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effin98 says...

I think her point is that not only is it ok for women to speak about rape and assault, but also about other elements of sexual relationships that are both non-criminal and crucial. I don't know about you, but I've (1) never been rapey or weird; (2) had lots of great sex with lots of great people; and (3) more often than not navigated sexual behavior through non-verbal cues. In fact, many of the best sexual encounters I've had progressed solely upon non-verbal cues. So if for nothing more than the magic of sex (and if course there is more), I support women discussing men who can't read a vibe. BUT forchristsakejustdontputhisdickinyourmouththen.

newtboy said:

It's what I dislike.
She calls him out publicly, a definite attempt to hurt him professionally, for not picking up on non verbal cues....allegedly given while his date was naked in his bed and engaging in sex in the dark but never verbalized, Sam has zero idea what those nonverbal cues were or if she even sent them.
Her private message to him was somewhat appropriate (but showed her lack of maturity to have gone through the bad date, slept with him, actually gone to sleep in bed with him, and only later decides it was unacceptable). Going public with a bad date and pretending it's a "me too" sex abuse story was outrageous imo, and only (severely) harms the anti sex abuse movement. He may have deserved blue balls, not to be blackballed.

I like Sam, but I think she's on the wrong side of this one. It's 100% up to the woman to communicate her discomfort clearly, not on men to pick up non verbal cues of discomfort given in the dark while they're also giving verbal cues to continue. She never said stop, she said slow down, which means continue, but slower. Verbal cues trump non verbal cues 99.999% of the time.

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eric3579 (Member Profile)

effin98 says...

Sometimes I reply within the five month mark! Seriously, for as often as I visit this beloved site, I have woefully taken little advantage of what I suspect is an excellent online community.

eric3579 said:

Are you the type of person who intentionally waits 30 months before they get back to someone? Playing hard to get

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eric3579 (Member Profile)

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