*promote a loving family

Self promoting this video and sending it back into the queue for one more try; last queued Friday, May 30th, 2014 4:09pm PDT - promote requested by original submitter eric3579.

As someone who can personally relate; if my parents had been that accepting, I wouldn't have all the cuts and burns I do today. I wouldn't have spent my entire childhood and teenage years wishing I'd never wake up. If my parents had been like this, I wouldn't have made my first suicide attempts at age 9.

We need parents like this. Parents who are brave enough to stand by their child and their happiness even when society around them wishes to tear them down.

This is a great story of parental acceptance, I guess I just don't understand what's wrong with staying a girl but identifying yourself as a girl who likes boy things.

Granted, that may be harder to accept, but shouldn't that truly be the overall message of acceptance? Accept who you are, love yourself, and if society doesn't like it, fuck society?

I guess explaining that to a 5 year old would be tricky, though.

Dysphoria goes way beyond that. I still enjoy boy things. If you want to call them boy things. That's one issue there: we gender activities and clothing needlessly.

Instead, it's a matter of your body being completely and utterly wrong. To the point where looking in the mirror is a nightmare to be avoided. Absolutely no pictures. For the longest time I couldn't even recognize myself in a photo without trying. It didn't come naturally for me like it did with other people. That picture just *wasn't* me. It was *wrong*.

So yeah, in his case, being a tomboy and being transgender are completely different places on the spectrum. A tomboy doesn't feel pain over their appearance the way a transgender would. I remember first finding out that boys and girls actually had different parts. I wished every night that it would fix itself, until finally, at age 11, I resolved to remove it myself. I didn't succeed, but the scars still exist.

Additionally, the "he" and "she" parts are painful. It's the same as if someone picked a mean nickname for you and refused to ever acknowledge your real name, but insisted on calling you by the offending one instead. It's our identity. It's part of the core of who we are, and by ignoring that, you ignore us. You ignore one of the most fundamental things that makes us who we are.

You'd be surprised just how much kids ages 3-4 understand gender identity and roles. I mean, most of our childhood is learning societal roles we play, and kids really pick up on that. So when a transgender kid sees other girls being treated one way, and they're being treated like the boys, or vice versa in this boys case, it's demoralizing beyond understanding as a 4 year old.



I don't mean to rant at you, but I hope that helps you understand why it's different for us. Oh, and I also didn't go into the science of it. But strictly speaking, our brains are different. Chemically, and even physically, we exhibit the sex characteristics of the gender we identify with. Even the hormones our body produces naturally due to our natal sex causes great discomfort and pain until they are eliminated. Even minor doses can go a long way to eliminating the physical pain we feel.

There is nothing wrong with being a girl that likes boy things, but as shatterdrose points out, gender identity and gender role are different things.

I think this is a cool short video explaining the complexity of human sexuality: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXAoG8vAyzI

*quality

Boosting this quality contribution up in the Hot Listing - declared quality by UsesProzac.

*doublepromote

Double-Promoting this video back to the front page; last published Friday, May 30th, 2014 4:09pm PDT - doublepromote requested by bareboards2.

This paragraph. This made me understand.

Thank you.

*equality

Adding video to channels (Equality) - requested by Zawash.

No my friend, that is only the beginning. Ultimately we need communities, culture and societies like this, not just parents. The strength of parents is the greatest first stage, but beyond that lies the world, and that can be just as damning.
From my own experience, which I'm certain doesn't compare to yours, I had an amazing and loving family, but it can only do so much in the face of social prejudice.
No one could ever appreciate what your life has been like, but by sharing your experience, painful or hopeful, you help us all evolve. Even if it's a little bit, sharing what you've been through makes it all not for naught.
<3