>> ^dystopianfuturetoday:
If you don't mind, pm me your suspects jonny. I promise I won't reveal them.

If rottenseed is indeed my sock puppet, then he'd better fucking get to work on my queue.

Choose your own adventure joke:
1. If I WERE your sock puppet, I'd be too semen-encrusted and wedged between the mattress and your floor to upvote your videos
2. Your submissions are so bad, even you can't bring yourself to vote for them twice.

>> ^dystopianfuturetoday:
If you don't mind, pm me your suspects jonny. I promise I won't reveal them.
If rottenseed is indeed my sock puppet, then he'd better fucking get to work on my queue.

Choose your own adventure joke:
1. If I WERE your sock puppet, I'd be too semen-encrusted and wedged between the mattress and your floor to upvote your videos
2. Your submissions are so bad, even you can't bring yourself to vote for them twice.

I personally would like to welcome our new golden-semen-spewing sound-altering Jerry-Garcia-wannabe overlords.

I "graded" your quiz

1. What do you do when you are not at the computer?

• Paint - That figures
• Watch DVDs - Wow you don't leave the house?
• Attend movies - By yourself most likely
• Work Sudoku puzzles - Afraid of real math?
• Get together with friends - Free meals at the soup kitchen don't count as "get together with friends
• Dine at restaurants - Translation: Dig in the dumpsters behind restaurants
• Attend art presentations - Staring at the back tattoo of a tranny prostitute hardly counts as "attending art presentations"
• Attend Mac meetings - ...
• Visit art museums/exhibitions - You already said that, but then again you probably don't have much going on in your life
• Take digital photos and videos - Draw "cave paintings" on the walls of the overpass you live under.
• Attend parties/receptions - Always the crasher never the invitee?
• Read books on art - Read...books...on...art. hmmm...fascinating

2. What is your favorite of your posted videos?

“MANtage” - you spelled "MANspooge" wrong

3. How many avatars have you had since being a member? What were (are) they?

Ten
• dot art – levee break waves
• dot art – 40 shades of blue
• dot art – green Chinese lion
• dot art – purple design from plaster relief
• dot art – leopard-like patterns
• dot art – eye shapes orange on black
• rainy windshield photo
• Dutch Alley blur
• pond goldfish photo
• Chinese dragon float profile photo (current one)
^Just can't quite encapsulate your mediocrity through visual aids, eh?

4. What non-self-involved site do you visit most often?

Apple Movie Trailers - To look at coming attractions nobody will ever invite you to see

5. If you had a time machine would you keep it clean?

Clean?!? What does that mean?!? - You know, clean like how you feel after your bimonthly dip in the sewers

6. What is your ratio of pairs of shoes to underwear?

1: 21 - Make that 1/2 : 1

7. Is that underwear boxer, brief, or birthday?

Boxers - Women's panties

8. Do you run a Mac OS, Windows, or Linux?

Mac OS - Coincidently Mac & Cheese is your main source of nutrition too

9. Would you most prefer to be involved in a monumental one-of-a-kind hiking expedition, working on a breakthrough cure for a debilitating illness, or presenting the discovery of a revolutionary new way to parse data?

presenting the discovery of a revolutionary new way to parse data - Pretending to have a girlfriend while dry humping his semen encrusted matress

10. What is your favorite ice cream topping? Favorite (non-ice-cream-related) spice?

Topping – chocolate syrup - By the time you get to the ice cream, it's already melted
Spice - saffron - Dried eucalyptus leaves

11. Are you a tits, ass, or legs man?

Yes - Translation: "I'm desparate"

12. What kind of pet(s) do you have? Include name(s).

Used to have cats:

Red (orange tabby) - killed and ate it
Storm (gray tabby with white socks – picked out Spring 1991 during Desert Storm) - Road kill that you found and dragged around on a leash for the summer of '91
Pierre (peppered fur mix) - Make believe animal that keeps me company during those lonely nights

13. What kind of pelt(s) do you have? Include name(s).

None. However, a former girlfriend brought me The Australian Lucky Pouch when she returned from her trip her trip Down Under. - Hahahaha! girlfriend...that's rich

14. What is your favorite kind of soup?

Turtle with a splash of sherry - Whatever's being served at the shelter

15. What is your most frequented source of news?

WWL Radio - 2 week old newspapers that you use to wipe your ass

16. What is your beverage (poison) of choice?

Iced Tea - "...you know how I know you're gay?"

17. Have you ever been arrested?

No. - The Phantom Pooper still hasn't been caught

18. What’s your go-to move for making a good first impression?

Get a person talking about her/himself and pray its not over my head. - Try not to get close enough to the person to be smelled

19. How would you describe your coif: bangs, balding or rug?

Thinning - HAHAHAHAHA

20. Is your face clean-shaven or do you have a beard, a goatee or a mustache?

Beard - Translation: I can't afford a razor

21. List your five most cherished possessions.

• House - Cardboard box
• Volvo - Shopping Cart
• Mac - & Cheese
• Camera - Old crayon or feces drawn on walls and sidewalks
• DVD player - "I can't play it, cause I don't have a TV but it sure is pretty and it'll score me a couple crack rocks"

22. What religion, if any, did you practice as a child?

Roman Catholicism - suppressed memories

23. What about now?

Same. - Translation: I do to little boys what was done to me

24. What is your favorite memory?

Surprise trip to Disneyworld even though us kids were told to pack for Gulfport, MS - Finding a quarter on the ground

25. What was your favorite childhood television show?

“Speed Racer” - It was really "My Little Pony"

26. How would you describe your personal style/sense of fashion/taste for life/artistic flair?

personal style – put my stamp on what I do - Translation: I fart wherever I am
sense of fashion – I like color, except the days I prefer black - "OH, woe is me I'm such a DEEP artist type"
taste for life – take time to appreciate whom I’m with, where I am and what I’m doing - Translation: Sit in an alcove yelling at people who don't give me spare change
artistic flair – experimentation and reinvention - Translation: Crap nobody will like and stealing other people's work

27. What is a reason not to go to Burning Man?

I already live in a hot climate. - No transportation, no friends, no car, no water, you're missing a shoe

28. Who is your favorite Sift Hero?

Fedquip - Translation: Rottenseed

29. Do you have any image(s) of yourself online that you're willing to share?

‘Will link shortly. - "uh...er...well you see is, I'm horribly disfigured and I hope everybody will forget about this question"

30. What goal to you have while a Videosift member?

Contribute to the “good of the order.” - Find somebody that'll love me for the stinky, poor, pseudo-artist I am

31. Do you upvote comments more for their originality, sense of humor, or self-deprecation?

I upvote on impulse, PERIOD. - "I can't read."

when asked the same question: "Who do you care more about, Videosift or your family?" Kronosposeidon responded in a similar manner only there was more semen stained panties lying around the house.

when asked the same question: "Who do you care more about, Videosift or your family?" Kronosposeidon responded in a similar manner only there was more semen stained panties lying around the house.

The question is how does dystopianfuturetoday know how much calories human semen is? *raises eyebrow*

Yeah, go ahead and laugh it up McCain haters. You all just don't understand a true maverick when you see one (hint: it has nothing to do with Top Gun).

John McCain doesn't play by your rules, because he thinks out of the box, lives off the grid, calls 'em like he sees 'em dreams impossible dreams and lives in the moment.

-John McCain uses a hammer to eat his breakfast cereal and a spoon to hammer his nails.

-When going to the movies, John McCain buys 3 tickets and then just sits in the aisle for the duration of the film, growling at anyone who passes by.

-I once saw John McCain destroy a parking meter with his bare hands. He took all the dimes and nickels, but left the quarters.

-John McCain brushes his teeth with shaving cream; shaves his face with shampoo; washes his hair with with whipped butter and takes his bagels with a thin coating of his own semen.

-John McCain is a rebel, and a living tribute to American individuality; if Ayn Rand were still alive, she would try to stuff John McCain into her vagina in a vain attempt to assimilate his many powers.

You go ahead and spout your fancy words, trying to understand the enigma we've named John McCain, but John McCain has no use for fancy words or names, because words and names are merely labels, and mavericks have no use for labels.

Henceforth we shall call him Mhlellgbnhwyllxinoufrn, the messianic man-servant of creeping infinities.

"You have brought your semen outside our home!?"

i wouldn't exactly call harold & kumar movie GREAT but i'll upvote for 'semen'

>> ^MarineGunrock:
I hear Mt. Dew can flavor one's semen if consumed in large quantities (2L or more per day)

OH Really MG?!! What's it taste like?!

I hear Mt. Dew can flavor one's semen if consumed in large quantities (2L or more per day)

^My intellectual comment for the day

The Semen Sharpshooter is my school mascot. The band's trombone section is a little provocative, but has a lot of school spirit.

hahahaha...semen sharp shooters

"Princess Di was just a slut for sex, when they looked in the car; a wreck; her dress was wet with arab semen stains"

I almost fell over with laughter. If we can't make fun of our celebrities... who will? "Even anal finger lickers"