i've never been anywhere that you couldn't drive to so I have no idea how it feels. i've only flown once in a cessna. but I am afraid of heights. or depths, rather. tried paragliding for a while, thought i'd get rid of the fear. i didn't
edit: my advice? get stoned

Seriously, mintbbb, I have the same fear. And it's not a post-9/11 thing either...I just don't like the idea of not being in control. The funny thing is if I were flying the plane, I'd probably be OK with flying. I just don't like trusting someone else to make sure I don't wind up as a charcoal briquette on the ground.

Anyways, back to topic. I would HIGHLY advise you to visit your doctor and explain your fears, then have the doctor write you a prescription for some Xanax. That stuff is amazing. It's an anti-anxiety drug that will definitely help you with flying. You'll need 4; two for the trip there and two for the trip back. (Actually, you might need more like 8, seeing as it's an international flight) Take one when you get to the gate, take another once you get on the plane, and then 1 every x hours after that. I had to fly to Chicago for a computer security conference one year and slept the whole time there, but not on the way back. But even then, I was looking out the window at the ground, thinking very calmly, "Wow. We're really high up. Ok." I won't fly without it now.

^I think videosiftbannedme has the best idea. Go to the doctor and get some anti-anxiety drugs.

i'm not against pills but you could try anti-anxiety breathing techniques

When I'm on a plane I actually hope sometimes for the plane to crash - or have some serious turbulence - just for the experience. Nothing morbid, just for the rush.

I guess you never went on rollercoasters? I did, the scariest ones. Planes are like that.
First time I took a plane I was flying for 14 hours, Canada - Hong Kong. Piece of cake.

So yeah,
get lots of pot. Bring it with you. Smoke at the terminals.

Get pissed.

If that doesn't work, here are a few other ideas I could think of off the top of my head (not being a pro by any means):

-Meditate. Focusing on nothing or on something distant can drive out fear. Breath well.

-Get out your iPod and blast the music. Not hearing the engines might help.

-Or take two Dramamine and there's no chance you won't sleep. That stuff knocks you out better than horse tranquilizers.

-You doctor might be able to help with anti-anxiety medications. They're pretty safe when only used in rare situations and I'm told they work quite well, but honestly, Dramamine FTW.

-You can also look at statistics on flying if you think you can rationalize your fear away. Flying is safer than driving by a landslide, a HUGE landslide.

-Don't panic when things shake. Planes always shake. They are built for it. The wings shake to keep them safe. Don't panic when the pressure changes. Just yawn a couple times. That should balance things.

-Occasionally get up and take a walk. You can just walk to the bathroom and back if want, as to not look odd. Being on your feet can help make you feel grounded, pun intended.

-Bring a drink and a snack in your carry-on. Wait... scratch the drink, they won't allow it, just a snack of some sort. Some people are reminded they're flying by peanuts from a cart.

-Some people are also unconsciously disturbed by the smell of planes if they fear flying. Wearing some perfume or something like it might help. Smell is the sense that is most linked to memory. Wear a comforting scent or munch a comforting snack. I recommend chocolate.

-Some time, try to figure out why you fear flying. Did anyone ever tell you it's not safe? Is it just what you've heard in the news? Phobias ALL have an origin.


---===My best advice though? Two words. AUDIO BOOK.===---


Personally I LOVE flying. Seeing new perspectives of earth is a passion, so soaring above it is a delight to me. I've flown many times and I am comforted in knowing that my car is $17,000 and I've never been hurt in it, and here I am in a plane that costs MILLIONS, much spent on safety measures. I also have an irrational love of heights, odd.

Though I can't relate to fear of flying directly, I am a VERY vivid dreamer (often lucid) while I sleep. I've actually never spoken to anyone about it who can relate. Odd, I know, I'm sure there are many, but none that I've talked to. This means that nightmares are absolutely heart-stopping, so I know how to deal with irrational fear. I focus on reality. I focus on breathing and tasting the air, seeing the room, smelling the scents, and denying the fear. Actually vocalizing that the fear is irrational and chemical ONLY helps a great deal. I also confront the fear by treating it with disdain. For example, if a nightmare triggers a serious fear that makes me want to keep my eyes open and turn the lights on, I will close my eyes and force proof that it is a bogus fear. That tends to convince my mind that the fear is BS and I should stop being scared. Remember that it is CHEMICALS that cause fear in your brain. Prayer can help as well not only because I actually believe in God, but also because it focuses the mind on defeating the fear.

I do however understand real irrational terror, the PTSD kind. After a car-crash I was in (no one's fault, bad weather), I experienced it for the first and hopefully last time while riding with someone else. For that sort of fear, I have no tips. I was frozen despite my will and my heart felt like it had stopped. OK, I guess in hind sight that's not the only time. The other was 2 days before my comprehensive exam in grad school. God, that was shear panic defined.

- Pick a middle seat.
Nothing will take your mind off of troubling engine noises and vibrations like being crammed next to some fat guy who's side fat is engulfing the arm rest.

- Choose your seat in the row in front of the exit row.
Clearly you are not brave enough to be seated in the exit row, but maybe you might want to be nearby. Nah, I'm just kidding, these seats do no recline and will make it very uncomfortable and even hard to sleep, but the idea is keeping your mind off of gremlins on the wings, right?

- Piss off the stewardess.
Ask for special things, like a whole can of coke and TWO glasses with ice. Or, every time they pass by make sure you get their attention and ask them things like, how much longer, and is it ok to use the restroom now? They will know that you are an expert traveler and treat you with extra attention and maybe even perks.

- Listen to advice from the internet, especially those who suggest taking large amounts of drugs.
Nothing makes a trip more pleasant and there is no better way to make friends then holding up a whole plane full of passengers because some "nervous nelly" took a shit-ton of xanax and now everyone has to wait as medics come down to look at the passed out idiot that cannot be roused. Nothing like missing your connecting flight because of a sweating-passed-out-drooler.

- Sit in the back of the plane.
Seriously, nothing will take your mind off of flying like the portapotty smell as the same old fucker gets up 10 minutes into the flight to befoul the restroom. Why they can't do it at the end of the flight or in the concourse ahead of time is one of the grand mysteries, but the unique blend of fragrances that is old people, colostomy bag, chemical toilet and baby diapers should keep your mind off of whatever you were worried about. Trust me you won't care when the plane drops 50 feet as it hits a thermal when it brings you a few seconds where you remember back and fear made it so you didn't smell anything. For those lovely brief moments.

- How about you try something simple.
Flying is 1000x safer then sitting in the passenger seat of a car. So just suck it up and bring a magazine or a skinmag and put on some headphones and just pretend you are in a doctor's waiting room. Oh, maybe a dentist's office. And really there is only about 30 seconds at take off that you should be bothered by, and you probably won't notice the landing until it is "all better". The stuff in the middle is really the safest part of the flight.


Cars are soooooo fucking dangerous, so just tell yourself that you don't envision the very likely bone shattering accident everytime you buckle up. So if you are dumb enough to drive down the road ignoring cars, eating fast food, talking on your cell phone, or putting on lipstick, then clearly you are ready for flying. If none of that scares the shit out of you, it probably should, or at least don't start to care about your safety and livelihood now.

Make sure you bring some LSD to help calm u down for the flight

seriously though I'll never forget my first flight lesson.. that moment that the aircraft first lifted off the ground.. I looked down at the rooftops thinking omg that'll hurt like hell to fall in this little tin can if the engine gave out right now. I felt scared for a couple seconds but then I just focused on the beauty of being airborne. Just let yourself go and focus on something that makes you happy. The fear will subside.

Try dropping Trancecoach a line. He submitted this...

http://www.videosift.com/video/Paul-McKenna-meets-Richard-Bandler

Wherein a survivor of a plane hijacking and amateur pilot gets her wings back.

Join the mile-high club -> submit video to the sift.

I don't have any magical cures for it sadly, but hopefully you'll ease up when the first flights are done. Nothing like positive reinforcement for that stuff. Of course, if the first flight goes down in flames, my theory is shot to hell.

And don't worry about that weird rumbling, it's just your stomach. Oh and that grmelin on the wing is there all the time; he has frequent flier miles by now.

Something that works for me (I’m not afraid of flying, but used to be quite phobic and am still terrified of dogs and heights). Is there something you can do or, even better, like to do that most other people consider dangerous, scary and/or difficult? If so, concentrate on that activity as much as you can in the couple of days before you fly, talk about it with as many people as you can (also during the flight), remember a particularly risky or difficult moment when you performed splendidly and go over it again in your mind. You’re still not going to enjoy the flight, but it will boost your self confidence (thinking you’re a sissy because you’re afraid is not going to help), get you in a good mood, and might put your fear of flying in perspective.

Apart from that, make sure you’re in good shape and comfortable: enough sleep, not hung-over, wear comfy clothes (layers, because temperatures are always either crazy hot or crazy cold on planes), bring comfort food.

Good luck!

Give up control completely. The pilots know what they're doing. Think of it just like sitting on a train or in a car.

Remember that if you were sitting at home alone in your bathroom you'd have a higher statistical likelyhood of dying than on a plane.

Remember how much fun you'll have in Finland... lucky....

Do not get drunk.

I hate flying because am stuck with 200 or so people in sardine can.

Usually I just drink a bottle of wine to pass out.

Pot Doogle? Really...getting nabbed by a pot sniffing beagle would end her worries of the flight, but the goal is to actually make it to Finland

The Xanax advice was best, added with the ipod. Take a little playstation or nintendo ds too.

If you can't get the Xanax, then get there early for a couple of straight shots of Crown or Bourbon in the lounge before the flight. Have another on the plane too. (don't mix the xanax w/ the liquor though..you will get sick)

Take something like alka seltzer or antacid to settle your stomach if needed.

Holy cow, it doesn't take a book to say how much safer planes are than cars. Done.

Also remember that statistically you will only crash on either landing or take off. Once that's over it's easier to deal with the flight.

Air crashes are so rare now that when they do occur it makes international headlines.

>> ^Ryjkyj:
Remember how much fun you'll have in Finland... lucky....

Fun? In Finland? Suomi on serious bisnes.

Whatever you do don't get wasted. I wouldn't recommend alcohol at all, unpredictable people in airplane conditions lead to extra landings. Get a pair of noise canceling earbuds and listen to classical music the whole flight. That's what was played in the cabin when I was on a flight landing in "stormy" weather.

Oh, and Tervetuloa

Just bring a MP3 player, close your eyes, recline your seat and focus on listening to the music. That's the best way I know to relax.

Also, watch this video and this video. If all these airplanes make it without anything happening to them, what is the chance of something happening in your flights?

Two statements come to mind

- 'If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.'

- 'Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.'

Learn about fear, how it works in your body and what it is for. Learn about airplanes, understand there are certain noises that are actually indicative that the plane is working as it should be for example.

http://www.guidetopsychology.com/fearfly.htm

Also I noticed you wrote:

'11 more days to go before my flights..'

this behavior of counting how long until 'X fearful situation will arrive' makes matters worse because you are in essence, ruminating your anxiety.

Thanks for all the replies =) They made me feel better, and I I got a lot of good suggestions. The audio book idea sounded great, I never thought of that! I think I'll bring either an ipod, or maybe even try to see if I can snatch Net's DS, or whatever portable he has (obviously I have never touched it myself since I don't even know wich one it is, duh..)

I'll think about the Dramanine/Xanax thing.. I'll have 2 very quick plane changes in Stockholm and Helsinki, I don't want to be too stoned/sleepy/drunk to figure out where to go for the next leg =)

Though I have to mention: the only time I was not afraid during a whole flight was one December flight from NY to Cincinnati. We took off at right after sunset, and all the lights of NY were fantastic. Then, it was a totally clear night and it looked like the whole country was lit up with Christmas lights, and I could just watch them the whole flight.

When we approached Cincinnati, we had to circle a bit, and we flew over Downtown Cincinnati. TWICE! I could even see where the Zoo was with its huge light display. I was actually disappointed when we started to head towards the airport and landing.. I wanted yell 'Keep going! This is fantastic!' =)

So, I guess if I just get distracted enough, I'll forget the fear and enjoy the ride.. It should be fun... =)

Again, thanks for the replies, and for making me feel better.

UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE!

Did we help? Are you alive? We're you arrested!?!?

Hihi

I am alive, back in the States again! I THINK I did better. When we got to the cruising altitude, I just kept reminding myself that as long as we are up and running, we are fine. I had a few good books, and thanks goodness, the transatlantic plane had a dozen movies on a loop and 2 free drinks.

I ended up watching 'Get Smart', ' Narnia: Prince Caspian' and the newest Indiana Jones. I was very happy that the longest flights went without panic, I rather hated sitting whiteknuckled and listening to the engine noises for 8 hours.

The shirter flights were still kind of grabbing the arms of the chair and having very sweaty palms. But I behaved well, no crying, screaming, or getting arrested by an air marshall =) I think I could handle a single flight, just these 4 in one day and 4 more a week later are kinda rought.

But I am hone.. gett8ing stuck in some weird mid-atlantic time zone, since I am waking up at 4am EST and not getting back to sleep. Oh well, I have today off, I'll worry about being sane in workr tomorrow =)

Again, if anybody still checks this thread, thanks for all the help and suggestions. I made it, it went better than I thought and I am sooooooo happy to be back home! I was frigging honesick the whole trip! =)

*quality

Awarding mintbbb with one star point for this contribution to Sift Talk - declared quality by thinker247.