It's 4:40 in the morning.... do you know if YOUR car alarm is going off? [MAJOR UPDATE]
Well, it's 4:404:55 5:10 5:20 in the fucking morning here and there's a car alarm going off in my apartment complex's parking lot. It started since at least the first time I looked at the clock at 4:40 and has been going off in 30 second intervals.
At first I rejoiced at the intermittent silence - but then it soon started to wear on me. I had dreams of shooting the hood a few times in hopes of hitting the battery. Then I decided that was not such a smart idea. Then I wanted to bust a window down so I could open the hood and unhook the battery. Also not a good idea if the police show up.
So I just called the police. at 5:10. It's now 5:25. When I was down there, I found the offending vehicle, which only pissed me off even more. It's a piece of shit 90-something "pimped" out civic with sun-bleached paint spots all over the car and a smashed-in bumper. To make things worse, the driver's window is rolled down, so it wouldn't take much to open the hood and unhook the battery, but I didn't have tools in my car, and since the police could show up at any second, I's best not be messing around in there.
Did I mention that I have to work at 8:00 this morning?
5:29...
I have thoughts of moving my car (it's parked right next to it) so if someone starts to bash the offending vehicle, they don't mistake it for mine.
5:37...
[UPDATE]
6:10 - YES! The bastard's battery has died! The horn struggles to sip every last watt of power from the tired battery and ultimately fails. What results is best described as a synthesized grinding noise.
about 6:15 rolls around and there comes a loud banging on my door. It's an Officer with the Tempe police department asking me to come down and take a look and see if it's my vehicle. I said that it's not; my alarm is just a intermittent honking noise. The one going off was a British police car-sounding chirping. But I agree to go down there anyway.
As I get down there, I attempt to turn my car's lights on with the remote to show that my car's battery works, as the offending vehicle's battery was dead.
When my my lights don't turn on, I think that my remote's battery is just dying. It's been on the fritz lately. The officer points to my front-right wheel, and says the noise is coming from there. I put my head to it, and sure enough, it was.
So I manually unlock my car door, insert the key and turn it. The noise of a dead batter which I had celebrated not five minutes earlier ceased to be; it instantly turned to embarrassment, shame, self loathing and anger.
If I would have known that my car was even capable of emitting that ear-splitting noise, I would have made some attempt at shutting it off an hour and a half earlier. I wouldn't have woken up three hours early, I wouldn't have a dead battery, I wouldn't have to call a towing service to jump start my car, I would be $65 richer, and I wouldn't feel like an absolute idiot for the next month.
At first I rejoiced at the intermittent silence - but then it soon started to wear on me. I had dreams of shooting the hood a few times in hopes of hitting the battery. Then I decided that was not such a smart idea. Then I wanted to bust a window down so I could open the hood and unhook the battery. Also not a good idea if the police show up.
So I just called the police. at 5:10. It's now 5:25. When I was down there, I found the offending vehicle, which only pissed me off even more. It's a piece of shit 90-something "pimped" out civic with sun-bleached paint spots all over the car and a smashed-in bumper. To make things worse, the driver's window is rolled down, so it wouldn't take much to open the hood and unhook the battery, but I didn't have tools in my car, and since the police could show up at any second, I's best not be messing around in there.
Did I mention that I have to work at 8:00 this morning?
5:29...
I have thoughts of moving my car (it's parked right next to it) so if someone starts to bash the offending vehicle, they don't mistake it for mine.
5:37...
[UPDATE]
6:10 - YES! The bastard's battery has died! The horn struggles to sip every last watt of power from the tired battery and ultimately fails. What results is best described as a synthesized grinding noise.
about 6:15 rolls around and there comes a loud banging on my door. It's an Officer with the Tempe police department asking me to come down and take a look and see if it's my vehicle. I said that it's not; my alarm is just a intermittent honking noise. The one going off was a British police car-sounding chirping. But I agree to go down there anyway.
As I get down there, I attempt to turn my car's lights on with the remote to show that my car's battery works, as the offending vehicle's battery was dead.
When my my lights don't turn on, I think that my remote's battery is just dying. It's been on the fritz lately. The officer points to my front-right wheel, and says the noise is coming from there. I put my head to it, and sure enough, it was.
So I manually unlock my car door, insert the key and turn it. The noise of a dead batter which I had celebrated not five minutes earlier ceased to be; it instantly turned to embarrassment, shame, self loathing and anger.
If I would have known that my car was even capable of emitting that ear-splitting noise, I would have made some attempt at shutting it off an hour and a half earlier. I wouldn't have woken up three hours early, I wouldn't have a dead battery, I wouldn't have to call a towing service to jump start my car, I would be $65 richer, and I wouldn't feel like an absolute idiot for the next month.
25 Comments
gwiz665Ah that sucks man. We have a bunch of buildings with alarms around here too and they go off if you look at them funny. Luckily I sleep like a rock.
Leave a note on the front seat, can't hurt.
rougy"I had dreams of shooting the hood a few times in hopes of hitting the battery."
I guess "hope" is the operative word.
Was the hood on the side of a barn door?
No, seriously, you didn't kill anyone with your bare hands, MG.
Good on ya! It's a win!
"It's a piece of shit 90-something "pimped" out civic with sun-bleached paint spots all over the car and a smashed-in bumper.
Damned Homer Simpson! Why? Why?!!!!!
Farhad2000We used to throw bricks trying to hit cars.
jonnyclose your bedroom window?
rasch187hahahahahahahaha
direpickleOh man, Marine. I feel for you man, but that is just beautiful.
alien_conceptDipshit alert
eric3579That just made my day! This could well be the greatest story ever told. Well maybe not the greatest, but damn good. Be thankful you didn't get tazed, beaten or shot. Thanks for sharing.
cdominusWhen you need sleep, 45 minutes waiting for the police is unacceptable. I had a buddy whose neighbors were playing loud music way past bedtime. He called the police and they said they'd send a deputy out. An hour goes by and his kid can't sleep and neither can he so he calls again. The dispatcher says, "We're really busy and we'll be out as soon as we can." My buddy says, "Fine, I'll handle it myself!!!" he heard the dispatcher say "WAIT!" right before he hung up on her. The cops were there in 5 minutes.
dystopianfuturetoday*schadenfreude
guessandcheckhad something similar happen to me. horn kept going off for about 15 minutes while i was trying to record a guitar part. by the time i got fed up and went out there i found a newer Bronco in flames. eventually the battery blew up and stopped the racket, so i opened my blinds and recorded the song while watching my neighbors ride get torched.
MarineGunrockI called the Volvo dealership and spoke to a salesman - he said he's never heard of the siren-noise that I described - and apparently neither has the internet.
KevlarWow. I feel for ya, Gunny. But that's a damn fine story for the rest of us who didn't have to live through it.
KrupoDamn that sucks - and is wicked-weird you had that noise. Did you buy the car new or used?
If used, then one of the other owners probably inserted the stupid?
Either that or if you have gearhead friends who pull incredibly elaborate pranks.
Thanks for sharing though - crazy story!
gwiz665So, I think this is a situation where the following is in order..
*huuuuug*
spoco2Is your car second hand? ie. Is it possible the alarm is an aftermarket addition to your car?
Oh, and on a late night/early morning noise thing. We had some neighbours across the street having a party so loud that at 3am in our bedroom it was like we were AT the party.
So my wife looked up the number for the local police station and called them in regards to the noise. The officer on the other end said "Why didn't you call 000?" (Our version of 911)... To which she said "Um, because that's for emergencies only" and he grumbled and moaned and bitched a whole lot before saying they would do anything... And I'm still not sure they did, the party may have stopped on its own.
My wife's sister works in the 000 call center here in Melbourne and so we hear the ridiculous things people call 000 about and what a waste of time it is (they HAVE to send an ambulance out no matter how puny the problem is, because if they don't and something did happen and that person died or became more sick they would be libel)... really, some people have no clue.
But, back to you and your annoying car.
Um
he he.
MarineGunrockI did buy it used - but there is no secondary alarm system that I know of - I would have went off by now. Besides, as far as I know, it's not possible to install a secondary alarm on the car. I can't even get people to touch it to put a car starter on it.
If you so much as tinker with the electrical system, the computer shuts off to prevent theft. It then has to be towed to a dealership to be reset. (That's my understanding, anyway.)
Krupo>> ^spoco2:
they would be libel)... really, some people have no clue.
Liable...
thegrimsleeperWahahahahahahahaha
Wow, that is the funniest thing I've read so far this year.
NordlichReiter>> ^MarineGunrock:< br />I did buy it used - but there is no secondary alarm system that I know of - I would have went off by now. Besides, as far as I know, it's not possible to install a secondary alarm on the car. I can't even get people to touch it to put a car starter on it.
If you so much as tinker with the electrical system, the computer shuts off to prevent theft. It then has to be towed to a dealership to be reset. (That's my understanding, anyway.)
Kill switch technology. One of the main reasons you take your car to a "certified" radio technician to change the radio.
I personally would relish seeing some wanker trying to steal my car, and then get in and try to drive it while the starter doesn't even turn!
swampgirlThose things aren't very effective in keeping a car safe. Look how many people ignore them?
I feel bad for ya, but that is a funny story.
rottenseed>> ^thegrimsleeper:
Wahahahahahahahaha
Wow, that is the funniest thing I've read so far this year.
Oh, good...I see the "Hooked on Phonics" I bought you for Christmas is being put to good use.
drattus>> ^NordlichReiter:
>Kill switch technology. One of the main reasons you take your car to a "certified" radio technician to change the radio.
That's one thing I absolutely hate these days. My first car I could do anything on and actually did most of it, changed starters, distributors, pretty much anything that went wrong on it and I knew it inside and out. These days unless you've got $100,000 worth of equipment in your garage you can't do much more than change the oil and they'll find a way to make us need an expert for that too I'm sure.
Right up there with designed obsolescence for the things I hate the most about modern business.
Great story MGR, it's cool that you've got the humor to post about it. It was worth a laugh for me and I few others as well I'd imagine.
joedirtYou should have smashed the window!
I still am not sure why you couldn't identify the offending car?! Usually the lights flash as well.
Also, why couldn't you use jumper cables? I'm guessing your neighbors hate you too much to offer assistance.
MarineGunrock1)No cables
2)Don't know neighbors
3)It was 730 on a Sunday morning.
And no, there were no lights.
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