope I get to be in the next court session...
>> ^swampgirl:
>> ^mas8705:
Where is the verdict!?! I didn't stay up all night blackmailing the judge just to have to wait for a guilty verdict...

!!!
Starting rumors eh? That will get you nowhere buddy! The robes are off until court again.

>>The robes are off until court again.>>

You sure you want to say that around all us guys - with our very active, vivid and deviant imaginations?

^While we're on the subject of robes...
Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.


As for my supposed "crimes", I deny everything! You have no proof, that picture could easily have been photoshopped.

Since Swampgirl still hasn't given a verdict, I suppose we still have to keep going... *clear throat*

OBJECTION! You haven't look in a mirror lately have you "CHEESEmoo"? Your name has Cheese literally in it, and your avatar is a cow and where does cheese come from!?! Therefore you could have easily have been in cahoots with the defendants, regardless if whether or not it was photoshopped...

>> ^cheesemoo:
^While we're on the subject of robes...
Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
As for my supposed "crimes", I deny everything! You have no proof, that picture could easily have been photoshopped.

OBJECTION! The cow in my avatar is clearly being raised for its meat. As for my name, well, I can't help what my parents named me. I suppose if I had been named "CheezyVideoPoster McCheezowitz", I would already have been blackbagged away to some secret internment camp, all in the name of anti-cheese justice!

Well let me tell you something, mister. My parents DIED fighting in the cheese wars, and I have no intention of repeating their mistakes. I live a cheese-free life, like any good citizen. I have nothing to hide!

”Who told you to put the cheese on? Did I tell you to put the cheese on? I didn't tell you to put the cheese on. You people with the cheese. It never ends…. That's deplorable, unfathomable, improbable!”

I have since fired my attorney and chose to represent myself!

>> ^mas8705:
He just admit guilt! hands swampgirl the noose and a wooden stake use it wisely swampgirl, and make to go for the heart after you strike him down...
(Court is fun when my butt isn't on the line)
>> ^swampgirl:
>> ^mas8705:
(I wonder when the next court session is, this is fun...)

If Rotty doesn't start working a deal for Kronos.... lets just keep that noose handy>>
^kronosposeidon:
I plead guilty, and I have no remorse. I'd do it again. So do what you will. Just know this:
You can't win, Swamp. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.

Zzzzzzzzzzz!

Court is back in session. Unfortunately the Hon. Judge Swampy's cheesy indiscretions have come to light and she has been disbarred.

All charges are dismissed pending each of the accused performing community service by fixing one deadpool video for each offense.

Court is adjourned.

>> ^mas8705:
gwiz665 had a good defense, but I have discovered new evidence that will blow this case out of the water... I have performed searches for cheese and I discovered something no one else saw, including the Judge!
I present my evidence
http://www.v
ideosift.com/search?q=cheese&t=v&u=swampgirl&o=&vmin=&vmax=&l=&n=&b=&submit=Search
From what we see here, the Judge has ten different counts of Cheese under the search.. and five of these searches have William Shatner! What does this have to do with this case? NOTHING!!!
THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS CASE!!! Why would the judge call William Shatner cheesy five seperate times? Who knows... This isn't making sense... I don't even know where I"m going with this!!! Is William Shatner Cheesey? I would say at times he maybe, but you have to ask your self? Do it make sense that Swampgirl calling William Shatner Cheesey five times? It may not make sense but if it is true that Swampgirl calling William Cheesey five times you must find all the defendants Guilty...
The Prosecution rests...
Also Chewbacca called me the other day and points finger dramaticly said that he doesn't live on Endor and was just on vacation! The Chewbacca Defense is no match for the Shatner Prosecution! takes a bow and Nacho

Zzzzzz...

*gently shakes ant in the empty courtroom* Aaant. Wake uuup. Court's over.

>> ^schmawy:
gently shakes ant in the empty courtroom Aaant. Wake uuup. Court's over.


Huh? Oh crap. [leaves]

Excellent - everything is progressing as I have foreseen. Soon my cheese clones will be ready.

>> ^jonny:
Excellent - everything is progressing as I have foreseen. Soon my cheese clones will be ready.


Attack of the Cheese!

*promote

Promoting this Blog post - promote requested by dotdude.

The attack will come from the sides, yogurt is a cousin of the Liberalactosation Army!