Paypal has otherwise friction free lodged itself quite deep in my asshole on several occasions. Bring on the non rectum violating alternatives!

>> ^Payback:

...you assume it was an accident. I assume it was an "accident", much like the urban legend about the guy who "accidentally" sat on a beer bottle and it got lodged in his rectum.
Are you implying she was having sex with a drying rack?

aww man, I fell into the chasm that is internet insinuation.

In reply to this comment by Payback:
Sorry, I forgot to click on the non-existent "Facetious" checkbox. :

In reply to this comment by BoneRemake:
I did not assume anything, the same information mintbbb has is what I have. She filtered EIA from that information and eia is a bad channel call with the information at hand.

Heh ?

In reply to this comment by Payback:
>> ^BoneRemake:

"A student had to be cut free from a clothes horse by firefighters in a freak accident that has gone viral on YouTube."
An accident is not Eia, eia channel is willful.

nochannel

Wtf
British
Viral
Fail at.. sleeping ?


...you assume it was an accident. I assume it was an "accident", much like the urban legend about the guy who "accidentally" sat on a beer bottle and it got lodged in his rectum.

I did not assume anything, the same information mintbbb has is what I have. She filtered EIA from that information and eia is a bad channel call with the information at hand.

Heh ?

In reply to this comment by Payback:
>> ^BoneRemake:

"A student had to be cut free from a clothes horse by firefighters in a freak accident that has gone viral on YouTube."
An accident is not Eia, eia channel is willful.

nochannel

Wtf
British
Viral
Fail at.. sleeping ?


...you assume it was an accident. I assume it was an "accident", much like the urban legend about the guy who "accidentally" sat on a beer bottle and it got lodged in his rectum.

>> ^BoneRemake:

"A student had to be cut free from a clothes horse by firefighters in a freak accident that has gone viral on YouTube."
An accident is not Eia, eia channel is willful.

nochannel

Wtf
British
Viral
Fail at.. sleeping ?


...you assume it was an accident. I assume it was an "accident", much like the urban legend about the guy who "accidentally" sat on a beer bottle and it got lodged in his rectum.

With my utility belt, I'm smooth as Henry Fonda
Pounding nappy dugout on the hood of this Honda.
The fine young bitches, I serve and protect 'em.
The fine young prairie dogs all up in my rectum.

random hero? hyperbole much?

I don't think he empowered anyone thru hurting himself, drinking excessively or getting a toy car stuck in his rectum.

It's still sad to see someone lose a close friend tho.

>> ^gwiz665:

Knowing Gaspar Noe, I have a good idea which void he's talking about..


The Rectum?

"Now, if you're like me you might be asking yourself, 'Hey SuperMagnetMan, what would happen if I inserted a large magnet into my rectum?' Well, I think this impressive demonstration will really blow your mind...">> ^nach0s:

>> ^Seric:
That guy seems simultaneously very friendly and incredibly creepy

Sometimes, to learn something really cool, you have to put yourself at risk of non-consensual intercourse.

1. My online moniker is the first 8 letters of my high school nickname. The whole thing wouldn't fit on the scoreboard of a late 80s pinball high score board.
2. I was mute for a week with strep throat, and still managed to seduce someone using only physical comedy and facial expressions.
3. I've logged 79 of the 110 Messier Objects.
4. I once killed a groundhog because he was a legitimate threat to my food supply.
5. I can do amazing things with a map and compass.
6. I can do something with my tongue that I've never seen another human do. (This is in no way related to #2)
7. Al Gore once beat me in a foot race.
8. I can sing the theme to Land of the Lost.
9. I live closer to a trailhead than a gorcery store.
10. I am the only member of my family to live more than 25 miles away from where I was born.
11. I owe #10 to my time in the US Marines.
12. When someone asks "are there any questions" I almost always ask "What's the atomic weight of beryllium?"
13. When someone tells me the title of a book they're reading, I almost always ask, "did you get to the part where he dies yet?"
14. I can tell time and navigate by looking at the sky.
15. I love fast, upside down, looping rollercoasters, but the merry go round makes me sick.
16. I once filtered and drank mosquito infested muck as an alternative to dehydrating.
17. I bought my first couch at age 41.
18. I've never purchased a car, although I have bartered for many.
19. I once saw a medical professional use a frozen hotdog to insert a condom into a drunk guy's rectum.
20. I owe #19 to my time in the US Marines.
21. To this very day, I still have dreams about the Leonids Meteor Storm I saw in 2001.
22. I can prove the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus.
23. My favorite number is 23.
24. I brew damn fine apple cider.
25. I have seen many amazing things.

First things first, anal leakages of VideoShit. My name is thinker247, which means that I don't take time off from thinking, even when I'm sleeping. And in my sleep I could roast all of you like the testicle-kabobs that you are.

I told you motherfuckers to keep Blankfist away from the children, and now he's balls-deep in the kids and religion channels. Soon he'll be strutting around, preaching the virtues of anal deflowering as a method of salvation. Just like Oprah.

BeggedmetoPeeonher tells a yawn-inducing story worthy of some podunk Arkansas town's ratty news dish, and we're all supposed to fawn over it like Perez Hilton falling into punji stakes made of cocks.

The "Jester" pops his head in to make some serious announcement that he's made a million times, without even saying a word in jest. Hey Jester, you're as funny as rottenseed is relevant.

Speaking of rotten.cum, his appearance was as necessary as ovarian cancer and not nearly as comical. He couldn't buy a joke if he was Carlos Mencia. But enough of Flavor Flav's oreo baby...

It's time to fuck MrFisk. And unlike your dad, I'm not going to use a condom and I don't care if you tell your mom.

Where to begin with someone whose career hasn't begun? Seriously, of all your articles that I never read, they were terrible. And why pick the Nebraska paper? It's not like any of you can read more than the E at the top of the eye test. And that's only because you all guess.

Some of the fellow sifters mocked your employment at a porn shop, but it doesn't bother me that you were a blow-up sex doll. I just don't understand how you could stand having random semen forced into you every day. You had more douchebags grabbing your vinyl than a hipster music store.

I would write more, but I'm kind of bored...like anyone in Nebraska at any given time of the year.

Also, everyone at this roast has disappointed me. Except for thinker247. What a comedy stud. All of you should take a lesson from him. Seriously, give me money, assholes. I'm the king and I get this kind of worthless response? MrFisk, I'm sorry you had to be here for this. Mainly because there's a cow with a broken heart and an intact rectum, somewhere in Omaha.

Fuck you all.

I'm totally unsure as to what technique these images are shot at, BUT in scout films (which are low dose backscatter images for reconnaissance purposes) you can see nonmetallic objects in peoples rectums, and diapers, and shit inside of diapers, and even whether or not someone is wearing a tampon. I'd have to know what Kvp is used to make a better guess as to whether or not these scanners would pick up radiolucent materials lodged up into a rectum, but I'm fairly certain they will be high energy enough to see a diaper (since it's on the outside of the body).

but, i'm not sure how they're going to handle the diaper issue. lots of adults wear diapers and there's no way to tell on film if the diaper is soiled or if it's loaded with explosives. how embarrassing for everyone involved.


>> ^joedirt:


Why x-ray anyone when it can't detect anything in your rectum? What is the point? There is not safety in it.
You realize backscatter cannot detect someone wearing a diaper full of powder. The ONLY reason for any of this is the DHS director is making money for every new machine installed. PERIOD. The groping is only to make sure everyone "willingly" goes through the new machines, so as to justify buying more. PERIOD.

DERP DERPDITY DERP. I repair TV broadcast antennas, therefore radio waves are safe.

You do realize X-ray equipment can be dangerous? You do realize that these backscatter X-rays are nothing like what you are used to. They are low energy and only pass a few mm into the skin. I would say the backscatter isn't generally harmful to adults, but no one has studied effects on testicles, corneas or children, and all credible experts agree this will lead to increased skin cancer especially on the top of the head.

What if you fly daily? What if you are a cancer patient?

Why x-ray anyone when it can't detect anything in your rectum? What is the point? There is not safety in it.
You realize backscatter cannot detect someone wearing a diaper full of powder. The ONLY reason for any of this is the DHS director is making money for every new machine installed. PERIOD. The groping is only to make sure everyone "willingly" goes through the new machines, so as to justify buying more. PERIOD.
>> ^bobknight33:

I agree the radiation aspect is a non issue. I have been repairing X-ray equipment for 1/2 my professional life. >

When you fire to kill a target, a weapon can go empty in a few seconds. So, three-four seconds and the clip is empty. You have five guys doing that and you multiply that by 5...so, the average clip, 15...X5, 45 rounds in seconds.

If someone survived that reasonable volley, I would have to think they were a zombie and get the flamethrowers out...

Also, it takes a murderer 1 second to draw a gun, and one second to put it to a cop's face and pull the trigger.

My point is, of course they are taught to continue firing--and why not? When a cop is in doubt, they try again. When they are in doubt and don't try again---they die. It is easy for us to gainsay them...

Away from the topic of reasonable training (In regards to lethal situations) I would say that the average American person would not understand why this would be assualt. They would think it fine---right up until they had it done to them. And then! OMG! What a violation of THIER rights...

>> ^csnel3:
>> ^robbersdog49:
>> ^mgittle:
Moral of the story:
Poking a cop in the kidney with a dildo gets you instantly handcuffed.
Pretty sure that would be the case in any country/culture across the globe.

Except in america. Who'd like to speculate what an american cop would do if poked like that?

Ok, I'll go first.
Here in Portland Oregon (west coast, USA) the police would either Beat you to death, Taze you to death or, shoot you to death and then shoot you some more ( I believe they are trained to empty their weapons regardless of the results of the previous rounds). I hear In New York (east coast, USA) they would just sodimize you and drop you off at the ICU with the dildo in your rectum tamped in with a nightstick or broom handle.Not exactly "Death by Snu Snu", but close.

>> ^robbersdog49:
>> ^mgittle:
Moral of the story:
Poking a cop in the kidney with a dildo gets you instantly handcuffed.
Pretty sure that would be the case in any country/culture across the globe.

Except in america. Who'd like to speculate what an american cop would do if poked like that?


Ok, I'll go first.
Here in Portland Oregon (west coast, USA) the police would either Beat you to death, Taze you to death or, shoot you to death and then shoot you some more ( I believe they are trained to empty their weapons regardless of the results of the previous rounds). I hear In New York (east coast, USA) they would just sodimize you and drop you off at the ICU with the dildo in your rectum tamped in with a nightstick or broom handle.Not exactly "Death by Snu Snu", but close.