Because I think I know how all of you see me...


Brother Choggie seems to believe that I received 90 votes for this recent video because, he suggests, I’m an ass-kisser.  As flattering as those words are (smooch smooch), I believe people really vote for me because they enjoy my tales of suffering, shame, humiliation, degradation, insecurity, inadequacy, and general stupidity.  These sad mini-confessionals make you feel better about yourselves, at my expense.  In other words I believe these are pity votes.  Not as good as pity sex, mind you, but I’ll take what I can get. I imagine your thought processes go something like this:

Oh God, kp just submitted another pathetic video?!  Why does he do this to us?!  Oh well, the poor schmuck really has nothing else going for him, so I guess I’ll upvote it anyway.  It’s the least I can do for a sifter with a little dick.

So who’s right, fellow sifters and sifterettes, Choggie or I?  If I’m right then signify by upvoting everything in my queue, and if Choggie’s right then signify by upvoting everything in my queue.  You’re supposed to pity me, remember?

smibbo says...

neither of you are right: I vote for you because you whine a lot and I am trained by motherhood to respond to whining. I could punish you with downvotes but I also know you are lazy, and the punishment will do no good since you won't look to see who did the downvoting, so I upvote in the vain hopes that you'll have nothing to whine about and hence shut yer trap for good and bring me cookies. Alas, my jar remains empty, but I'm an optimist like that.

JAPR says...

Looking at those comments you linked to, I remember why I find you to be one of the funniest members on the sift. Even if you are pathetic.


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