Three squares? Might as well wipe your ass with your hand. Which you probably won't have anymore if you use this device.

Robots.

At a certain age you really should be using moist towelettes. Healthy buttholes, people.

Everyone should aspire to own one of those advanced Japanese toilets with the water jets and stuff.

*dark, *comedy

Adding video to channels (Comedy, Dark) - requested by Zawash.

*absurd

LMFAHS

Not with Charmin.

Never has this acronym been more appropriate.

After spending a few weeks in Malaysia, I came to significantly appreciate the bent metal pipe in the few sit down toilets I got to use which points directly at el bunghole, with a tap to the side of the toilet. Turn that bad boy on and let soothing water wash away the burning chilli and curry from your screaming portal to the realm of Nurgle the poo, followed by a brief pat dry with just 2 squares of paper (not a lot of double ply over there, with a double or triple ply you could easily get the job done with 1).

You don't even need a proper bidet, I reckon a small metal pipe, some hose, couple of pipe clamps and you too could be riding the soothing rush of water cleansing your nether regions.

ps. The "portion cutting mechanism" really needs that *shrink shrink shrink* noise from a slasher movie, that motherfucker is going to town...

Have you not been following the efforts of sewer maintenance departments around the globe to educate folks on what can be put into a toilet? Moist towelettes are not something one should flush.

Paper, folks. Poo and paper is the only thing that should go into sewers.

We are wasting millions of dollars every year in maintenance because non-degradable stuff is getting flushed.

This PSA brought to you by Flush Away Safely.