It seems that you were recently subjected to the devastation that comes with having someone close to you kill his/herself. I, too, have experienced this when I was in high school, but I didn't let it change me. I shouldn't have to censor myself because someone else might do something stupid. You know what's great for depression? Marijuana. There's plenty of shit in this world that could set someone off. I'm none too worried about a joke on the internet.

Comment hidden because you are ignoring dag. (show it anyway)

You and I know exactly what he's talking about. I thought you were done for the night. Seriously, I would sleep on this one.

>> ^BoneRemake:

I disagree. You can't go around being afraid to offend or upset everybody. Say "no" to censorship. Sorry that some people are depressed, but if they're teetering that close to the edge of suicide, then it was just a matter of time.

I should know better than to post my midnight rants.

I also dislike censorship--unless it's self censorship, which is what I wanted to get across to people. Just a thought to try to make people think about what they post.
(I guess I could use a dose of my own medicine).

Dammit, Hermes, stop hogging that healthy liver!

>> ^Boise_Lib:

I should know better than to post my midnight rants.
I also dislike censorship--unless it's self censorship, which is what I wanted to get across to people. Just a thought to try to make people think about what they post.
(I guess I could use a dose of my own medicine).


I know...sometimes when something hits close to home it's hard to look at things objectively. And I agree, somewhat, that people shouldn't go around doing things to hurt people. Also, I think that if somebody wants to avoid hurting people, they should consider what they say or type. So you're right in that aspect.

here are a few rules i live by:
1.i never let anyone dictate how i should feel about myself.
2.assuming someones intentions is the most arrogant of all human proclivities and is something i attempt my best to avoid.sometimes i succeed,other times i fail but in any of those cases if i am unsure.... i ask directly.
3.when dealing with people on the internet i deal with them as human beings and not just a name or avatar.i may be at times harsh or irreverent but i ALWAYS temper my words with that in mind.they are an actual person.
i make no bones if i am angered or irritated or even touched or humbled because i am always sincere.

all of this i can do because i know who i am.my strengths...my weaknesses and even my odd quirks and to ask people on the internet to change their behavior due to my own oddness is a task that is not only unfair but damn near impossible.

that being said,i shall add something here that i tend to keep to myself but for boise's sake (who i find a decent sort),let me add this which may (or may not) add weight to my words:
i am bi-polar.
not your everyday,"im feeling down" kind of bi-polar but the rip-snorting,high-octane,we-are-going-for-a-ride kind of bi-polar.
oh....the stories i could tell you all...but i digress,
i suffer from severe and debilitating depression at times and is a reason some of you may notice that at one point or another i seem to just vanish from the sift.

so for those of you on the sift that suffer from depression.you are not alone but (and this is big) NEVER..EVER..let anyone dictate how you should feel about yourself.
that is your job to work out.
to give someone else that authority is to become a slave to someone elses imperfect and subjective understanding of you.
reserve that for the people who truly love you,for it is through the eyes of those who truly love you who can remind you who you are when you have forgotten.

man,i hope not a lot of people see this.
i feel like my fly is open.
anyways.this one is for you boise.
open fly and all.

>> ^enoch:

here are a few rules i live by:
1.i never let anyone dictate how i should feel about myself.
2.assuming someones intentions is the most arrogant of all human proclivities and is something i attempt my best to avoid.sometimes i succeed,other times i fail but in any of those cases if i am unsure.... i ask directly.
3.when dealing with people on the internet i deal with them as human beings and not just a name or avatar.i may be at times harsh or irreverent but i ALWAYS temper my words with that in mind.they are an actual person.
i make no bones if i am angered or irritated or even touched or humbled because i am always sincere.
all of this i can do because i know who i am.my strengths...my weaknesses and even my odd quirks and to ask people on the internet to change their behavior due to my own oddness is a task that is not only unfair but damn near impossible.
that being said,i shall add something here that i tend to keep to myself but for boise's sake (who i find a decent sort),let me add this which may (or may not) add weight to my words:
i am bi-polar.
not your everyday,"im feeling down" kind of bi-polar but the rip-snorting,high-octane,we-are-going-for-a-ride kind of bi-polar.
oh....the stories i could tell you all...but i digress,
i suffer from severe and debilitating depression at times and is a reason some of you may notice that at one point or another i seem to just vanish from the sift.
so for those of you on the sift that suffer from depression.you are not alone but (and this is big) NEVER..EVER..let anyone dictate how you should feel about yourself.
that is your job to work out.
to give someone else that authority is to become a slave to someone elses imperfect and subjective understanding of you.
reserve that for the people who truly love you,for it is through the eyes of those who truly love you who can remind you who you are when you have forgotten.
man,i hope not a lot of people see this.
i feel like my fly is open.
anyways.this one is for you boise.
open fly and all.


I should have just listened to my girlfriend and taken a Xanax instead of posting this.
(Yes, I do have a girlfriend--she's a cheerleader in another state--you wouldn't know her.)
Thank You, enoch.

@Boise_Lib: Again, mj works wonders for depression. Pretty sure that's been the focus of many a study.

>> ^MarineGunrock:

@Boise_Lib: Again, mj works wonders for depression. Pretty sure that's been the focus of many a study.


@MarineGunrock Abso-fuckn-lutely! I fact that is my favorite medicine of all (not kidding--it's the most effective with the least side-effects).
I'm in the middle of job-hunting right now (good luck in this economy, heh)--so, that's out because of our fucked up drug war.

Sorry I didn't reply to your recommend earlier and Thank You.

@Boise_Lib, yeah, I know a guy that's been a regular smoker for years and quit a few months ago because he knew he was getting fired (worked as a salesman, and in this economy, no one is buying) -he's not a medical user by any means, but it was the same situation. You're not alone.

Does she live in Canada? Did you meet her at Niagara falls? I <3 breakfast club!>> ^Boise_Lib:

>> ^enoch:
here are a few rules i live by:
1.i never let anyone dictate how i should feel about myself.
2.assuming someones intentions is the most arrogant of all human proclivities and is something i attempt my best to avoid.sometimes i succeed,other times i fail but in any of those cases if i am unsure.... i ask directly.
3.when dealing with people on the internet i deal with them as human beings and not just a name or avatar.i may be at times harsh or irreverent but i ALWAYS temper my words with that in mind.they are an actual person.
i make no bones if i am angered or irritated or even touched or humbled because i am always sincere.
all of this i can do because i know who i am.my strengths...my weaknesses and even my odd quirks and to ask people on the internet to change their behavior due to my own oddness is a task that is not only unfair but damn near impossible.
that being said,i shall add something here that i tend to keep to myself but for boise's sake (who i find a decent sort),let me add this which may (or may not) add weight to my words:
i am bi-polar.
not your everyday,"im feeling down" kind of bi-polar but the rip-snorting,high-octane,we-are-going-for-a-ride kind of bi-polar.
oh....the stories i could tell you all...but i digress,
i suffer from severe and debilitating depression at times and is a reason some of you may notice that at one point or another i seem to just vanish from the sift.
so for those of you on the sift that suffer from depression.you are not alone but (and this is big) NEVER..EVER..let anyone dictate how you should feel about yourself.
that is your job to work out.
to give someone else that authority is to become a slave to someone elses imperfect and subjective understanding of you.
reserve that for the people who truly love you,for it is through the eyes of those who truly love you who can remind you who you are when you have forgotten.
man,i hope not a lot of people see this.
i feel like my fly is open.
anyways.this one is for you boise.
open fly and all.

I should have just listened to my girlfriend and taken a Xanax instead of posting this.
(Yes, I do have a girlfriend--she's a cheerleader in another state--you wouldn't know her.)
Thank You, enoch.

@rottenseed
The really sad part is I used this old lie in High school--long before The Breakfast Club came out.

>> ^MarineGunrock:

@Boise_Lib, yeah, I know a guy that's been a regular smoker for years and quit a few months ago because he knew he was getting fired (worked as a salesman, and in this economy, no one is buying) -he's not a medical user by any means, but it was the same situation. You're not alone.


Yeah, I found that I functioned a lot better with weed--than without--long before I was diagnosed.

Michael Jackson?

>> ^MarineGunrock:

@Boise_Lib: Again, mj works wonders for depression. Pretty sure that's been the focus of many a study.

I think your request for empathy and respect is perfectly valid, lib. I see no problem with censoring yourself when you feel the need to be cruel or when you feel like the person you are talking with is going through some nasty shit. I lost a friend to suicide - a friend that seemed to have literally everything going for them, and was destined for a long and successful life. I didn't know what to do about it. You wonder if you could have changed their fate with a simple phone call. You wonder what the final straw was that drove them over the edge. There is no way to know these things. I think this is a fine thread, and you need not apologize for your feelings - or for having feelings.

I sense a lot of us on the sift have depression and anxiety issues. The anonymity of the internet makes it easier.

If (anyone) thinks they may have problems, you should google your symptoms. If you can identify the specifics of your disorder, it makes it much easier to sort out the reality from the paranoia in your brain. A friend of mine has a saying that goes, "There are two kinds of people in the world, the type that know they are crazy and the type that do not". I tend to agree. Not to mention that the sanest people are usually the least interesting.

*quality conversation

Awarding Boise_Lib with one star point for this contribution to VideoSift - declared quality by dystopianfuturetoday.

Comment hidden because you are ignoring dag. (show it anyway)

I definitely think I suffer from mild depression from time to time, although sometimes I like to call it "depressive realism". Or maybe I'm low-T. I'm averse to doctors though, and if I liked pot more I'm sure I would self-medicate.

My brother committed suicide one week and a half ago. No warning, except for a few small clues of "usual" depression. He most likely had Asperger's from everything we know. But, he never got diagnosed as he was paranoid of doctors and hadn't seen so much as a dentist in 13 years.

I've tried to commit suicide myself in the past. I failed and was diagnosed with bi-polar. My brother pulled his off without a hitch. He had no such second chance--to rise from your own ashes and learn to understand yourself, and in turn others.

I have the vision of hindsight with me now. I know just how dangerous these murky waters of the mind are. They are utterly ignorant. Unrelenting. These waves deceive your mind's eye and convey only one premonition to come. And just when you think it can't be worse reality chases you through your days and dreams like some harried demon; an elemental made of some compulsion filled fateful last night of twilight's last dance. The lighthouse throws shadows rather than light and all the ports are closed.

THAT is what it means to be lost, truly. It requires great effort to stave it off. It is very much like a pitching sea. You must treat it almost like a monster of the deep by going to your doctor and arming yourself with what you can. Drugs, meditation, life changes, and most importantly knowledge...

The Internet may be a trigger in some small amount of cases, I agree. But, it is at school before we become young adults that we need to know these things and learn where to get help. We need to know how to recognize all types in ourselves and others as it is a common place issue; meanwhile psychiatry still remains semi-taboo topic in the public domain, making it a bigger problem still. It's very hard to help someone set on suicide as they are very much like Ahab in "Moby Dick". Watch your words, but know it is never truly one needle that truly breaks the camel's back.

There are truly some brave people here. I have been struck so many times before but no more than here. I am humbled.

You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness; like resignation to the end -- always the end.

♥

@kceaton1

Beautiful, my friend.

I also lost my brother in 2003. He was in AA and NA for 9 years, but lost his way again--adrift in his own pitching sea (Beautifully put BTW). For the first year and a half all I felt was anger--luckily I was able to finally put that aside (mostly).

I was under no illusions that I would be able to change anyone's use of language. But, if one person thinks about it--and doesn't write that one comment--that that one person on the edge might read--maybe this post might help one person--and possibly both of these people.

Thank You.

>> ^MarineGunrock:

@Boise_Lib: Again, mj works wonders for depression. Pretty sure that's been the focus of many a study.


I've never touched it, myself, but I've recently seen a number of smokers say they can't smoke when they're feeling depressed or they get really stressed out and anxious. Each of them thought this was just something weird and unique to themselves until they all had this conversation.

>> ^xxovercastxx:

>> ^MarineGunrock:
@Boise_Lib: Again, mj works wonders for depression. Pretty sure that's been the focus of many a study.

I've never touched it, myself, but I've recently seen a number of smokers say they can't smoke when they're feeling depressed or they get really stressed out and anxious. Each of them thought this was just something weird and unique to themselves until they all had this conversation.


Yes, everyone reacts differently. My girlfriend has this (bad) reaction when she is deeply depressed. I on the other hand--don't. Some people say that when they are depressed mj makes them even worse. But, I know a lot of people who (like me) it helps over the worst spots. It's like every other medicine in that respect. I can't take many anti-depressants because of side effects. People have to try different things till they find the one which works best for them.

Would it be really bad taste to post this here?

@hpqp I'm no authority about taste, but I do laugh my ass off at anything the Bammer does.

I politely disagree. I believe that with the amount of humans on the planet, if someone tells you to "jump off a bridge" and you do it, then it is merely natural selection at its finest. We cannot outgrow our primitive ways entirely, and if I have to change my online rhetoric because someone might have an issue with it, then I am now the one affected.

Depression is a real problem, but a vague term, and I refuse to censor myself because someone might take issue with it. You are correct, sir, in noting that you don't know who is on the other end of an online convo, but am I to assume that every person cant take a joke?

Bottom line: Do you really think BoneR wanted you to commit suicide? I don't.

Again, I am just stating my opinion. Love you guys and I respect you all. (to a certain degree )

>> ^sme4r:

I politely disagree. I believe that with the amount of humans on the planet, if someone tells you to "jump off a bridge" and you do it, then it is merely natural selection at its finest. We cannot outgrow our primitive ways entirely, and if I have to change my online rhetoric because someone might have an issue with it, then I am now the one affected.
Depression is a real problem, but a vague term, and I refuse to censor myself because someone might take issue with it. You are correct, sir, in noting that you don't know who is on the other end of an online convo, but am I to assume that every person cant take a joke?
Bottom line: Do you really think BoneR wanted you to commit suicide? I don't.
Again, I am just stating my opinion. Love you guys and I respect you all. (to a certain degree )


I appreciate your polite disagreement.

You refuse to censor yourself--okay. I brought up a potential issue in order that people might think twice--I even said please. I did not advocate a new auto-ban rule. You say, "...if I have to change my online rhetoric because someone might have an issue with it, then I am now the one affected." I'm not advocating anyone force you to change your online rhetoric, but we all change our views and rhetoric all the time--it's called maturing.

Imagine this scenario:

A 13 year old girl from your neighborhood--you know her and her parents--jumps off a bridge to her death. Upon investigation it's found that the last thing she was doing was reading something online. The very last thing she read--her last action on earth--was a comment from you (not to her) saying, "Go jump off a bridge." Would you then say, "Well it's natural selection, she didn't deserve to live"? Or, would you feel bad that reading your comment was enough to cause a young person, with so much potential life to live, to jump? I refuse to believe that you would be so unfeeling as to say, "She should have been able to take a joke."

The whole premise of my posting was that someone, somewhere, might read what you write and it might trigger a suicide. That one person might even know that you were joking--that doesn't matter if Suicidal Ideation is involved. No, you shouldn't have to assume that every person can't take a joke--but you should, at least, know that not every person can.

My actions (over-re-actions) started a chain of events which caused BoneRemake to be suspended. If it makes you feel better I feel like shit over the whole incident. I'm sorry your friend got suspended for 2 weeks, but please remember--I don't have the power to suspend, or ban, anyone. I'm just a Standard Member; a noob. Also, please remember that you have only seen the parts of the conversations which are open to all. Neither you, nor I, have seen everything that happened.

I appreciate your saying openly what you believe instead of trying to bait me: as has happened. An open discussion may not change your mind--but it has shown me the depth of your character.

Thank You.

Sadly, it doesn't make me feel better that you feel like shit about it. It's a shame that you were now affected negatively twice by this whole incident. I mean that.

As for the girl scenario, it would be unfortunate that it had happened, but I cannot change my stance on something for a hypothetical situation, joke or not. I have (had) friends who have committed suicide, and it is incredibly tough to rationalize or justify their decisions, so I don't, as it is too late anyway; but there have been some failed attempts by friends too, that I am proud to say I helped in the "snap out of it" process. Some people want to live more than others I guess, and I think that decision is predetermined.

And lets face it, BoneR was going to be banned sooner or later for something, so I for one blame him, not you. It's just a shame when these things get out of hand. Either way, to each their own and thanks for a healthy exchange of Ideals. I dont care what all the other sifters say, you area a gentleman and a scholar. Your character shines though as well, mister Boise_lib.

>> ^Boise_Lib:

>> ^sme4r:
I politely disagree. I believe that with the amount of humans on the planet, if someone tells you to "jump off a bridge" and you do it, then it is merely natural selection at its finest. We cannot outgrow our primitive ways entirely, and if I have to change my online rhetoric because someone might have an issue with it, then I am now the one affected.
Depression is a real problem, but a vague term, and I refuse to censor myself because someone might take issue with it. You are correct, sir, in noting that you don't know who is on the other end of an online convo, but am I to assume that every person cant take a joke?
Bottom line: Do you really think BoneR wanted you to commit suicide? I don't.
Again, I am just stating my opinion. Love you guys and I respect you all. (to a certain degree )

I appreciate your polite disagreement.
You refuse to censor yourself--okay. I brought up a potential issue in order that people might think twice--I even said please. I did not advocate a new auto-ban rule. You say, "...if I have to change my online rhetoric because someone might have an issue with it, then I am now the one affected." I'm not advocating anyone force you to change your online rhetoric, but we all change our views and rhetoric all the time--it's called maturing.
Imagine this scenario:
A 13 year old girl from your neighborhood--you know her and her parents--jumps off a bridge to her death. Upon investigation it's found that the last thing she was doing was reading something online. The very last thing she read--her last action on earth--was a comment from you (not to her) saying, "Go jump off a bridge." Would you then say, "Well it's natural selection, she didn't deserve to live"? Or, would you feel bad that reading your comment was enough to cause a young person, with so much potential life to live, to jump? I refuse to believe that you would be so unfeeling as to say, "She should have been able to take a joke."
The whole premise of my posting was that someone, somewhere, might read what you write and it might trigger a suicide. That one person might even know that you were joking--that doesn't matter if Suicidal Ideation is involved. No, you shouldn't have to assume that every person can't take a joke--but you should, at least, know that not every person can.
My actions (over-re-actions) started a chain of events which caused BoneRemake to be suspended. If it makes you feel better I feel like shit over the whole incident. I'm sorry your friend got suspended for 2 weeks, but please remember--I don't have the power to suspend, or ban, anyone. I'm just a Standard Member; a noob. Also, please remember that you have only seen the parts of the conversations which are open to all. Neither you, nor I, have seen everything that happened.
I appreciate your saying openly what you believe instead of trying to bait me: as has happened. An open discussion may not change your mind--but it has shown me the depth of your character.
Thank You.

If I could upvote your comment more than once, @sme4r I would.