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Incredible Sex = Horrible Death

submitted by pumkinandstorm

1 decade 6 months ago

That's just the way life works.

14 Comments

jokingly says...

the number of daughter's orgasms = the number of inoperable tumors at the base of dad's spine

It used to just be the kittens that died.

"Well, you're kinda right honey. I caught your father watching you and Jack go at it, so I rigged his plane to crash."

ant

jokingly says...

Wow. That sounds like what male alates go through. They born, eat, wait, fly, mate, and then they die in their short lives. Hence, why I am still alive as a virgin male alate. If I ever have sex, then I will die.

00Scud00 says...

No, that's only for masturbation, if it's actual sex then god will kill a sentient being, and horribly if you had the nerve to enjoy it.

It used to just be the kittens that died.

LMFAHS

mindbrain says...

WAT?

The only way to interpret this is that she fucked her dad until he died,, right?

Makes it even weirder

And if it's not all that incredible sex, an opossum will simply get hit by a car on the freeway.

Airtight logic.

Way to gloat about your INCREDIBLE sex. Mom is like DOUBLE TAKE DAUGHTER WUT -- It was incredible?! Fuuuuuuuuuuuck, remain calm. Keep concerned mom face. Do not ask for details. DETAILS PLZ

Excellent excuse for poor performance. I've saved the lives of countless fathers. I'm a hero. My superpower is adequate sex.

00Scud00 says...

Logically the phrase "DOUBLE TAKE DAUGHTER" shouldn't sound dirty, but I would watch that film, repeatedly.

Way to gloat about your INCREDIBLE sex. Mom is like DOUBLE TAKE DAUGHTER WUT -- It was incredible?! Fuuuuuuuuuuuck, remain calm. Keep concerned mom face. Do not ask for details. DETAILS PLZ

MonkeySpank says...

Script writer was a cat. I know it!

criticalthudjokingly says...

thus far, my incredible sex has killed most of my family and half of nevada

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