It seemed to me like she was always close to crying. Contrary to what she said, I think more men do need to see this and learn about what women go through to achieve effective contraception.

Never knew diaphragms are so ineffective. Creepy.

http://www.4women.gov/FAQ/birthcont.htm

My brother was conceived when my mum had an IUD. They joke about how they were going to call him Houdini.

I didn't think the IUD was offered to women who have never given birth. This poor girl's experience is probably fairly typical for an untried cervix.

Apart from their failure rate, I wouldn't recommend the diaphragm for its difficulty in inserting properly, as well as its discomfort. Depending on which direction your cervix is pointing (it changes during your cycle) at the time, it can be tricky trying to know if you have it in right.

My boyfriend used to complain that it felt like he was banging against a rubber wall and usually it felt like I was stuffed full of rubber. It even makes a very distracting squeak!

I think just about every woman has some sort of complaint about contraception, seriously, we could go on... for instance, at one time, I was on a much higher dosage of the pill and at the beginning of every cycle for the initial three days I would magically transform into 'Super Bitch' and want to tear the throat out of anyone who looked cross at me... really, not a life enhancing experience. Fortunately, it only took me a few months to realize this was happening.

I'm no woman, but I think that to say that this is what women go through would be inaccurate. I've never known a woman that had an IUD. They would all rather go through whatever mood swings are inherent with the pill, the shot, the ring, the patch or whatever hormonal control they use than to suffer all that bad stuff that girl did.

MG, Unless you've dated an older woman who's already had a child, the chance of knowing a woman who's used an IUD is slim. Maybe you haven't spoken to many women about the effects of the pill on their body, because I know of many who cannot use it for a multitude of reasons.

I used to think the responsibility of contraception was split 50/50 between both partners, but I don't any more. Us guys have it so much easier and so much simpler.

It annoys me to no end that some of the great ideas for male contraception have never been brought to market.

The best invention I've heard of is a small bimetallic insert for the vas deferens. It creates an electrochemical cell when the spermies pass through, which deactivates them. But you can't get it anywhere. There's also a magnetically-operated valve that can be turned back on non-surgically if you decide you want kids. Also not available.

In the meantime, men's only options are condoms (high failure rate) and vasectomy (pretty damn permanent).

At least women have the pill, depo provera, iud's, diaphragms, female condoms, rhythm, foam, sponges, rings, patches, and sterilization to choose from.

Not that I'm saying all of those are ideal either, but it would make a lot more sense if men had more options too. It's much easier to stop the little wrigglers at source than once they're already racing to their destiny.

Contraception schmeption.
Just pull out! Ride the crimson tide! Don't let the woman climax! Don't shag on "the fertile day"! Make sure the woman is on top and make sure she is a virgin...virgins never get pregnant.

Not to mention the long term effects and possible side effects of using the pill... basically one of the big reasons I quit smoking years ago was (among the more obvious reasons) that when I started taking the pill I noticed that when smoking I would have extreme loss of circulation in my extremities... then I read up on all the side effects of combining the two: circulatory problems, blood clots, heart failure... it was a big reality check, and I had to choose, no babies, or keeping a filthy pointless habit. It was a tough call there for a while, but fortunately it turns out I was able to kick the ciggies.

Moral of story, nothing is perfect nor 100% safe... also, yeah, you dudes need more options so you can share the burden of this endeavor a little more completely.

close to a full 10 min, * long?

Ok. I stopped watching on her recommendation.

I have a friend who cant take the pill. Society has too much assumed that the Pill solved everything for everyone and mens responsibility was completely ended (or irresponsibility justified).

Like arvana, I'd like to know more about male options. I don't just think that my responsibility towards contraception is not something that is covered by the actions of someone else, but that I'd like to have some participation/control/contribution to that situation.

I remember an episode of Coupling where the main couple are seeking a fertility assessment. When asked how long they have been trying, the guys answer is either "not very long" or "we haven't started yet". Her immediate reply is something like "6 months". The point being that their birth control was her domain. She took responsibility for taking it, and so when she felt ready to try for a kid, she just stopped taking it. This was the first he knew of this. I know this is a comedy, but in principle, and especially outside of a relationship where your expecting it, it's not a responsibility to shirk.

The women that I have talked to have always told me that hormonal control does fuck with their bodies.
And because condoms suck and no guy really wants to wear them, I think that guys should pay for (at least half) of whatever contraception his girlfriend/wife uses. It's only fair to the women in a monogamous relationship where the couple does not use condoms.

Comment hidden because you are ignoring dag.(show it anyway)

I'd like to have removable balls.

^ For you to suck on (has to be said in the voice of triumph)

I see tons of problems. Havent you heard the song detachable penis?

To complement arvana's comment:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vas-occlusive_contraception

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Contraception_for_males

Since we're talking about how condoms are no fun: a squirt of lube inside a condom makes the experience *way* more pleasurable for a guy. Almost like you're not wearing one at all. Astroglide's great stuff, well worth it, and there are cheaper lubes which are just as good (although you might have to shop around to find the good ones available to you). Seriously, lube's so good that I make a point of going and getting more if I'm out. One of our local Montreal sex columnists wrote that it's her favourite sex toy.

Just actually watched it. She is cool. Good vid.

Calvados, you don't have a problem with them slipping off, with the lube inside?

Vasectomies are linked to higher rates of prostate cancer if I'm not mistaken.

Not much to add re contraception except that if whatever chosen method of birth control does happen to fail there is at least one alternative to surgical abortions that I've personally seen work half a dozen times. The herbal mix of black cohash, blue cohash, and pennyroyal tea has, in my experience, a 100% success rate. (Consult and/or research first, of course.)

Oh sure, there are plenty of 'herbal remedies' for pregnancy... parsley, mugwort, the seeds from Queen Anne's Lace... but really qualm, I wouldn't go depending on stuff like that as an answer to all your troubles. Seek out the help of a medical professional.

i'm just trying to figure out how you get to personally see a herbal abortion work. and then, how do you see it five more times? yikes.

@perse: Not at all, in my experience I really don't think lube will have an effect that way. If the condom's way too big or if buddy is trying to fuck with a soft-on, then it might come off (regardless of lube), otherwise no.

As long as we're on the subject of condom size, there's zero need for the 'dome to be skintight. Guys: There's supposed to be a slight bit of movement between it and your cock. If it's on there tight like shrink-wrapped cellophane on a supermarket canteloupe and doesn't shift at all when you give it a stroke, 1) it won't feel particularly good, and 2) equally important, a snug condom is a condom that's much more likely to break. (Let me emphasize however that it shouldn't be so loose that it just slides off if you grab the tip and pull, else it might come off inside your special friend, as perse noted.)

Seriously, with some lube and the right fit, condoms don't suck much; sex feels almost as good as bareback, rather than a pale shadow of itself. Nobody should think they have to choose between safe sex and good sex.

.".. but really qualm, I wouldn't go depending on stuff like that as an answer to all your troubles. Seek out the help of a medical professional."

An answer to all my troubles. Very nice. I didn't say anything about any medical condition except unwanted pregnancy. You're pretty patronizing here.

Maybe you should go see an optometrist; you know - the people for whom the glass is always half full.

"i'm just trying to figure out how you get to personally see a herbal abortion work. and then, how do you see it five more times? yikes."

It's actually pretty easy to understand, MINK. First somebody gets pregnant. Then they take the stuff. Then they're no longer pregnant. Neat, huh? Think about that for a while until it sinks in. lol

All I am saying qualm, is that personal experience (experimentation of my own and I even worked in a natural health store for a few years) has led me to doubt most herbal remedies... yes they can be helpful additions to a person's general health regime etc etc, might even help cure or alleviate some basic stuff like the common cold... but as for relying upon herbally induced early term abortions as an effective method of birth control versus seeking out the advice of an actual health care professional, seems kind of cavalier, especially considering the complicated nature of a woman's reproductive system.

Which brings me back to my firsthand experience with this... while working at said natural health store, I saw just about every sort of 'natural' birth control method ever invented, be they herbs, or counting one's cycle, or whatever and heard lots of women who bought into it say over and over again how wonderful it all was... but you know what the common thread was that tied them all together? They all had a lot of kids. Not, in my mind, a stellar endorsement for such things.

I'm sorry you can't take criticism for something qualm, but you're just going to have to accept that maybe, just maybe, not everyone agrees with you.

lol. Funny, but I've re-read my post a few times now and I still can't find any general endorsement of herbal remedies there. Maybe I'm just not reading carefully enough. What I did testify to was the fact that one particular concoction - black cohash, blue cohash and pennyroyal tea - works, and I've seen it work half a dozen times. I was putting this out there for women who aren't comfortable with the surgical abortion option, which as you may know can be quite traumatic and painful.

Both my parents are doctors, btw. One sister is a doctor. And my grandfather. So just try to guess what you can do with your assumptions.

Comment hidden because you are ignoring dag.(show it anyway)

Despite the invective - this is a very interesting thread.

I wonder what the author might think, were she to find this thread. Maybe she'd join in

> I'd like to have removable balls.

I'm sure with the right tools and a can-do attitude, those balls wont present much of an obstacle.

qualm, an infusion of black cohash, blue cohash and pennyroyal tea is an "herbal remedy"

ps. how nice for you that you can just phone up a family member for some medical advice, but for the rest of the viewing audience... my recommendation remains the same: seek the help of a health care professional before you go messing around with your (or the person you love's) uterus... which really, is the only point I have been trying to make... My 2 cents, as all I wanted to do was state the obvious when it comes to mucking about in that area of a woman's anatomy, which is to exercise caution, you only get one uterus, and you can't grow another, be kind to it.

But anyway qualm, I'm done arguing with you about this- and frankly, you can take your own uber defensive and toxic attitude and stick it wherever it is you derive the most pleasure... in the future, I promise to try my hardest to ignore your antics about the sift, and spare you any of my 'patronizing attitude'.

I've used black cohosh and I can tell you it's powerful stuff. It will have your uterus contracting within an hour or so of taking it. If you've never used it before, I recommend you get some advice from a herbalist before taking it, making sure you explain what purpose you have in mind, then you'll get all the information you need about dosage, effects etc.

vasectomy! seriously, it's very easy to get surgically sterilized if your gonads are on the outside, it saves everybody a lot of worry, and its reasonably reversible.

I got mine for free from the state of California since I had low income at the time, took about 8hr of my life, and a weekend in bed with a good book, didn't even need the vicodin they gave me.

I would never ask anybody to go on the pill or get an IUD, I went under the knife instead, and I'm so glad I did.

and its reasonably reversible.

...for a mere $10,000.

I, too, would prefer reliable male contraception. I don't want to have to rely on the woman to take care of business. I'm not suggesting that women are unreliable or untrustworthy, but a pregnancy is as much my responsibility as hers, so I'd feel safer knowing I'm covered even if she's not.

Of course I'm not having sex so I guess I am covered.

The IUD of death that she mentions is the Dalkon Shield.

The first thing that comes to mind when I hear "IUD" now is a roadside bomb in Iraq.

Comment hidden because you are ignoring dag.(show it anyway)

>> I got mine for free from the state of California since I had low income at the time

Hmm, is that a real program in CA, or just state medicare?

It sounds like subtle eugenics. - Poor? Let us sterilize you for free!

Heh, dag, there are many good catchphrases for eugenics with that setup...

Feeling unintelle.. unintilli.. dumb? Free sterilization!
Failed your SAT's? Chin up with a free sterilization!
Having that non-arian feeling? Why not get a free sterilization!

Good stuff.

This is why I only have butt sex.

The first thing that comes to mind when I hear "IUD" now is a roadside bomb in Iraq.

HaHahaha, Nice one

I've always found them to be a tad frightening as well, both in form and function... don't think I'd ever get one, the idea just freaks me out.

That's great, corvid. Because you and I both know that you were way over-anxious to make me seem like som superstitious 'magical-thinking' hippie with a hand full of rune stones. So I'm glad you're going out of your way now to back-pedal so much. Glob knows you've got a lot invested in this ghetto. And if I let you really have it you'd probably melt like a compass-witch.

"In a terse 7-0 decision today, the Colorado Supreme Court affirmed the decision of the state Title Board's approval of a 2008 proposed ballot measure to bestow constitutional rights on fertilized human eggs.

Seven reproductive health advocates filed a legal challenge in August 2007 arguing that the ballot measure authored by Colorado for Equal Rights and approved by the all-male state Title Board did not meet the state's single-subject issue rule and was deceptive in its purpose.

The Court disagreed with the plaintiffs and affirmed the Title Board's action for proposed Initiative 36 which reads:

Shall there be an amendment to the Colorado constitution defining the term "person" to include any human being from the moment of fertilization as "person" is used in those provisions of the Colorado constitution relating to inalienable rights, equality of justice, and due process of law?"

http://www.truthout.org/issues_06/111507WA.shtml

Re eugenics, if the sterilization is "free for the poor" but the reversal is not, then thats definitely going in that direction.

qualm: let it go... just let it go

">> I got mine for free from the state of California since I had low income at the time

Hmm, is that a real program in CA, or just state medicare?

It sounds like subtle eugenics. - Poor? Let us sterilize you for free!"

I walked into planned parenthood, filled out some forms, they handed me this green plastic card, said "your procedure is covered by the state, but once you have it STD tests stop being covered", so I came back in two weeks and lay on a table for 20min and lost access to state paid for STD tests.

If my rate of serial monogamy turn over was higher that might run me a few buck, but I had them run all the tests before the procedure, and haven't needed a comprehensive screening since.

I thought the poor -> sterilize was kinda creepy at the time, but since I'm white and upper-middle class I figured it was a good hack.

As for the $10k price tag, 5min of googling gives me prices around $4k, which while still not cheap, is not ridiculous, and considering all the money you saved on consumable birth control, and the fact that breeding is an expensive endeavor any way you slice it seems rather inconsequential.

I saw a figure a while back claiming - IIRC - that around 48 percent of all personal bankruptcies (sp?) in the US are due to medical bills. Not surprising when I see costs like dgandhi's above.