I'm happy with my relationship (girlfriend). Woot.

Comment hidden because you are ignoring dag. (show it anyway)

We are wired differently - and in some ways slaves to our evolutionary shapers, BUT - man what a dreary sausage fest it would be without females.

Has anyone read the Screwfly Solution by James Tiptree Junior?

here's what i really think. 'women' cannot be delineated by chris rock's comedy. diversity exists and is pervasive, but it is cognitively dismissed due to the salience of stereotypes which are robust and incredibly resilient to change.

in other words, he's playing to the obvious, and it works, and it's funny, but it's also largely bullshit.

If I told you guys how good I had it, you'd just all be jealous. Let it suffice then to merely say that Chris Rock's tirade couldn't be further from my life.

^Ditto.

I was engaged once. Now, I'd just like to share a bottle of wine or two with a lady or two.

Aww that's really sweet. But still, 4 out of the 6 of you who have commented have upvoted it. And seeing as it's observational humour you must be amused by it because you relate to it in some ways. And enough moaning about women in general, not necessarily your own lady goes on to give good cause to find out what it is they do to drive you insane Here's some comments from that thread, I want some of you guys to back this shit up!

"funny.. but SO SO SO SO true"

"I'm married. He speaks the truth"

"women just aren't happy unless they're miserable"

"Should be required viewing for guys in high school"

"This was my favorite part of this show. You ever laugh so hard it hurts, to the point of getting lightheaded? That's where I was"

(and whose ladies see what you guys write here on the sift too) "You better write something fucking SWEET about me you son of a whore, don't be keeping quiet now and letting people think i'm a "typical woman"....." yada yada.

^ thepinky...is that you?

TBH, I wasn't entertained for most of it and was actually going to close the video, but since it's Chris Rock I gave it a chance and near the end I got a couple of chuckles.

Someone upvoting it in no way automatically means they relate to what was said nor that they have any first-hand experience with it. It's just someone's anecdote that sounds funny, especially when imagining it actually happening.

For example, in one of his funniest shows, he says how "N words" say to each other "I take care of my kids," and I found that hilarious even though I have never known anyone to say that, I don't have any kids, and every parent I know also takes care of their kids.

Sometimes some things just sound funny or paint a funny picture in your mind.

I laughed my ass off because I found it to b true with just about every woman in my life. Anyone that doesn't see their woman this way is lying to themselves.

But seriously, I watched it with my girlfriend, and she laughed her ass off the whole time because it is indeed true.

How fucking dare you rasch. Get in my room

The last chick I dated was guilty of this to the max. After the honeymoon faze she would argue with me over anything and everything. I particularly noticed how effective her "opposite argument" was originally. I would say something and she would say I meant the opposite of what I'd said. For example, "I like it when you (blank), would be met with, "So, you don't like it when I (such and such)?" It was infuriating! So, yeah, Mr. Rock hit it correctly on this point. Does that help alien?

^ Yep that's the kind of thing i'm looking for! Of course along with lucky and djsunkid's posts about how they don't suffer it. Wondering, would you say your ladies are special or that the stereotype is way off?

alien_concept, you're a girl?!

To tell you the truth, I think I cause a good majority of the problems in my relationship cause I can be a grouchy asshole. The other problems are caused by insecurities she has obtained from previous relationships.

Oh and the trick to winning an argument as a guy, is to play their own game and remember everything. You have no idea how many times remembering something she said a few months ago that I can use against her has saved my ass. It is a battle but just don't take anything too seriously.

but luckily she's understanding and puts up with my shit.

>> ^rottenseed:
alien_concept, you're a girl?!

Rottenseed, you have a girlfriend?!

My wife is special AND the stereotype is WAY off.

I've dated LOTS of girls and never have I ever gone out with somebody like what Chris Rock describes. I have to say, speaking broadly, that my experience, my concept, my picture of "the feminine creature" if you will is completely different from Chris Rock's.

I believe, for the most part, that aside from anatomy, I find that there is very little difference between boys and girls, at least on a deep level. I guess what I mean is that there is more difference between say two girls than there are between say a guy and a girl, and that a guy and a girl may have WAY more in common than two guys.

I've almost always dated girls that I had at least SOMETHING in common with, so I may have a skewed perspective.

Also my perspective is undoubtedly skewed because I was raised to believe in gender equality. That probably is a big part of the reason why I see any differences between boys and girls as being very vague, and slight.

Now having said all that, here's my (sexist) view on women:
- women can be moody. PMS is kind of scary. But they're also intelligent and self sufficient, and can recognize their own unreasonableness. But they are still allowed to be upset. Fuck, I get in a bad mood from time to time too.

- women aren't as strong (physically) as men. (given the same lifestyle, activity level, etc) this makes me sad, because i am not strong, but i'm stronger than unathletic girls. I would hate to be weaker than i already am.

- doubtlessly because of social conditioning, girls are more likely to understand their own feelings than guys. I am down with people who are into their own feelings. Especially when they know about the little things that make them happy. Girls know those things, and will tell you if you are nice to them. I like that.

...

wow, I can't really think of too many more things that I can say blanket statement about girls. I've dated rational ones, I've dated depressed ones, I've dated super-rational ones.... but... that was all their own personalities, not something that I would say about all girls.

...

Now my wife, on the other hand, is a completely different story. ... I think that if you take the Chris Rock routine, add in a very healthy dose of mutual respect, and then completely reverse the roles, you'd be closer to the dynamic in our relationship.

Oh, yeah, and we both make sense when we argue. But then again, we both are students of consciousness and AI and perception and neuropsychology, so we both recognize one very important thing. We know that our brains are really imperfect (wetware is so kludgy, especially with horomones and mood altering neurotransmitters just sloshing around). We trust and respect each other enough to be able to see that we both think we're right, even if only one of us could (logically) be right.

If it is not a strict logical argument, if the things at stake are moral or emotional, we have both been through enough shit with enough people that we can take a breath, and a step back, and try and figure out why we disagree.

...

But yeah, that's the sort of arguments we have. But always kind, and always respectful and caring.

...

In particular I really REALLY disagreed with Chris Rock when he was talking about looking yourself in the mirror and saying "What can I do to please her" every day. Fuck you. Jessica does so many things for me that make me so happy. Little things like putting my bowl and spoon out for me for my breakfast in the morning, or scratching my head when we're watching a movie (or videosift), just lots and lots of thoughtful nice things, it's almost like she's getting up every morning and trying to think of ways to please ME.

And what's better then that- when I DO think of something to do that makes her happy, it's like I was a saint or something. I tell you, I love my life. Oh I mean I love my WIFE.

>> ^alien_concept:
^ Yep that's the kind of thing i'm looking for! Of course along with lucky and djsunkid's posts about how they don't suffer it. Wondering, would you say your ladies are special or that the stereotype is way off?

There ya go, that's gorgeous, thanks dj. And you're right I expect a lot of people will be jealous That whole thing also highlights a lot of points that I don't think people consider often, but I can't be fucked to outline anything now, i'm hungover, woe is me

All relationships are different.

My first relationship was exactly as Chris Rock described, and actually fits in with what I believe is the unrealistic female fantasy of a male within a relationship i.e. someones who is the knight and servant at the same time.

She was irrational and emotional about minor things like me being in all female study group at university, where I would need to call her and reassure her I wasn't banging them all at the same time while doing a report on dynamics of regional markets.

However in reverse this didn't apply, her being in a sausage fest of engineers was totally fine, and if you didn't know engineers do not get laid at university period.

I would go WTF Hypocrisy and she would retort saying that as a male am less trust worthy then her and should thus be watched. My biggest grievance was that she never would say am sorry in a honest way. That really annoyed me.

My second relationship was much much better, as it was two people realizing that it's two people in a relationship, so you would talk things out or someone would apologize and say that they are having a bad day or something.

It just depends. But yes Chris Rock hits the nail because as men we all went through that phase or are going through it. Whether it was a singular event one day, an entire relationship or god forbid a wife.

vaginas are stupid

Some people (men and women) have irrational expectations, are selfish, and/or aren't honest with themselves about what they want. Throw those things into a relationship and you've got what Chris Rock is talking about.

I've known a lot of girls who've dated complete douches, and guys in relationships with huge bitches. Some of them deserved each other, and others just didn't know it was time (or want) to get out. He's funny because you can see the truth in what he's saying, some have lived it some have seen it, but I don't think anyone should take anything a comic says (or anyone for that matter) as 100% serious and 100% true.

I'm a person who takes a long time and prepares extensively before making big decisions. But I'm almost incapable of caring about smaller decisions... where precisely to eat, what precisely to wear, whether to go to a small event or not, etc.. So to an extent my default lifestyle is 'go with the flow'.

Women who do care about the 'average' decision or who are more disciplined and orderly about smaller stuff get stressed out by me. 'How about (random restaurant I like), or (unrelated random restaurant)... no? well I literally just need food and would like to get that food while hanging out with you, the person who is more particular, so maybe you should decide... oh, you don't know what you want... okay...'

I hated constantly getting stalemated in the middle of a completely inconsequential decision in my last relationship. Either be decisive or 'go with the flow'!

I love women, they just don't love me. So I burn their houses down.

No wait, scratch that last one..

^Already alerting the cops, finally the woman's shelter arsonist unveiled!

*quality feminist hate propaganda

Awarding alien_concept with one star point for this contribution to Sift Talk - declared quality by rasch187.