personally i have a hard time fucking someone i don't admire or have feelings for. as for other straight males i think the phenomena dan is talking about is related to our culture's long history of sexual repression which has basically made us dr. jekylls/mr. hydes with regards to our sexual wants and needs.

Part of loving someone is playing a role sometimes, and changing between roles, and objectifying yourself for your loved one. I don't know if it's a cultural problem as much as a personal maturity problem that some people don't understand that.

>> ^Lodurr:
Part of loving someone is playing a role sometimes, and changing between roles, and objectifying yourself for your loved one. I don't know if it's a cultural problem as much as a personal maturity problem that some people don't understand that.


Does your "cultural problem" category include lack of or deliberately misleading sex education?

My mom taught high school health and english. She was very strictly limited on what she could say for the human reproduction portion of the health classes. She told me how students where surprised to learn that they could get sexually-transmitted diseases by oral sex. The sheer lack of knowledge is astounding.

But of course despite my mother's career obligations, I wasn't taught about sex from my parents. The solitary lesson from them taught to me was when I was getting some vick's vapor rub (I had a cold) to put on my chest out of the medicine drawer. There is vaseline right next to it and my mom told me to make sure I don't use that with condoms because it is petroleum-based and will eat away the condom. That was the only sentence uttered. When I reached college, I took a psychology class that was essentially a human sex education class. The teacher was brutally blunt and exactly what that class needed. Looking back on it now, I think something like that should be mandatory for all children before someone gets pregnant or an std.

i dont understand this at all really.
i do understand that there are some people that you just strictly want to fuck in crazy crazy ways and then not hang out with. at all. that makes sense.
but i dont think thats what hes talking about.

>> ^peggedbea:
i dont understand this at all really.
i do understand that there are some people that you just strictly want to fuck in crazy crazy ways and then not hang out with. at all. that makes sense.
but i dont think thats what hes talking about.


That is EXACTLY what he is talking about.

I think it would help if people understood their own biological and psychological triggers. Evolution has given us some pretty simple criteria that, when met, inspire profound lust. On the other hand, when we think of long-term companionship, that is generally modeled on the relationships we saw around us growing up (for better or worse). The two can be reconciled, especially with a little introspection and self-analysis.

Follow this man's advice and prosper.

Not.

I must admit, I have met women that I have been sexually attracted to that I couldn't stand to have a conversation with, and I have met women with whom I could have had a wonderful relationship but who didn't interest me much sexually.

Then, I met my wife, who is pretty much my perfect woman. I think the main difficulty is finding a person who you find attractive on all levels, and who feels the same about you. Honestly, before I met her I didn't think it was even possible.

Comment hidden because you are ignoring dag.(show it anyway)

She's reading over your shoulder as you write isn't she?
>> ^Psychologic:
I must admit, I have met women that I have been sexually attracted to that I couldn't stand to have a conversation with, and I have met women with whom I could have had a wonderful relationship but who didn't interest me much sexually.
Then, I met my wife, who is pretty much my perfect woman. I think the main difficulty is finding a person who you find attractive on all levels, and who feels the same about you. Honestly, before I met her I didn't think it was even possible.

The answer to all the mental conflict?
Just try it. Bring her down off the pedestal and do like he says. She'll like it. You'll like it.

>> ^dag:
She's reading over your shoulder as you write isn't she?


Of course not.

... and she wants to know why you would say such a thing.

do guys really have this problem?
wanting to fuck women who are equally horny,yet desire for a partner that is a passive,meek door mouse for a relationship?
and then get confused to why there seems to be a sexual schizophrenia in their life?
it is not that complicated.
if you do not desire your girlfriend in the beginning,yet stick around because she has great "susie-home-maker" qualities,you might as well prepare for the divorce now.
the same goes for the opposite.
having fantastic sex with a woman only to find she is an idiot who looks banging in a t-back.
look,
i am not telling anyone how to run their business but for you guys out there consider this:
as men we are visual.
give us something to look at and some friction and we be happy lil dudes.
women are wired totally different.
while they can be visual,they are not as single-minded as men.(we have all seen the ugly dude with the hottie and thought wha???).
for women the two strongest components are sensual (touch) and emotional.
the emotional is the biggest key for a woman.this component decides how far she will surrender to you.
i use the word surrender specifically for a purpose.
because at it's core that's what it is.
as men we do not think of sex as "opening up" but that is EXACTLY how a woman views it.if i have to explain that further you need help.
a woman surrenders to you,she allows you access.
she is the gatekeeper..(sorry..gozer reference.i'll stop).

now do not confuse a hook up with the sex a woman craves.
women get just as horny as men but in our culture it tends to be frowned upon.so they use excuses like being drunk or whatever to ease their conscience.a hook up is a woman using YOU for something she needs,something we all need.
touching,kissing,caressing and yes..orgasms!
and you thought it was due to your irresistable charm..you go right ahead and keep telling yourself that.
unless the woman is mentally deficient she just needed sex.
*hint* if you can keep your trap shut and not brag to your buddies 5 seconds after she leaves your room she will come back...and often.
BUT..this arrangement will never be long lasting because at it's heart it only serves the purpose of the body and a woman needs to have the heart nourished also.
this is where i do not understand the question put to mr savage:
when a woman feels safe and secure in not her emotions but YOURS,this is when she will surrender to you.
she will open up and give you everything.
so even miss meek quiet doormouse will reveal a sexual experience to you that you thought not possible.
ALL women have this in them.
she will reveal a side of her that NOBODY else,including YOU,knew existed.
be prepared for the ride of your life.not only will be the best sex you ever had with her but from anybody!
so yes..even missus susie home maker can be a porn star if she trusts you enough.
*note* by the way.you might as well get prepared because you my friend are getting married.

so the only thing i can surmise from this question is:
1.the questioner is young,most likely early 20's
2.he watches waaaay too much MTV and thinks thats how a young man is supposed to act.what up dawg?!?
3.does not realize that women pay attention to EVERYTHING.
4.so while he may be attractive and fun,they consider him a DAWG and will only let him in so far.being very aware of his promiscuous nature.
5.predominantly the women he experiences are other predators with breasts(girls can be just as DAWG as dudes,dont kid yourself),while the girls with things like:self-esteem,strong personality and a strong sense of self avoid him like the plague.
6.the quiet meek women this man has encountered are also buying into a lot of the media,socialized Bullshit and see him as a notch into a particular crowd.future stalkers of america!
7.has never been with a real woman because a real woman would only play with him like a cat does a mouse.
8.i could totally be off my rocker and just spouting nonsensical bullshit.
9.while that may be true...woman utterly fascinate me.

what was the question again?

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Pheromones.html

Sexual attractiveness is a lot more insipid than one might think.

In fact you could argue that one may not have control over what the reptile brain is striving for.

The urge to fuck may not simply be something you can control as easily as they say.

Also, it's not the Axe body spray driving women mad.

Maybe it has something to do with how aggressive, self-assertive people tend to be a lot more likely to walk out on you than meek, adaptive ones? If you're looking for a long-term relationship, chances are you're looking for something safe and comfy. That's rarely very exciting.