Futurama - Fry's 100 cups of coffee has been added as a related post - related requested by OverLord.

Robocop Fried Chicken Commercial has been added as a related post - related requested by ant on that post.

(Intro)
Okay y’all. One thousand words in two minutes
Let’s do this
Yo...
(Verse 1)
In a couple minutes I'ma have to kill it
All the haters that just sit up on the web
But they will say that they don't feel it
But I'm never gonna listen to these idiots who dumb as fuck
I'll punch 'em and I'll kick 'em and I'll hit 'em with an uppercut
They told me that I got a record that I gotta break it
Get your woman naked in the garden she’ll be talking stank
I’ll fill my lungs up full of air and bust you till I hyperventilate
A thousand words, a hundred twenty seconds imma get it straight
I'ma grab the mothafuckin' sun and take a bite of it
I see a rapper try to say he sick but he a vitamin
You know that Mr Mac up on the track like it's a Viking ship
I rip the fucking beat up in to bits when I go psycho quick
All the ladies in the world is like "I love you, Mac"
I fry their brain up in your fuckin' noggin' when I bust a rap
I find a beat I really wanna kill and then I do
And all the mumble rappers in the game are dumb and sounding stupid
I’m an artist with a plan and stacking money in the videos
If that shit is a gimmick, tell the truth I wanna spit it slow
You don’t like the way that I be rappin’ fuckin’ sue me
I’ma get up on the stage and whip it out, just call me Louis
I’ma kill the crew but danny Mac is lethal with the skill
I am the king, I order you to have a pizza every meal
You acting cheesy like a bag of Doritos
I swear to god I’ll tape your mouth shut and throw you in the back of a vehicle
I’m a missile with the flow, I’m like a rapid torpedo
I got a gun up in my hand the size of Danny Devito
But now you sinkin’ like the fuckin’ Titanic
If anybody want a piece of this I’m thinner skinned and having to plan
Now listen to me, I don’t give a fuck about the shit that rappers meant
The world of fuckin’ choppin’
There’s a hundred million chapters baby
I could probably squat a fuckin’ elephant for fifty reps
I need to breathe a little bit of air right now and get my breath
I climb right up the wall like I’m a ninja with a weapon
I’m an angel and I’m evil pulling bitches up in heaven
Everybody call me Lethal, I’ve been rapping twenty years
And walk on water like I’m Jesus only rappin for the cheers before
I get up in the ring and fight a rapper I'm a black belt
And my hands on broken glass so I can leave the fucker battered
I’ma hit them with a bat right in the head until they dead
And make him take back all the dumb and stupid words he ever said
Let me take a breath so I can get back on the drums again
And sneak up on you like I’m the Phantom of the Opera
With a mask over my face but my teeth under your throat
And then I’m drinkin’ every droplet of your motherfucking blood, my friend
I’m just a product of Peter, the clip will pop in the heater
I got the spots of a cheeta
So when the gotta da vida
You better walk away
I’m rapping like a lunatic up on the mic and post it up on YouTube for the stupid chips
(Where’d you go?!)
(Verse 2)
So let me take another breath, I’m lookin’ hella dope
And I’ve been poppin’ since I made the pancakes cook up on the stove
And all you rappers up on YouTube had to treat me like the pope
‘Cause I’m the fuckin’ original
And you’re just huffing the chemicals and you’re just suckin’ like tentacles
Anybody this lyrical better just know I’m coming with the illest flow ever
Tryna kick that bull shit, you get your toes severed
Flames comin’ out my lungs you know I’m crushin’ every drum that ever popped up in the war path
Burning everything that I can see or smell or hear
That starts a fire in the sky and that’s the mother fucking forecast
People wanna say “Mac just raps fast. Really, he ain’t sayin’ shit”
You just mad ‘cause you can’t speak alien
Let’s do it
Gotta spit a lot of fuckin’ words in just a little time
I’m about to put a bomb inside your soul so I can blow your mind
I make it look so easy everybody wanna try it
But your lungs will probably suffocate and then you’ll end up dying
I’ma take a sword and cut my fuckin’ capillaries open
Lava coming out my mouth and all my raps are fuckin’ smokin’
Anybody wanna try to play the game with Mac is losin’
I be comin’ like a wolverine and show my teeth and chew ‘em
I’ma bite a silly rapper on the throat until he bleedin’
I’ll be taking every dollar out your pocket, now we even
I’ll be taking every crumb right off your plate, that’s how I’m eating
What the fuck you gonna do? I‘ll crack your soul and then I reach in
I’m the best that ever did this, other raps, they’re not a match for me
You gotta know that I can drop a line so hard it cracks a tree
I poke you in the eyeball with a microbe
Now you have to see that when I rap I don’t have to breathe

Oh shit! Two minutes and three seconds!
Well that was one thousand and thirty words
New world fuckin’ record! Yeah!
Oh shit... new world record

I still wear my t-shirt from that time....

This is your cat.... (drawing of a cat lounging)
This is your cat on drugs.... (same cat drawing)
This is your cat on a hot skillet. (drawing of a frantic cat flailing in a smoking frying pan)
Any questions?

Pretty much any permutation is better than the hyperbolic original.

Love Ozzy but I think his brain is beyond fried.

They should do this test again and replace boiled beef with chicken fried steak bits under gravy.

Squirrels are stupidly determined little fuckers when it comes to nuts.

I used to have a bar fridge out on my patio and one day, I threw a bag of peanuts into it because it seemed like a good idea at the time. Anyway, the next day I came out onto the patio and the fridge door was open and the nuts were gone. The little bastards actually chewed through the soft magnetic strip holding the door closed and managed to get the door open and abscond with my hard-earned nuts.

I got even, 'tho -- kinda.

On the corner of our block, we had this big green thing that was a cover for some pretty high voltage stuff underneath. I threw some peanuts under the gap between the cover and the ground and waited. Sure's shit, here comes one cocky fucking squirrel lookin' to score my nuts. Under the cover he goes then --FLASH!! -- BOOM!! -- victory over squirrels! Only he took the power out for the entire block and the surge fried my brand-new Pentium Pro computer. Oh, and one of my neighbors narced me off to PG&E who were none-too-happy with my brilliantly-laid trap and my erstwhile vengeance over genus Sciurus.

I know a lot of people would ask me, "Well, what did you learn from all this?", to which I'd reply, "Not a damned thing."

It occurs to me this may be a highly regional food item. Cheese curds are really just chunks of (typically) mozzarella or cheddar cheese. Usually about the size of a regular or large marble. They can be bought fresh, or at restaurants you'll generally get them deep fried. That's what White Castle had a few months ago, and they were not quite MN State Fair quality (which are divine), but pretty damned good for the price.

If you want the best possible unfried cheese curds though, look to Wisconsin. In rural areas you can get them ridiculously fresh, and you'll know if you have - they squeak when you bite into them. That stops happening in less than a day, regardless of how they're kept.

Edit: Cheese curds are also a vital component of poutine, a Quebecois dish. French fries, cheese curds, crumbled bacon, and brown gravy. So goddamn bad for you / delicious.

Speaking of LBJ, my 7th grade teacher told us that whenever LBJ invited dignitaries to the White House for dinner, he would always order fried chicken from the kitchen.

He did this because he wanted to watch these people of fashion, quality, rank and standing, eat with their fingers.

@smr
Well, there was a fight over the definition of butter too, but not what you described.

I think the biggest difference is the possibility that the public could confuse one product for another.

The public uses nut milk as a substitute for animal milk, you put it on cereal, in shakes, dunk cookies in it, etc. It's a white liquid that differs in taste, but is made to be close to animal milk.

The fight over "butter" as a definition happened between butter and margerine. The butter people, at one point even lobbied for a law making it so magerine could not be sold in the color yellow. It makes sense to some degree. They are similar products. They are used in almost identical application.

It's probably the case that nothing like that happened with peanut butter because it's not close enough to regular butter to be confused as churned milk fat.

One could argue that people may put peanut butter on toast with jelly with their breakfast, possibly; but they'd know what product they are using. No one would try to put a dollop of apple or peanut butter in a pan to fry up some eggs. They are night and day different products and it's not as though one would be confused about what you were getting into with the purchase of apple butter instead of butter.

Whereas milk vs almond milk seem similar enough, and butter and margerine are similar enough and both used the same; the FDA then decided that a distinction should be made.

Space is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist, but that's just peanuts to space.
-- Douglas Adams, Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy

Space; It seems to go on and on forever...but then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you.
-- Fry, Futurama

Basically there's lots of space.

I prefer butter, brown sugar, and cayenne pepper, pan fried. Yum

Lyrics -

Verse 1

Blowin something sticky word to pre-cum dicks
Im wit ma team in this bitch, and we all getting lit
I mean the weed hella loud, like a teenage chick
And we been smoking for a minute, yeah we blowin on that ganja

And now I'm huffin and puffin, I'm choking on that bong
And the dope im on is bomb I'm smoking that Vietcong

Getting real high
Watching funny videos of bill nye
Tell me that this jam isn't still fly --

Bill nye theme song

now im getting hungry than a muthafucka
put some chicken nuggets in the oven at 400
whered I put that honey mustard
lookin all around the cupboard for that muthafucka
until I discovered a custard, I covered wit butter from last week.

How long do them thangs keep?
Guess I better ask jeeves
go get ma computer but im staring at the damn screen

Damn D, you forgetting what ya task be
The puff puff pass, gotcha gassed
Now ya man is fucked...

Chorus

And i was tryna get a little buzz, so I took a little puff
but I think im way too high

and I aint wanna come off like a bitch, so I took another hit
but I think ma brains too fried

and yeah im fuckin faded but I hate it
im praying that I make it
afraid im goin to dieeeee

I'm too blazed, it's too late
to save Dicky from this fuckin place, cuz he too high

Verse 2

now im freakin out up in this bitch
cant control it and ma homies passin round another spliff
so I bolted to the BR
Consulted with the mirror

Lil Dicky please step up, you pathetic
Cuz the weed in you beating you
then all a sudden im on the toilet beating ma penis blue
but I aint cummin because as im imagining fucking something

that pretty girl im humping
becoming my fuckin cousin, or mother or brother
or some other fucking disgusting person

ma brain is bein strange, cuz im high as a plane
I aint deranged, im just saying it's a violent strain
So I go back to the back where they packing up cigars
Dipping snacks, kicking back, staring at some Avatars

Then I flipped, took a decade and a half to make that shit
Yet they couldn't put a second and a half up in that script

How the fuck a human being wanna fuck a
Blueish green 7' 3'' tail having ass thing
Man im high as fuckkkk

Chorus

And i was tryna get a little buzz, so I took a little puff
but I think im way too high

and I aint wanna come off like a bitch, so I took another hit
but I think ma brains too fried

and yeah im fuckin faded but I hate it
im praying that I make it
afraid im goin to dieeeee

I'm too blazed, it's too late
to save Dicky from this fuckin place, cuz he too high

verse 3

rock hard cock, cuz im watching katy perry
in her video the whole world's made of candy

damn...I aint even got no candy
so now at the fucking c store

where ya man be torn than a mafucka
peanut eminems or a twix
cant commit, so I count the benefits on ma hands

goddamn now im weary of the man -- yeah the cashier
homeland, Nazir!

s-s-s-so damn tweaked I cant even cross the mothafuckin street
gotta wait until that muthafucka's green

now im back up at the crib, and im laughin at giraffes long necks
gotta shit, but the path to the bathroom is complex
crafted a long text, took about an hour
took a scary shower, now im sitting naked on the ground

man im fucked up. I'm bout to call ma mom up and tell her what's up.
This sucks im high as fuck.

Chorus

And i was tryna get a little buzz, so I took a little puff
but I think im way too high

and I aint wanna come off like a bitch, so I took another hit
but I think ma brains too fried

and yeah im fuckin faded but I hate it
im praying that I make it
afraid im goin to dieeeee

I'm too blazed, it's too late
to save Dicky from this fuckin place, cuz he too high

outtro

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