*sticky

Invocations (sticky) cannot be called by thinker247 because thinker247 is not privileged - sorry.

Ain't that a bitch. Siftbot, you can go fuck yourself, you Johnny-5 wannabe.

*sticky

Stickying this post at the top of Sift Talk - sticky requested by dystopianfuturetoday.

Who's your daddy? >> ^siftbot:

Stickying this post at the top of Sift Talk - sticky requested by dystopianfuturetoday.

Your Roast Study Guide is here:

http://wtf.videosift.com/talk/Roast-Interview-for-MrFisk

*unsticky

Unstickying this post from the top of Sift Talk - unsticky requested by rottenseed.

*sticky

Stickying this post at the top of Sift Talk - sticky requested by rottenseed.

just flaunting my power...ahhh feels nice.

think, kulpims, think. I have to say something funny now ... ah, fuck it. I'll go smoke a joint instead. bbl

Funny commencing in 5.. 4.. 3.. 2..

First of all, let me start off by saying that was a horrible interview. Tinkerbell247 was obviously just trying to be clever and in doing so blew any chance at having a simple cheat sheet we could use to bash Fister Misk. I can't do anything with that shit.

I don't have much to say about MrFisk other than he was banned like a sissy. Real men stand up and say they want a permanent ban rather than come back to this shit-hole of pansies. During his siftquisition he floundered and pointed fingers like a little bitch. I'm beginning to wonder that the "Mr" in his name is a typo.

Anyway, that's enough for me to get on the list for the next roast right? Hopefully we'll roast somebody that matters.

A surveillance tape was obtained from MrFisk's porn store:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WauTgBdpI9w

Wow, had to scroll past 15 stupid "sticky" related comments before getting to the roast. Off to a good start.

nah, still nothing. reading Mr.Fisk's so called articles on - well, mainly drugs. seems his employment at Daily Nebraskan depends on him being a washed up chess-playing pants-pissing stoner. we're so much alike, Mr.Fisk, that I can't find a bad thing about you. this roast ruined my funny

It must be difficult to smear such a likable guy. Someone, get turdgurgler a shot of bourbon! Where has that snowflake been, anyways. That motel rendezvous on the Rio Grande with blankfist must have been a bad idea. I'd expect a Nebraska map with a bulls-eye on it if this place wasn't so overrun by pussy-whipped liberals. What were you expecting, a bunch of IT guys drinking soda pop, playing World of Warcraft, and watching the Daily Show while they wait for their parents to go to bed is not funny. It's pathetic.

If you join in the Roast (comments, zingers, put-downs, insults, etc.), you understand the following:

• Your name goes into the roast pool for future roasts

• The roastee (in this case, MrFisk) is allowed return fire at the end of the proceedings

THE JESTER

unfortunately, i live a few minutes away from this dickbags relatives. they all gorged themselves onetime at this fatty fuck sandwich place behind my rubbin' shop. afterwards, mr. fist strode into my place like some suave motherfucker with a righteous a 'fro, carrying a hemingway novel... what a fucking asshole. all the girls at my rubbin' shop did a few double takes. then we went back to my rented room, one of us got naked and the other got to work. afterwards we smoked cigarettes and stuttered. then i hugged the shit out of his precious fucking aunt. i hit on her and copped a feel.

i learned a few things about mr. fists body that day. he almost got cut in half one time, apparently his brain was trying to get as far away from his venerally infested crotch as possible. unfortunately, medical science sewed him back together. so now we all have to be subjected to this hideous roast of this death defying scum bag with the sexy aunt, hosted by that miserable failure, twatbag247.

i quit.

Dance clubs in Nebraska on a Monday night during a blizzard are more happening than this *fail.

Adding post to channels (Fail) - requested by MrFisk.

How can I show my love for MrFisk with an equivalently great inslut? (typos...I of course meant "insult")
...well, I'd like to show my love by taking the time to go back and find my favorite of his comments, from the standpoint of "totally out-of-context":
"Fake, because you only need 5 lit candles to fuck a carrot."

...also, MrFisk is great because he never hesitates to share with us precious nuggets of wisdom he learns from experience:
"Alcohol, cocaine, and anal eze are the prime ingredients to deflowering an asshole."

The sunburn I got today is hotter than this roast. You'd think that after all the years you've frittered away on this piece of crap site, that at least some of you could manage to say something at least mildly amusing or offensive.

No. Instead, I have to wade through the inane ramblings of wanker247, ritalinseed, dyslexicfuckbagtomorrow, dotdouche, kumpiss, blankfist, and begging4it, before I get to laura, who doesn't seem capable of even making an incendiary remark.

I see now that the intricacies of a roast are lost on plebians such as yourselves. At this point perhaps you want to remind me that I'm supposed to roast Mrs Fiks or whatever-the-fuck her name is. DON'T. GIVE. A FUCK.

I'm so disappointed that I'm going to go masturbate over my home-made photoshopped pictures of dag and lucky being anally violated by siftbot until my foreskin bleeds.

Now step aside, assholes!

Perhaps we should have roasted a chicken first.
>> ^MrFisk:

I doubt most of you could roast a chicken, let alone me.

First things first, anal leakages of VideoShit. My name is thinker247, which means that I don't take time off from thinking, even when I'm sleeping. And in my sleep I could roast all of you like the testicle-kabobs that you are.

I told you motherfuckers to keep Blankfist away from the children, and now he's balls-deep in the kids and religion channels. Soon he'll be strutting around, preaching the virtues of anal deflowering as a method of salvation. Just like Oprah.

BeggedmetoPeeonher tells a yawn-inducing story worthy of some podunk Arkansas town's ratty news dish, and we're all supposed to fawn over it like Perez Hilton falling into punji stakes made of cocks.

The "Jester" pops his head in to make some serious announcement that he's made a million times, without even saying a word in jest. Hey Jester, you're as funny as rottenseed is relevant.

Speaking of rotten.cum, his appearance was as necessary as ovarian cancer and not nearly as comical. He couldn't buy a joke if he was Carlos Mencia. But enough of Flavor Flav's oreo baby...

It's time to fuck MrFisk. And unlike your dad, I'm not going to use a condom and I don't care if you tell your mom.

Where to begin with someone whose career hasn't begun? Seriously, of all your articles that I never read, they were terrible. And why pick the Nebraska paper? It's not like any of you can read more than the E at the top of the eye test. And that's only because you all guess.

Some of the fellow sifters mocked your employment at a porn shop, but it doesn't bother me that you were a blow-up sex doll. I just don't understand how you could stand having random semen forced into you every day. You had more douchebags grabbing your vinyl than a hipster music store.

I would write more, but I'm kind of bored...like anyone in Nebraska at any given time of the year.

Also, everyone at this roast has disappointed me. Except for thinker247. What a comedy stud. All of you should take a lesson from him. Seriously, give me money, assholes. I'm the king and I get this kind of worthless response? MrFisk, I'm sorry you had to be here for this. Mainly because there's a cow with a broken heart and an intact rectum, somewhere in Omaha.

Fuck you all.

Mr Fisk is an unkempt layabout that smells of vinegar and rotten eggs.

>> ^thinker247:
It's time to fuck MrFisk. And unlike your dad, I'm not going to use a condom and I don't care if you tell your mom

We all no the only time you put on a glove is to make half-assed sandwiches for patrons of the hole-in-the-wall deli you work in.

I know we joke that every roast is lame, and we all have a good laugh pretending the roastee is someone not deserving of notice, and so on. We then take pot shots at the MC, make a good joke about him or her and how they fucked the proceedings up somehow, but... Sigh. Today I'm just feeling like this really, truly, honestly is NOT worth our time. No jokes. Completely serious now.

Would any of us care if @thinker247 or @MrFisk got banned tomorrow? Or left? Or died? Okay, if they died I'd probably at least feign a touch of sympathy, but it would be disingenuous if it was anything more than a sigh. I wouldn't trade @rottenseed's shit covered dick from @berticus' ass to save their lives. What two miserable subhuman beings. I mean they're really the crust of peggedbea's vagina. Speaking of @peggedbea's vagina, it's seen so many dicks the cum has clotted over and it's already started to heal shut.

Today I'd like to propose we kill this SiftTalk post right here and now. I'd ask permission from @dotdude first, seeing how he's kind of the unsaid facilitator of these shit shenanigans, but he's too busy posting mild, inoffensive oneliners under the alter-ego 'THE JESTER'. Newsflash, dotdude, jesters are typically amusing and at times hilarious. You're none of these.

The real reason I hate these two is because, first, thinker247's name is so telling of just how lame a person he must be in real life. It's like me calling myself movieDirector#1 or superDickSized. Or rottenseed calling himself notGay. And this third grader thinks he's edgy because he wrote "motherfucking" and "bitches" in the title. Hey, dickhead, this roast isn't about you.

Second, there's the roastee, MrFisk. A person so miserable and unlikable that only choggie could come to his defense during his Siftquisition. That's like having Jared Lee Loughner represent you in a murder trial. What a joke that whole Siftquistion was, huh? And I love how @dag and @kronosposeidon became the busybody Perry fucking Masons of the Sift as if calling those SiftTalk posts a "Siftquisition" made them anything more than a discussion thread on a website that plays videos. My favorite is when dag claimed he had "something else to enter into the docket" and "Department of HomeSift Security." The fuck? There's about as much credibility in a Siftquisition as there would be if @kulpims claimed he wasn't gobbling @dystopianfuturetoday's dick. Or was that @laura's dick? Either way, they're both effeminate dudes.

So who's with me? Who thinks we ought to kill this embarrassing navel-gazing jerkfest and pretend it never happened. While we're at it, let's finish what we started and *ban these two for trying so hard to be cool and outrageous. Sorry, thinker247 and MrFisk, did mommy not give you two enough of her tit to suck on when you were a baby? You still need approval and acceptance? I hear 4chan is looking for a few more whores for their ranks.

thinker247 cannot be banned because star accounts are immune to banination - ignoring ban request by blankfist.

Please do not leave fires unattended – this includes nano ones.

Additional Roast Resources:

The Self Interviews

http://happy.videosift.com/talk/The-Great-VideoSift-Coming-Out-Thread?loadcomm=1#comment-543132

http://videosift.com/poll/What-level-of-education-do-you-have?loadcomm=1#comment-888032

MrFisk gets to 500, surrounded by Controversy
http://controversy.videosift.com/talk/MrFisk-gets-to-500-surrounded-by-controversy?loadcomm=1#comment-899908

MrFisk Comments
http://videosift.com/search?q=&t=c&u=mrfisk&o&vmin&vmax&sh&l&n&b&submit=Search&pg=1

Its been a while since I roasted someone, so I maybe a bit rusty...

You know something, that hasn't been talked of yet is the channel that Mr. Fisk is in charged of, Controversy...

We all know that Mr. Fisk can be off his rocker at times, but what drives a man to be in charge of something like controversy? From what we can deciper from what Mr. Dotdude shared, I picked some of my favorite quotes from his 500 acceptance speech...

1) And to think, I was nearly permanently banned my first month here:
Meaning that this guy shouldn't be here in the first place? Not even one month on videosift and people were already trying to get rid of this guy... I mean seriously, compared to what he has gone through when he first started, this roast is pretty much a cakewalk...

2) Next up, I'd like to thank the rest of y'all suave mofos, for watching, upvoting, and appreciating my twisted sense of humor. And finally, I'd like to thank myself. It wasn't as easy as I made it look, pinpointing the greatest underground rap videos (often foregoing the luxury of thumbnails), locating full episodes and movies (the internet is public domain, so far as I'm concerned), posting political videos that I disagreed with but refused to ignore (how many did I take from you, qm and billo?), and of course, the controversy:
Can you believe that this was only three sentences? Besides writing an extra long sentence at the end that a grammar teacher would frown on (not like I have anything going myself with my three periods...), He acknowledge people as "Suave Mofos." Congrats people, when he hit 500 he complimented and insulted you at the same time and not many people can do that... He then goes off by saying reasons why he should have been banned, by confessing how he uses Licensed Underground Rap videos, full episodes and movies, political videos that discredit people, "and of course, the controversy." How is this man Ranked 39!?! He admitted that he lied, cheated, and stoled to get to where he is today!

3) What I found (Videosift), was a galaxy of videos, which have entertained, educated, appalled, and bored the fuck out of me:
I love how he puts "bored the fuck out of me" at the end since this indicates that while he was, "entertained, and educated" he was really "appalled" by videos he has seen and overall bored of what some people attempt to post... Mr. Fisk is saying that doesn't like you or the videos that you post people... Only a few things amuse him, but overall, he just, BORED!

4) Yes, I've been controversial in the past, it's in my blood, you see? But I think the community, as a whole, is able to realize that I'm more of a civil-siftdisobedient than an outright siftarchist. I'm delighted to earn this meaningless achievement:
And we reach the end where he finishes his confession. He is a controversial man, he enriches his heritage of causing problems for other and is a disobedient troublemaker who embraced a honor by saying it is meaningless... Truly you are someone who sets a good example... An example of how to be an evil mastermind trying to throw people off by confusing and angering others...

O and did I forget to mention that he I peddles cigarettes and booze for a living... I went ahead to look up the definition of peddle and here it is...

ped·dle/ˈpedl/Verb
1. Try to sell (something, esp. small goods) by going from house to house or place to place.
2. Sell (an illegal drug or stolen item).

That's right people, he sells illegal cigarettes and booze from place to place!! You make me sick and I hope to get in on that action once you are found and brought to justice... Keep up the good work so that when you are finally arrested, you will have so much evidence against you even your lawyer will try and find you guilty... Thank you!

((In all seriousness though, Mr. Fisk, keep up the great job, the videos you find are great to watch and if you haven't posted the controversy channel, videosift still be brainwashed moron with no direction to go... Thank you and I hope you didn't get offended, but then again that is how roasts works right?))

Most ebooks have chapter breaks, mas.

It takes a certain kind of man to be a Nebraskan: Namely one who can maintain a BAC of at least .22 at all waking moments. A sufficient dose of meth may be an adequate substitute if alcohol is not readily available. Anyone unable to adhere to these rigid standards of Nebraska life may ultimately realize he lives in Nebraska and kill himself or flee to a less boring state (I hear experts are predicting Iowans will invent the written word in the near future).

This necessary drunken state explains why our roastee, @MrFisk, thinks Nebraska is the "bull's eye" of the continental US: he can't see straight. Though I suppose even if you were sober in Nebraska, your vision would be blurred by the constant flood of tears, stemming from the certain knowledge that, yes, you are in Nebraska. Even Larry the Fucking Cable Guy was smart enough to run into Kansas City, MO and start calling radio stations, pretending to be a southerner. Apparently that's a celebrity career for a Nebraskan.

I can't be bothered to work this into a joke but, in Nebraska it's illegal for someone with venereal disease to marry. Apparently everyone is tired of them pushing their syphilitic agenda.

Is NE still fighting WW2? Don't they know all the other backwoods flyover states have moved on to fighting the homosexual threat?

So this is the roast? Sorry I'm late, but it doesn't seem like I missed much. @thinker247 tried to give us some material with that interview, but it seems he botched it thoroughly since nobody uses it. And MrFish didn't exactly help out with his uninspired answers. The only funny comment I've seen here was @blankfist's (You have no idea how much it pains me to admit that), and he had to go back as far as a siftquisition almost 3 years back to find worthwhile material.

But I'm not one to shirk from responsibility, so I'll try to wring some lemming juice out of this brothel floor cleaning rag of an interview:

"4. What is your profession?
I’m a non-traditional student. Non-traditional means older (I put Van Wilder to shame). I will graduate with a bachelor’s degree in journalism from the University of Nebraska-Lincoln at the end of the year. I plan to write good stuff somewhere, although I may go into public relations first.
I’m also a bartender, although I was laid off last month. I’ve worked in a dance club and a nice hotel.
I used to be a cook."

I've seen MrFish's type at my university. There are basically two types who pursue bachelor degrees after they've turned 30. One type is the eternal slacker, who gets too distracted by alcohol, drugs or video games to pass any courses, and the other type is the men and women with a mid-life crisis. This latter group typically choose some useless subject that "expands their horizon", like art history or philosophy.

I'm torn as to what group MrFish might belong to. His history of being laid off from low-tier jobs suggests the former, but journalism is a field that reeks of pretentiousness, so I think I have to go with the latter category. I know of no other people that overvalue there own importance as much as journalists. You really think you can do a difference in the world from Nebraska? With merely a bachelor degree? You could at least have chosen something useful for the children of tomorrow, like molecular biology or condensed matter physics. But of course, achieving even a bachelor degree in those subjects requires both hard work and intelligence.

You'll likely now try to prove you have both these qualities by using unnecessary long time to write a long and poignant retort to all the half-insults in this roast. This, you tell yourself, will show everyone how good you are with words and why you were destined from the start to become a Daily Nebraskan contributor. What you don't realize is that nobody else really cares, and that what you will come to consider the epitome of your oevre will likely only be read by yourself.

>> ^Ornthoron:

The only funny comment I've seen here was blankfist's


Par for the course.

MrFisk certainly has put an indelible mark on VideoSift. Fortunately he did not use urine.

He’s never shy about patting himself on the back. At the rate he’s going he’ll break something besides his spine.

Did that two-week boner cause some brain damage? There’s some money riding on MrFisk’s answer.

Developing a Tolerance for Porn . . . Now, there’s a book title!

Nebraska is easy, cheap, obese and family friendly. Um, public relations might not be for MrFisk. Or did he mispell “pubic”?

I’m not quite sure where “write what you know” would get him.

Not one of MrFisk’s addictions has killed him, maimed him, incarcerated him or tied him down. He’s free to be free. He’s a survivor.

Some of MrFisk’s detractors would gladly BANksy him again or ask him to exit through the (VideoSift) gift shop.

Sheeeeeeeeeit.

>> ^Ornthoron:

So this is the roast? Sorry I'm late, but it doesn't seem like I missed much. @<a rel="nofollow" href="http://wtf.videosift.com/member/thinker247" title="member since September 15th, 2007" class="profilelink">thinker247 tried to give us some material with that interview, but it seems he botched it thoroughly since nobody uses it. And MrFish didn't exactly help out with his uninspired answers. The only funny comment I've seen here was @<a rel="nofollow" href="http://troll.videosift.com" title="member since July 4th, 2007" class="profilelink"><strong style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">blankfist's (You have no idea how much it pains me to admit that), and he had to go back as far as a siftquisition almost 3 years back to find worthwhile material.
But I'm not one to shirk from responsibility, so I'll try to wring some lemming juice out of this brothel floor cleaning rag of an interview:
"4. What is your profession?
I’m a non-traditional student. Non-traditional means older (I put Van Wilder to shame). I will graduate with a bachelor’s degree in journalism from the University of Nebraska-Lincoln at the end of the year. I plan to write good stuff somewhere, although I may go into public relations first.
I’m also a bartender, although I was laid off last month. I’ve worked in a dance club and a nice hotel.
I used to be a cook."
I've seen MrFish's type at my university. There are basically two types who pursue bachelor degrees after they've turned 30. One type is the eternal slacker, who gets too distracted by alcohol, drugs or video games to pass any courses, and the other type is the men and women with a mid-life crisis. This latter group typically choose some useless subject that "expands their horizon", like art history or philosophy.
I'm torn as to what group MrFish might belong to. His history of being laid off from low-tier jobs suggests the former, but journalism is a field that reeks of pretentiousness, so I think I have to go with the latter category. I know of no other people that overvalue there own importance as much as journalists. You really think you can do a difference in the world from Nebraska? With merely a bachelor degree? You could at least have chosen something useful for the children of tomorrow, like molecular biology or condensed matter physics. But of course, achieving even a bachelor degree in those subjects requires both hard work and intelligence.
You'll likely now try to prove you have both these qualities by using unnecessary long time to write a long and poignant retort to all the half-insults in this roast. This, you tell yourself, will show everyone how good you are with words and why you were destined from the start to become a Daily Nebraskan contributor. What you don't realize is that nobody else really cares, and that what you will come to consider the epitome of your oevre will likely only be read by yourself.

"No ma, Yeller's my dog. I'll do it."

Blankfist, can I see you out back for a minute?

So when is this turd going to sink?

*unsticky

Unstickying this post from the top of Sift Talk - unsticky requested by dystopianfuturetoday.

Since there are no further comments and no sign of the Roastee, I will close this Roast at this 120-hour mark.

Thank you to all the sifters that participated.

Rest in Peace, Roast XIV.

We are now in Post Roast.


The competition for LAST COMMENT begins NOW.

I offer NO PRIZES.

You guys will figure it out.

Last!

And another thing...

@MrFisk got his name from the Kingpin. He thinks that's the Punisher's nemesis. Idiot. Amazing Spider-man #50. Look it up.

He's some 34-35 year old corn-husking Nebraskan who survived a broken spine. It's a sad story, I know. We all hoped he wouldn't survive. Kidding, you big, inept lummox. Glad to have you around on the Sift. It wouldn't be nearly as interesting without you.

Last.

The only thing I will add to this vitriolic stew is following:

It is hard to roast a late 30-something douchebag who clearly lives alone in his parents basement. I have come to know MrFist from a previous internet forum, except there his name was MrFiskers.

I am not sure why he came to El Sift, originally. My guess is he bonded with a fellow cat lover over a video they mutually masterbated over.

Look, we are talking about a guy who trips on acid alone in his parents basement. Imagine a room where even the carpet is painted black and a dozen or so cats roam free under the intense glow of black lights. Here in this cavern, lives our sad little MFist. In place that no woman has gone since Jenny Mazbaker wondered down there looking for a bathroom when his older brother John threw a Culture Club party in 86. We all would be ignorant of his parents shame, save for the fact that John's wife Stacy called animal planet.

MrFist deserves our pitty, out acceptance, like a sheep that has strayed to far from reality and has been sucked into the chasm of WoW.

.
.
.
Oh, crap. We are roasting MrFisK not MrFisT. Wow. My bad dude. You are cool. Punisher Rocks! I was thinking we were roasting @blankfist again. Mia culpa.

Last.

fuck me.
i always miss these things and therefore the opportunity to be a total dickwad.
fisk?
love him.he is the only person who begs for phone-pic shots of my cock.considering i am a decaying meatsack with graying ball hair this has always tickled me (get the reference.i am a clever monkey) but now that i think about it..that makes fisk one very disturbed motherfucker but that wont stop me from sending him pictures of my cock.
you gloriously demented fucker you.

oh..
and LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAST.
can ya feel that blankie..
can ya..
feel it..