This is true and false. I knew many bullies who hurt people because they could--and it didn't matter if you showed them "feeling" or not. It didn't matter if you "gave" them dick, they took it regardless. Colbert is noting the vocal abuse, but there is a lot more than that.

*promote truthiness

Promoting this video back to the front page; last published Wednesday, July 20th, 2011 9:26am PDT - promote requested by LarsaruS.

>> ^Lawdeedaw:

This is true and false. I knew many bullies who hurt people because they could--and it didn't matter if you showed them "feeling" or not. It didn't matter if you "gave" them dick, they took it regardless. Colbert is noting the vocal abuse, but there is a lot more than that.


Of course it doesn't always work, but he has a very good point in that if we re-frame the meaning of a word it will have less power over us. Similarly if we manage to change how someone else perceives a word we affect them. "Santorum" is a good way of illustrating that point.

No, it doesn't work a lot of the time. But besides that, what happens when culture changes and bullies no longer affect people with verbal abuse? What happens when words don't have their desired pain? Then bullies move on to other means...that's all I am saying because we see that everywhere.

>> ^SveNitoR:

>> ^Lawdeedaw:
This is true and false. I knew many bullies who hurt people because they could--and it didn't matter if you showed them "feeling" or not. It didn't matter if you "gave" them dick, they took it regardless. Colbert is noting the vocal abuse, but there is a lot more than that.

Of course it doesn't always work, but he has a very good point in that if we re-frame the meaning of a word it will have less power over us. Similarly if we manage to change how someone else perceives a word we affect them. "Santorum" is a good way of illustrating that point.

Class act that Colbert.

Don't you think you're missing the point a little bit Law? These aren't videos detailing strategies to shut bullies up, its about giving bullied kids enough hope and selfworth that they don't end up killing themselves.

Seeing Colbert "play it straight" when speaking to gay people...irony at it's best. I love the whole It Gets Better concept. I wish I had heard the same thing when I was a kid dealing with bullies.
The bully he speaks of in the vid could have easily pounded the kids head into the sidewalk so I don't think it's necessarily a good idea to antagoize the bad guy. I see this more as a moral story, not meant to be taken so literally. But I do think that if turning the tables on the bully works, then maybe there will be one less kid who brings a Glock to school and get even a different way.

>> ^Jinx:

Don't you think you're missing the point a little bit Law? These aren't videos detailing strategies to shut bullies up, its about giving bullied kids enough hope and selfworth that they don't end up killing themselves.


This.

I had a bit of a hard time my last year at University, I was enrolled in a Theatre studies program, which meant working alongside alot of jealous backstabbing individuals in productions and junk. It's easy to forget that all the little trivial/shitty things your classmates say about you really don't matter. This really cheered me up.

Soooo.. Basically, what you're saying is bullies cause gays.

Well then, what causes religion? O.o

While it may get better, in my highschool, the kid who stood up for himself usually got himself curbstomped. If all you had to worry about is someone talking shit about you, kids wouldn't be killing themselves.

Colbert's anecdote feels nice and fuzzy, but doesn't address the humilating acts and daily terror some kids are forced to go through.

Tags for this video have been changed from 'it gets better, stephen colbert' to 'it gets better, stephen colbert, bully, power, words, calling names, queer' - edited by Eklek

Amazingly, I had almost this same interaction when I was 12:

Kid: You're queer!
Me: <reflecting> Yep.
Kid: I said you're fucking queeeeeer!
Me: Yes, I am queer.
Kid: Really?
Me: Yes, really.
Kid: You are actually really queer?
Me: Yes. I really am.
Kid: Oh. OK. I didn't know. <walks away>

The kicker is that when I was 12, I thought "queer" just meant "weird", which I was happy to identify with. It wasn't until high school that I learned it also meant "gay", and I had a good laugh about that incident.

Good message, but I second a lot of people's comments on the need for more.

I think it's well agreed that the victims aren't the problem. This video only speaks to the victims, and hopefully helps them cope internally with what they are facing. The issue is that the victims ability to change the situation is very limited.

The real problem with bullying is that peer groups generally tolerate or even encourage it. The biggest effort that needs to be made, and where I focus at my kids schools, is to get the kids who are NOT being bullied to learn the importance of standing up for anyone they see getting bullied. The only true way to reduce the impact bullies have is to ensure they are outnumbered and opposed when they try to bully anyone.

I keep looking for the origin of this quote: "Nothing is a pure as the cruelty of a child."

To think back at the type of bullying I was subjected to as a kid, as how much worse it was for others I knew... I wish I had the presence of mind to fight back then, not only for myself, but those who had it worse. When I had found the niche that was comfortable for me to deflect the teasing, I settled into a switzerland-like state in which I avoided bullying quite effectively, and yet, like Switzerland, I stood by as others continued to be subjected to it...

I suppose regrets are a part of reflection on our childhoods, but I always find myself apologizing when I meet one of these people later one in life, be it facebook or in person, I always say something along the lines of: I will always be sorry I didn't stick up for you.

The positive side is that I do now. I don't put up with any such shit and I'll definitely get in people's faces if I see anything remotely like what I saw as a kid. Or at least I try to...

>> ^bcglorf:

Good message, but I second a lot of people's comments on the need for more.
I think it's well agreed that the victims aren't the problem. This video only speaks to the victims, and hopefully helps them cope internally with what they are facing. The issue is that the victims ability to change the situation is very limited.
The real problem with bullying is that peer groups generally tolerate or even encourage it. The biggest effort that needs to be made, and where I focus at my kids schools, is to get the kids who are NOT being bullied to learn the importance of standing up for anyone they see getting bullied. The only true way to reduce the impact bullies have is to ensure they are outnumbered and opposed when they try to bully anyone.


I don't remember where I read it any more, but most efforts schools make are pretty useless. At least when evaluated scientifically. Most of the methods are spread by groups with economic interests, have very little effect and sometimes unintentionally make the bullying worse.

I stood up to girls who bullied/teased a friend once and it made very little difference except making me feel horrible as well. I know what I should've done differently now, but it is always easy to see afterwards.

>> ^Lawdeedaw:

No, it doesn't work a lot of the time. But besides that, what happens when culture changes and bullies no longer affect people with verbal abuse? What happens when words don't have their desired pain? Then bullies move on to other means...that's all I am saying because we see that everywhere.
>> ^SveNitoR:
>> ^Lawdeedaw:
This is true and false. I knew many bullies who hurt people because they could--and it didn't matter if you showed them "feeling" or not. It didn't matter if you "gave" them dick, they took it regardless. Colbert is noting the vocal abuse, but there is a lot more than that.

Of course it doesn't always work, but he has a very good point in that if we re-frame the meaning of a word it will have less power over us. Similarly if we manage to change how someone else perceives a word we affect them. "Santorum" is a good way of illustrating that point.



I guess it is different in different cultures. I have not seen it everywhere. It is true though that some people will then use violence because they like to hurt others.

Bullies always made me very angry. I sometimes think the person being bullied should have the law on his side in the way that everything he/she does is considered self-defence.

>> ^Jinx:
Don't you think you're missing the point a little bit Law? These aren't videos detailing strategies to shut bullies up, its about giving bullied kids enough hope and selfworth that they don't end up killing themselves.


I did not miss that point. Just because I didn't address it doesn't mean I didn't see it.

Now, if you want my opinion on that matter--I respect Colbert for doing this and think this is very big of him. Kudos to him. It is why I upvoted this vid. We need more celbs defending what is right, making what is right "cool" so that bullies have less ground to walk on.

Jocks are stupid.

8th-9th grade seems in my experience to be around the time kids grow the fuck up and stop bullying each other.

Also I was in 8th grade when Columbine happened so teachers took the opportunity to give serious lectures about not picking on people and not creating social estrangement. Someone else I know (from a different district) had teachers who did the exact opposite thing -- giving lectures about being on the lookout for weirdos. And she was the one who continued getting bullied and harassed into her 20s.

Also, even if you're not a jock, joining a sports team like cross country to get in shape helps. Getting ripped will make bullies think twice and make you fast enough to run away whenever necessary. It's good for your health and your academics too.

It's amazing how people will want to pick holes in videos like this, as though it's somehow offering definitive life advice that will work in any situation.

>> ^jwray:

8th-9th grade seems in my experience to be around the time kids grow the fuck up and stop bullying each other.


That's nice. Although I figure that was THAT year, at THAT school. My father got bullied by a few of the old crones in his retirement village until I got video of it and sued the place and settled for kicking the batty fucks out.

It.
Never.
Stops.

It tends to get better.

Those old farts were raised at a time when fewer people gave a shit about their douchebaggery.

Maybe they should change the title of the project to "It Tends To Get Better." That is more accurate.



>> ^jwray:

It tends to get better.
Those old farts were raised at a time when fewer people gave a shit about their douchebaggery.