A long, long, long, long time ago
Before the wind, before the snow
Lived a man, lived a man I know
Lived a freak of nature named Sir Psycho

Sir Psycho Sexy that is me
Sometimes I find I need to scream

He's a freak of nature
But we love him so
He's a freak of nature
But we let him go

Deep inside the garden of Eden
Standing there with my hard on bleedin'
Theres a devil in my dick and some demons in my semen
Good God no that would be treason
Believe me Eve she gave good reason
Botty looking too good not to be squeezin'
Creamy beaver hotter than a fever
I'm a givin' 'cause she's the reciever
I won't and I don't hang up until I please her
Makin' her feel like an over achiever
I take it away for a minute just to tease her
Then I give it back a little bit deeper

He's a freak of nature
But we love him so
He's a freak of nature
But we let him go

I got stopped by a lady cop
In my automobile
She said get out and spead your legs
And then she tried to cop a feel
That cop she was all dressed in blue
Was she pretty? Boy I'm tellin' you
She stuck my butt with her big black stick
I said "what's up?" now suck my dick
Like a ram getting ready to jam the lamb
She whimpered just a little when she felt my hand
On her crotch so very warm
I could feel her getting wet through her uniform
Proppin' her up on the black and white
Unzipped and slipped "ooo that's tight"
I swatted her like no swat team can
Turned a cherry pie right into jam

(chorus)

Hello young woman that I love
Pretty punk rock mamma that I'm thinking of
Hold me naked if you will
In your arms in your legs in your pussy I'd kill
To be with you, to kiss with you, I do miss you
I love you

Lay me down...
Descending waves of graceful pleasure
For your love there is no measure
Her curves they bend with subtle splendor

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the funk will make me freak
If I should die before I waked
Allow me Lord to rock out naked
Bored by the ordinary time to take a trip
Calling up a little girl with a bull whip
Lickety split go snap "snap"
Girl gettin' off all in my lap
The tallest tree the sweetest sap
Blowin' my ass right off the map
Ooo and it's nice out here
I think I'll stay for a while

I hate being downvoted, so I want to explain why I'm such a killjoy about this - sex is a fascinating subject and being the perv that I am I practically never pass the chance to joke about it, but I just found this talk far more informative than comedic - and mind you, I didn't really find it illuminating either, since there were only a couple stories/facts that a sex-obsessed internet user couldn't have read by then. I realize there were a lot of jokes thrown in there, too, I just didn't find a single one of them funny (+ the speaker constantly laughing at her own jokes didn't help), which is why the audience came off to me as immature, nervously giggling at the slightest mention of semen.

P.S. That, and wearing shawls indoors. I just can't stand that.

When it comes down to it, you're only paying for the software that you may or may not use upfront. That's the ONLY difference (other than the OS). I wouldn't mind if they made MacOS available to everybody. I have a theory that that's how they hide how much their OS is actually worth. If they're not on the competitive market, it's a giant mystery. They're the ones that benefit from the mac vs pc wars...

In reply to this comment by dag:
I don't usually think of it as "hardware" and "software" it all just fucking fits together into something beautiful. Good luck with that HP fingerprint scanner btw - I'm sure HP will be fully behind that gadget for the next 5 years.

If I am forced to split it up then yes- I'm willing to pay $250 more for the software that I use for 12 hours of my life every day. Then I'm also willing to pay another $250 premium for a hardware design that supports those 12 hours.



In reply to this comment by rottenseed:
So you're saying the OS is worth $500???

>> ^dag:
It's the hardware and the software - working together well to make a good user experience. and a third thing that is rarely mentioned. There's a small sample of. Steve jobs' semen under the apple key of every mac sold - so yes, magic.

>> ^rottenseed:
>> ^dag:
If a computer is just a shopping list of parts for you- then I agree you're probably not suited to a Mac.

um what else would it be? "magic"?

Comment hidden because you are ignoring dag. (show it anyway)

I don't usually think of it as "hardware" and "software" it all just fucking fits together into something beautiful. Good luck with that HP fingerprint scanner btw - I'm sure HP will be fully behind that gadget for the next 5 years.

If I am forced to split it up then yes- I'm willing to pay $250 more for the software that I use for 12 hours of my life every day. Then I'm also willing to pay another $250 premium for a hardware design that supports those 12 hours.



In reply to this comment by rottenseed:
So you're saying the OS is worth $500???

>> ^dag:
It's the hardware and the software - working together well to make a good user experience. and a third thing that is rarely mentioned. There's a small sample of. Steve jobs' semen under the apple key of every mac sold - so yes, magic.

>> ^rottenseed:
>> ^dag:
If a computer is just a shopping list of parts for you- then I agree you're probably not suited to a Mac.

um what else would it be? "magic"?

So you're saying the OS is worth $500???

>> ^dag:
It's the hardware and the software - working together well to make a good user experience. and a third thing that is rarely mentioned. There's a small sample of. Steve jobs' semen under the apple key of every mac sold - so yes, magic.

>> ^rottenseed:
>> ^dag:
If a computer is just a shopping list of parts for you- then I agree you're probably not suited to a Mac.

um what else would it be? "magic"?

Comment hidden because you are ignoring dag. (show it anyway)

It's the hardware and the software - working together well to make a good user experience. and a third thing that is rarely mentioned. There's a small sample of Steve Jobs' semen under the apple key of every mac sold - so yes, magic.


>> ^rottenseed:
>> ^dag:
If a computer is just a shopping list of parts for you- then I agree you're probably not suited to a Mac.

um what else would it be? "magic"?

If you want a reader's digest to this crappy thread:
-blankfist likes little kids
-he drinks semen
-he likes being fisted
-something clever about the Navy
-a$$gr@vy references
-libertarian ron paul and stupid political non-funny stuff
-something unintelligible by burdturglar
-somehow choggie gets pulled into this (thanks shepppard)
-clever attempt to make your name look like an acronym (i told you chicks aren't funny)

...and the rest is just burdturglar hogging the thread

From the urban dictionary link above:

"Oh darn, there goes my appetite, for the semen trees in front of the South Campus Dining Hall are in bloom."

I've noticed that smell too outside a few times. Don't know which plant causes it though. Some googling turned up Bradford Pears:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=semen%20tree

I think they call them semen Ask bf he would know.

You dirty, semen-sniffing up-sucker.

LMAO at the bestiality scene... but I never want to see it again.

Was it.. semen-y?

^ The whale was named after the milky-white waxy substance, spermaceti, found in its head and originally mistaken for sperm or semen. -wiki

Scientists still do not know the precise purpose of the spermaceti organ. It is believed that it controls the whale's bouyancy, to assist it in diving and ascending. It is also possible that the organ is used to amplify and direct the sound waves, that the whale uses for echolocation. -random website

*** SPOILERS ***

1. He "recycles" his semen orally.
2. Enjoys spanking himself
3. Poops pants

How could this person be dumb enough to put it on YouTube? Maybe after you're fired it's okay.
I remember reading about a kebab place being closed because there was semen in the garlic sauce, oh well, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger I guess.