Thanks for posting this, you beautiful asshole.

"Sometimes food is hot"
"You asshole, I've been working on that account for months"

Brilliant... and insane!

here's one: snapplefacts aren't always facts. sometimes they're completely false, and the only way to check if they're true is to visit snapple.com. this sucks when you've been memorizing inane trivia based on said facts for 13 years. kinda like you wasted your entire childhood...

oh, and i am scared shitless of trexes.

er, make that t-rexes.

What the fuck people!

I'd love to see the real team working on these. Snapple's pretty big. I bet they are in fact stressed.

"We need a fact that makes John-Q Snapple Jerk open up his cap, read it, wonder for a second... THEN GET FUCKING THIRSTY!"

Talk about LOLing! The two tigers story almost had me in tears.

Snapple really is a bad tasting drink.

TOO MUCH SHOUTING.

It's a great idea, but the delivery didn't work for me.

Snapple Facts

Years ago I read about a disgruntled Snapple employee who managed to gain access to the systems which print the facts inside the caps. He proceeded to create "Bob Kiley's Snapple Facts" which supposedly shipped on a few pallets worth before being noticed.

I suspect the story was a hoax though, or perhaps because, I've never been able to find any information on it again. The original article I saw had a photo of a dozen or so of the special caps. The only one I still remember was "I cum harder with a thumb in my ass."

oh ogd.. must breathe... that was terribly great.
"look, it's true. Just not snapple cap fact true."
"We're human beings, goddammnit! And life is too short for this shit!"
...
Moral of the story?
That beautiful assholes can save everyone's job.
You know, it really isn't a very good drink at all.

LOL! That was hilarious!

my [crazy] neighbor says that his brother invented snapple. also, that his wife's brother introduced the idea of "teamwork" to the nation of Japan.

crazy murray.

>> ^Maze:
TOO MUCH SHOUTING.
It's a great idea, but the delivery didn't work for me.


THE DELIVERY WAS THE ENTIRE POINT!

Hee hee, *dark *drugs.

Adding video to channels (Dark, Drugs) - requested by Krupo.

Hmm, #140, the Holland thing is true.

ROFL!

^how can you roll on the floor while you're typing?

^I know, what a liar.

#36 A duck's quack doesn't echo

#37 A snail breathes through its foot

#38 Fish cough.

#39 An ant's smell is stronger then a dog's

#40 It is possible to lead a cow up stairs but not down

#41 Shrimp can only swim backward

#42 Frogs cannot swallow with their eyes open

#43 A cat's lower jaw cannot move sideways

#44 The bullfrog is the only animal that never sleeps

#45 Elephants are capable of swimming 20 miles per day

#46 Elephants are the only mammal that cannot jump

#47 Giraffes have no vocal chords

#48 Cats can hear ultrasound

#49 Despite its hump...camels has a straight spine

#50 Mosquitoes have 47 teeth

#51 There is 63,360 inches in a mile

#52 11% of people in the world are left-handed

#53 The average women consumes 6lbs of lipstick in her lifetime

#54 The average smell weighs 760 nanograms *

#55 A human brain weighs about 3lbs

#56 1/4 of the bones in your body are in your feet

#57 You blink over 10,000,000 times a year

#58 A sneeze travels out of your nose at 100mph

#59 Brain waves can be used to power an electric train

#60 The tongue is the fastest healing part of the body

#61 Pigs get sunburn

#62 The lifespan of a taste bud is 10 days

#63 The average human produces 10,000 gallons of saliva in a lifetime

#64 Strawberries contain more Vitamin C then oranges

#65 A one-day weather forecast requires about 10 billion math calculations

#66 Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza a day

#67 There are 18 different animal shapes in the Animal cracker zoo

#68 The longest one syllable word is "screeched"

#69 No word in the English language rhymes with month

#70 A "jiffy" is actually 1/100 of a second

#71 There is a town called "Big Ugly" in West Virginia

#72 The average person uses 150 gallons of water per day for personal use

#73 The average person spends 2 weeks of its life waiting for a traffic light to change

#74 You share your birthday with 9 million others in the world

#75 The average person makes 1,140 phone calls per year

#76 The average person spends 2 years on the phone in his/her lifetime

#77 No piece of paper can be folded more then 7 times

#78 Alaska is the most eastern and western state in the US

#79 There are 119 grooves on the edge of a quarter

#80 About 18% of Animal owners share their bed with their pet

#81 Alaska has more caribou then people

#82 August has the highest percent of births

#83 Googol is a number (1 followed by 100 zeros)

#84 Oysters can change genders back and forth

#85 The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows

#86 Until the 19th century solid blocks of tea were used as money in Siberia

#87 A mile on the ocean and a mile on land are not the same distance

#88 A ten gallon hat holds less then one gallon of liquid

#89 The average American walks 18,000 steps a day

#90 The average raindrop falls at 7mph

#91 There are more telephones than people in Washington D.C.

#92 Fish can drown

#93 A Kangaroo can jump 30 feet

#94 Lizards communicate by doing push-ups

#95 Squids can have eyeballs the size of volleyballs

#96 The average American will eat 35,000 cookies in his/her lifetime

#97 A turkey can run at 20mph

#98 When the moon is directly over you, you weigh less

#99 You burn 20 calories an hour chewing gum

#100 In a year, the average person walks 4 miles making their bed

#101 About half of all Americans are on a diet at any given time

#102 A one-minute kiss burns 26 calories

#103 Frowning burns more calories then smiling

#104 There are more then 30,000 diets on public record

#105 You will burn 7% more calories walking on hard dirt then pavement

#106 You way less at the top of a mountain then sea level

#107 You burn more calories sleeping then watching TV

#108 Licking a stamp burns 10 calories

#109 Smelling apples and/or bananas can help you lose weight

#110 Frogs never drink

#111 Only male turkeys gobble

#112 At birth, a Dalmation is always pure white

#113 The fastest recorded speed of a racehorse was over 43 mph

#114 The oldest known animal was a tortoise, which lived to be 152 years old

#115 Bamboo makes up 99% of a panda's diet

#116 The largest fish is the whale shark - It can be over 50 feet long and weigh 2 tons

#117 The starfish is the only animal that can turn its stomach inside out

#118 Honeybees are the only insects that create a form of food for humans

#119 The hummingbird is the only bird that can fly backwards

#120 The only continent without native reptiles or snakes is Antarctica

#121 The only bird that can swim and not fly is a penguin

#122 A duck can't walk without bobbing its head

#123 Beavers were once the size of bears

#124 Seals sleep only one and a half minutes at a time

>> ^Trancecoach:
Snapple Facts


Actually, several of those were false. go through them if you want.

>> ^rottenseed:
^how can you roll on the floor while you're typing?


It would have been keeping with the spirit of the video to post that all in caps, and with superfluous exclamation points.

NO, IT WOULDN'T YOU FUCKER!!! !

Damn they're all as red as lobsters. They're each gonna have an aneurysm.

Hey SiftBot!

*Promote this post you beautiful asshole.

Promoting this video back to the front page; last published Wednesday, August 27th, 2008 6:45pm PDT - promote requested by beautiful asshole lucky760.

hmmm, with the new intellectual property laws, does Snapple now own all those facts?! Quick, someone buy up all the facts before Snapple rules the world!

If a Snapple cap is opened in the woods with no one around to see, is the property still protected by the DMCA section 5 paragraph 7?

Always deserving of a *promote, this video is.

Promoting this video back to the front page; last published Monday, November 3rd, 2008 11:03am PST - promote requested by Fjnbk.

Tags for this video have been changed from 'snapple, cap, facts, food is hot' to 'snapple, cap, facts, food is hot, john q snapplejerk' - edited by calvados

*reclaimvote, clearly.

>> ^pipp3355:
#43 A cat's lower jaw cannot move sideways

sure it can - you just have to break it first.


#65 A one-day weather forecast requires about 10 billion math calculations

Wrong. I live in southern california, and it requires only one. What day is it? Today? I predict sunshine.


#78 Alaska is the most eastern and western state in the US

so is every other state.


#89 The average American walks 18,000 steps a day

Somebody is walking a ridiculous amount to make up for me.


#94 Lizards communicate by doing push-ups

This is also the funniest known form of communication.


#95 Squids can have eyeballs the size of volleyballs

except, of course, those squid which are smaller than volleyballs.


#102 A one-minute kiss burns 26 calories

That's some weak kissing.


#118 Honeybees are the only insects that create a form of food for humans

Wrong - cows create beef. And, of course, pigs create pork, lambs create veal, deer create venison, etc.

"#118 Honeybees are the only insects that create a form of food for humans

Wrong - cows create beef. And, of course, pigs create pork, lambs create veal, deer create venison, etc."

... actually none of those mammals are insects.


Also, a cow doesn't create beef, it IS beef. Lambs do not create veal unless lambs slaughter calves.

*dead

This video has been declared non-functional; embed code must be fixed within 2 days or it will be sent to the dead pool - declared dead by critical_d.

Awarding oritteropo with one Power Point for fixing this video's dead embed code.

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