GourmetEmu Exposed! 100 star untouchable does not one make.
PHOTO
[Edit: that was the picture I made but I may not be able to post it]
I will admit I am not the frequenter of the site that the rest of you or Mr. Emu is. It is a burden I must carry, well with others, but for the sake of argument: alone. However I do have one advantage in that while Mr Emu is a man who keeps his face away from the internet public I do know him in person, and I feel obliged to share the personal information that he so lamely tries to keep his own.
1) He has managed to lock himself in a dog cage at ages 3, 7 and 15. One might ask why? Possible answers: attention whore or f*cking stupid.
2) The man started his "career" as a marketing and advertising rep for a Blind and Window treatment company. While he might be quick to point on his "successful" movie PA career the man once could name 20 different shades of red. Also btw you PA'd on TDK, you didn't make it. It's not a personal slight when the movie gets shafted come awards season. Oh has he mentioned he worked on that yet? No? Count yourself lucky since he manages to work that into every other conversation he has.
3) I'm glad you enjoy the city of angels but the rest of us have -15 degree weather. Stop complaining about it hitting 90 when it was a chilly 55 in the morning or I swear to God I will punch you in your surprisingly accurate avatar teeth.
4) If you take a gander at his PQ you'll see Mr. Emu (or Paul <gasp> as his first name is!) spends most of his time laughing at cartoons we've all seen, commercials he's too lazy to forward the DVR past (seriously stop that) and clips where he thinks that having a serious WTF moment is the same as being funny. It's not. Stop trying to make like it is.
5) You sir are a fine gentleman and everyone should know it. I don't know why we rarely end up living in the same place, but that needs to stop. It's always pleasure to see you but know this one day I'm going to be the one who pushes you over the edge and wipes that constant smirk off your face but until then keep going because, seriously, I want to be the one.
For everyone else: it's not hard to take him down a notch. Just think of your most awkward social moment and say it out loud, because he's probably done it...today...and will tell you about it...again.
</gasp>
[Edit: that was the picture I made but I may not be able to post it]
I will admit I am not the frequenter of the site that the rest of you or Mr. Emu is. It is a burden I must carry, well with others, but for the sake of argument: alone. However I do have one advantage in that while Mr Emu is a man who keeps his face away from the internet public I do know him in person, and I feel obliged to share the personal information that he so lamely tries to keep his own.
1) He has managed to lock himself in a dog cage at ages 3, 7 and 15. One might ask why? Possible answers: attention whore or f*cking stupid.
2) The man started his "career" as a marketing and advertising rep for a Blind and Window treatment company. While he might be quick to point on his "successful" movie PA career the man once could name 20 different shades of red. Also btw you PA'd on TDK, you didn't make it. It's not a personal slight when the movie gets shafted come awards season. Oh has he mentioned he worked on that yet? No? Count yourself lucky since he manages to work that into every other conversation he has.
3) I'm glad you enjoy the city of angels but the rest of us have -15 degree weather. Stop complaining about it hitting 90 when it was a chilly 55 in the morning or I swear to God I will punch you in your surprisingly accurate avatar teeth.
4) If you take a gander at his PQ you'll see Mr. Emu (or Paul <gasp> as his first name is!) spends most of his time laughing at cartoons we've all seen, commercials he's too lazy to forward the DVR past (seriously stop that) and clips where he thinks that having a serious WTF moment is the same as being funny. It's not. Stop trying to make like it is.
5) You sir are a fine gentleman and everyone should know it. I don't know why we rarely end up living in the same place, but that needs to stop. It's always pleasure to see you but know this one day I'm going to be the one who pushes you over the edge and wipes that constant smirk off your face but until then keep going because, seriously, I want to be the one.
For everyone else: it's not hard to take him down a notch. Just think of your most awkward social moment and say it out loud, because he's probably done it...today...and will tell you about it...again.
26 Comments
scotty says...Here's where you'd go to give him his unwarranted validation.
IssykittyCongratulations, GourmetEmu! Mrow!
What sound does an Emu make?
EDD^ I'm not sure, but I do know he is one twisted individual:
http://www.videosift.com/video/Masturbation-Defeats-Evil-Yet-Again
Congratulations, delicious bird dish!
EDDSeriously, how and where he finds such deliciously f*cked-up $417, is beyond me.
OrnthoronGold-100 is where it's at! Looking forward to you promoting all my vids!
Congratulations!
NicoleBeeWow! You're rocketing to the top.
And your unmoving mummified body is still inhabiting the lounge, like a monument to your triumphs.
dagComment hidden because you are ignoring dag. (show it anyway)
What a lovely tribute. I like the spirit you bring Scotty. *quality - and thanks for your contributions to the Sift Mr. Emu.
siftbotAwarding scotty with one star point for this contribution to Sift Talk - declared quality by dag.
gwiz665I don't think he has time to receive our praise, he's too busy idling in the lounge
Congrats emu! Don't stick your head in the ground.
rasch187Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious achievement. Congrats!
K0MMIEhooray
rottenseedhow come scotty and gourmetemu are never in the same place at the same time? Either one of them raped the other or they are the same person!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
mintbbbNice! Congrats! =)
lauraThanks for your wit and vids, good sir. Congratulations on this achievement...nice to have you here!
kulpimsI think rottenseed got it right, for once. a man who gets himself locked in a dog cage three times is bound to dabble in sock-puppetry. this "scotty" fellow is so obviously a dupe as he is *gay (it was the three paragraph <gasp> that gave you away</gasp>)
and congo rats for gourmet emu. lots of them
kronosposeidonA very nice tribute, scotty. Congrats Monsieur Gourmet!
dotdudeIs this supposed to be a roast?
Well anyway, great going GourmetEmu.
maatcNice work. Congrats.
... better leave before I get too emutional
dystopianfuturetodayConscrabulayshons!
blankfistMajor congrats, gourmetemu! I've never had emu before. I can't wait to see how you are prepared.
burdturglerCongrats !!
and great write up scotty!
MrFiskCool.
EklekI hereby stick some awesome luvcruft with you!:)))
Let's celebrate, get your siftbot shaped white sandwich ready..
KevlarCongremulations!
Zonbiewell done - the sift needs more upper crust emus!
congrats - keep posting
Krupo>> ^Eklek:
I hereby stick some awesome luvcruft with you!:)))
Let's celebrate, get your siftbot shaped white sandwich ready..
You know you want some. http://www.videosift.com/video/From-Asia-with-Love-Choco-Fountain-Sugar-Bunnies
Congrats!
Your shipment of Real Whopper Virgins is on its way too.
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