Almost nailed 'em with Phillip

That last line is genius. Two days later and I'm still laughing...

enjoyed it too.

guess they couldn't go to the other tools on the list...

- bastard file
- dike
- bush hammer
- crack weeder

or what he may do as work...

- butt glazing
- erection drawings
- laying studs

Butt-Welding would have gotten him grounded for life...

And if you're a plumber you might be familiar with "sweating nipples"

I wish we had this in the US:

1. At 18, you go into two years of national service, PERIOD. Unless you're in a coma, you're going. And you're going to go someplace you're not from and be on a team with people you're not used to so that your millimeter-wide view of America gets forced open to a mile.

You will be evaluated for mental and physical wellness. If you're suffering from mental illness, you will get help. If you're struggling with weight or other physical issues, you will get help.

You will be helping out in communities that you are not used to seeing: rural, inner-city, black, white, Latino. You will meet gay people, hard-core religious people, prisoners, entrepreneurs, carpenters and mechanics. You will get to know their world and help them understand yours.

2. After your two years, you have some choices:

- You can go into the military and strengthen those skills you've shown an aptitude for.

- If you want, you can attend a trade school, fully covered.

- If you want to go to college, your first two years will be covered if you get a AA/AS. Should you go for a four-year degree, your first three years will be covered.

Imagine what kind of nation we'd be living in right now has this been done in 1990.

I can't imagine that's America though.

I dunno it depends. We used to have two years of compulsory military service and while you could get some basic qualification like truck drivers licence, for 99% of people it was two lost years of bigotry and bullying.