Frankie (kitty) is NOT a smoker, by the way. Frank Sinatra was!

^Chat Noir.

It was late at night in a seedy sift talk post when she walked in. Like a tall bowl of milk on a hot summers day, but a bowl of milk that only made you thirstier as you consumed it. 'Isobel', she said with a sly twitch of whiskers when I asked her name, "spelled with an O instead of an A." 'Oh' I said..... lamely.

I knew I should get out of their immediately. At 5 years old, she was nearly 10 times my senior and you don't even want to know how many 'cat years' that added up to. She was smart and worldly. She'd eat me alive, like so many table scraps on a Monday morning.

"Frankie Spade", I said "Private Dick." A very private dick to be exact. Had I been named Frankie Spayed, it would have been closer to the truth. Fortunately for me, she'd had the operation too.....

As it turned out, the iPod headphones that she so loved to play with had all gone missing at the same time, and she suspicioned that the job was done by one of her two shady humans. But why? Why would a human do something so terrible? That must certainly understand our attachment to those precious thin wires and how good they feel on our teeth when we bit them. So after a moments pause, I decided to follow her home, and no sooner had we entered her beach apartment, then she had pushed me to the floor. We wrestled and chased each other for hours. She was a kinky one; she liked to use her teeth and claws....

The Chairman Of The Butt's endorsement doesn't mean shit to me. After he got busted with that catnip I lost all respect for him.

^If you wanna sing like the Butt, you gotta nip like the Butt.

I love the new avatar. Horrible presidents singers with cute kitty faces are the best. I'm going to photoshop my cat's face onto Dubya Dean Martin right now. Thanks for the inspiration!

^That's not FDR, it's Sinatra in his most iconic photograph. An eclectic music fan ought to know that. Franklin D. Butt = Frankenbutt = Frank Sinatra. Frankie has had more names than a Catholic identity thief, so I guess that explains some of the confusion. When will your hatred of the elderly and social security cease?

Haha, sorry, I just thought because we were talking about FDR so much so recently that you were making a statement. My hatred for social security will never cease. I cannot believe I have to pay into such a sham, and I cannot believe my parents bought into that sham, as well. Now, they're paying for it because they want to retire and cannot. When we reach retirement age, I hope we've got a decent egg saved for ourselves.

^Hmmmm... so you think FDR an awful President, Sinatra an awful singer. I'm guessing you also think Michael Jordan was a terrible basketball player and John Holmes had a small cock. Am I right, contrarianfist?

Haha. I am a contrarian! Still, I'm not a fan of FDR. I'm also not a fan of Abe Lincoln or Andrew Jackson. Sorry, just because they have their faces on our money doesn't mean I have to like them. Thomas Jefferson was a terrible president, too; even if he's the man I most admire in our history. As for Sinatra, I was just being silly. As for... who? Michael Jordan? Whoa! That man is a national treasure! And John Holmes' cock isn't small, it just tastes small.

^Upvoted for the last sentence only.

What? You think I'm just being a contrarian all the time? I can't have a perspective that isn't just me playing devil's advocate? They were all bad presidents. All of them. I was serious about my parents getting screwed by social security, and I'm not sure why that comment necessitated a downvote. If they would've invested the same amount of money they were forced to pay to the government for social security, they'd have a great nest egg right now. Instead, the government decided that monthly poverty level payments are fair.

But, that's evil capitalist gibberish I'm speaking, right? The State should take care of all of us.

*quality

Awarding dystopianfuturetoday with one star point for this contribution to Sift Talk - declared quality by kronosposeidon.