If you're a dude, supposedly it'll make you live longer... A Russian guy I work with recounted a saying to us while he contemplated the same question:

"If a man stays single, he lives like a man, but dies like a dog
But if he marries, he lives like a dog, but dies like a man"

Maybe it lost something in translation...

I can't tell you why you should get married, but I might be able to explain a bit about why I got married.

... heh, so many reasons are all jumbled up in my head, but when I try to turn them into sentences, the sentences that form are WAY too cliche and cheesy.
"Becoming a family" (not with kids- but now that we're married, we're family)
"A recognition of the unity of two people into a stronger whole" (kinda like voltron)
Love and affection. Trust. Commitment.

Basically it really just seemed/seems right. No, scratch that, it is right.

There are definitely advantages of being married that I hadn't anticipated before. People respect your relationship once you're married. Actually, they even respect you more.

Also, it makes yer family WAY happy.

If you want to have kids, I think having a successful marriage is an important prerequisite. We don't want kids, but I feel like we could- that our love is strong enough now. (We're just not financially stable, nor do we want to settle yet)

Yeah, it's hard for me to write coherently about marriage, but I will say this: I am really liking it. But we got married on our own terms, and both agreed to reject any definitions of marriage except our own. Since we're the ones living our lives (our life, now) we get to choose our own relationship.

Why so you can bitch about taxes as they apply to married couples?

so you can pay through the nose to bring together loads of people you've chosen not to see for years in a big churchy building run by a section of society whose fundamental beliefs you wholeheartedly disagree with.

and for love goddammit. do it for love.

Because you'll make kronosposeidon so happy.

Good point blanky, why on earth would you want to inflict yourself on someone like that?

The wedding presents?

To make me an honest woman.

So you can let yourself go?

It worked for me for 16 years...then, not so much. I thought it was "the thing to do" but luckily in todays society marriage is not a forgone conclusion for people wanting to shack up or have kids. I have learned to never say never, but I'm pretty sure that I will not remarry.

Marriage is a construct of the church and sanctioned by gov't around the globe. These are two bodies it seems you have "issues" with anyway so I would think long and hard on that.

You can't anyway, prop 8 passed.

I know what you're thinking though, blankfist. Why complicate a relationship? Why would you take the beauty out of a relationship where you're there because you care for the other person but your choice to leave is as easy as a decision and a rough couple of weeks following the break up? Why would you make it so that if one day, you didn't feel like you wanted to be with somebody, you don't want to leave because of how intertwined your life is with that person?

In my opinion marriage forces people to stick together despite their relationship being unhealthy or dysfunctional because it's too much of a pain in the ass to get a divorce (and getting a divorce would be admitting a failure). This compounds the unhealthy relationship until it gets so ugly, there's no choice. The future is not a certain thing, especially when you're dealing with people so why give a promise to somebody who may one day change? Hell, you're gonna change too.

One of the arguments for marriage (usually by females) is that it's a commitment, and a promise to them. I think it's more of a romantic sentiment that you're with somebody because you care about them and even though you can leave at any time, you decide to stay. In marriage, you make that initial commitment, but after a while, there's a possibility you're only there because you're married and it's too much of a pain in your ass to get a divorce.

That might be just me though...

Beautifully put RS, imo /\

>> ^alien_concept:
Beautifully put RS, imo /\

Let me give you my girlfriend's phone number, maybe you can convince her I'm not crazy...;)

two homes=$235,000
3 cars=$30,000
20' pro-katt=$40,000
everything else=$25,000
the ability to walk away and live my own life on my terms=priceless

ah,the toils of marital bliss.
in all honesty,
it depends on the couple.
marriage is a partnership and can work beautifully.
take all pretense of romance out,
subtract societal expectations...
respect each other as individuals by letting each other be who they are,
and who they may become.
keep it as honest as you can...
back each other up at every chance.
and you should be fine.
but then again......
i may just be talking out my ass,
its not like i have this stellar track record.
better yet...
ignore any marital advice from me...
because my initial instinct is to tell everyone:
RUN! RUN as fast as your lil feet can carry you!
im sorry..
what was i saying again?
bah..nvm

To stop having sex.

>> ^enoch:
two homes=$235,000
3 cars=$30,000
20' pro-katt=$40,000
everything else=$25,000
the ability to walk away and live my own life on my terms=priceless
ah,the toils of marital bliss.
in all honesty,
it depends on the couple.
marriage is a partnership and can work beautifully.
take all pretense of romance out,
subtract societal expectations...
respect each other as individuals by letting each other be who they are,
and who they may become.
keep it as honest as you can...
back each other up at every chance.
and you should be fine.
but then again......
i may just be talking out my ass,
its not like i have this stellar track record.
better yet...
ignore any marital advice from me...
because my initial instinct is to tell everyone:
RUN! RUN as fast as your lil feet can carry you!
im sorry..
what was i saying again?
bah..nvm

Just like Communism, I suppose marriage works in "theory". The only problem that messes both of these things up is human nature.

It's a moot point, prop 8 passed. No married dicks for me.

Marriage would be a decent idea if A) it wasn't a contract with the government, and B) divorce didn't mean one spouse typically has to subsidize the other.

Marriage is gay

Just asking the question, makes me think you shouldn't.

>> ^blankfist:
Marriage would be a decent idea if A) it wasn't a contract with the government, and B) divorce didn't mean one spouse typically has to subsidize the other.


You're such a romantic.

Providing that you love each other and can foresee yourselves sticking together until one of you dies, why not? Then you can call her "the wife" and she can call you her "old man."

Otherwise, I've never seen anything wrong with living in sin, especially if you're older and you don't see any kids on the horizon.

I have met people who lived together for extended periods, then got married, and watched their relationship come apart at the seams.

>> ^NetRunner:
>> ^blankfist:
Marriage would be a decent idea if A) it wasn't a contract with the government, and B) divorce didn't mean one spouse typically has to subsidize the other.

You're such a romantic.


Nothing is more romantic than alimony and license applications.

Taxes or citizenship. I can't think of any other reasons to involve lawyers in one's sex life.

Theres no reason you can't buy rings, have a traditional wedding, change your (her) last name, and just forget to apply for that marriage license.

Because you love her very much, maybe?

>> ^rougy:
I have met people who lived together for extended periods, then got married, and watched their relationship come apart at the seams.

This is my primary reason not to. If you stay together because you want to, that's great, if you feel like you have to, then you screw the power dynamic, and it runs a good chance of all going down hill.

My GF was married for 17yrs to a great guy, who happened to be a terrible husband for her. He is still a friend of ours, we like him a lot, but it just didn't work, the only reason they stayed together is because they were married, it was a bad deal all around. She and I have been together for about five years, we could break up, but we don't want to, we are happy with our relationship, I'm not keen to throw a wrench in it by messing with the legal/social category.

All the "romance" stuff is cute, but when you create an establishment where people feel like they don't have to deserve love/respect, they tend to act like assholes. In my experience, the assumption "that does not apply to me/us" is the fast track to mutual destruction.