In many English dialects it is common to say something like "August twenty fourth, 1976" and since, as Unitedstatesians we(by which I implicate myself, not necessarily the reader) are obsessed with not using British standards, it not totally unexpected that we would do it that way.

I advocate simply moving to unix timestamps.

the last line is awesome.

In reply to this comment by gorgonheap:
Just wanted to clarify some things you seem to be ignorant about. If a cow had horns it would not "happily impale" anyone. Cows are herbivores and have a lot of natural predators. It's in their nature not to seek confrontation with other animals. Most cows need to be dehorned anyway because the horns grow into the skull and eventually kill the animal prematurely.

Chances are that your friend who was once charged was doing something to the calf that seemed threating to the mother. After calves are weened mothers become significantly less protective. In fact unless a cow has a young calf I've never seen one become aggressive or defend itself from an attack. I say this because I've worked on a dairy farm since I was 5 and been a ranch hand for close to 5 years.

The cow in question was grazing with her calf in the jungle in Mexico. Folks let the cows forage in the jungle, they leave the horns on them, and according to the locals, the cows do kill things that mess with them. I was walking down a trail, saw the cows, didn't think much of it, until I heard this snorting/stomping, turned around, charging cow, horns pointed at me. I half hid behind a small tree on the path edge, stuck out my hand, made some WHOA! type sounds, and the cow stopped. She would scrape and snort in an obviously threatening manner when I tried to keep walking down the path where I realized her calf was. I ended up turning around and going the other way.

I submit to you that cows raised in a more hostile environment may be more prone to aggression then you are likely to see on a farm. I'm not saying she was a genius, I'm just saying she was not to be trifled with. This event is on the short version of my "If I hadn't noticed I'd be dead" list.