I thought this when I was watching "Seeking a Friend for the End of the World"

The thumbnail image for this video has been updated - thumbnail added by ChaosEngine.

Tags for this video have been changed from 'Louis CK, Murder, Death, Kill' to 'Louis CK, Murder, Death, Kill, conan obrien' - edited by bareboards2

*promote Because I always promote Louis. The promotable, reliable Louis.

Promoting this video back to the front page; last published Sunday, December 2nd, 2012 6:21am PST - promote requested by bareboards2.

I'm also amazed every time I go out in public and return home without murdering someone.

I don't even try anymore, I just grew to accept it and developed good disposal procedures.

John Wayne Gacy had 26 bodies in his tiny crawl space.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Wayne_Gacy

Personally, I find murder overrated. A good solid striking-terror-into-the-heart-of-my-enemies beat down wins every time.

Yes, I'm Batman.

Tags for this video have been changed from 'Louis CK, Murder, Death, Kill, conan obrien' to 'Louis CK, Murder, Death, Kill, conan obrien, murdering, eating well' - edited by calvados

Because we are concerned with each others' happiness?

Murder is a difficult thing to get away with most of the time, and there's a level of sophisticated social engineering required before you can really rack up a count, otherwise you'll get caught around the 2 to 10 mark, like most people serving prison sentences that aren't drug or theft related.

But in all honesty, murder is not lucrative unless you're commander and chief to an army. The real money maker is hacking -- why doesn't EVERYONE hack? People on the internet are just slinging their credit card info and personal information around willy-nilly.

If you're a homeless person, here's what you do: (this is assuming you are so poor you have no money and little education beyond your street smart observation)

1. Steal someone's smartphone.
NOTE: If you are unsure what a "smartphone" is, just look for the people that are walking around, seemingly lost, looking at their phone the whole time. If you feel in control, ask them if they're lost. If they reply with a fragmented sentence about "GPS" or "Google maps", you have found your mark. If you're proficient with this style of conversation, find a way to lead them down an alleyway -- you know what to do after that. Example: They say they know that their destination is "somewhere around here, they just can't find the entrance", tell them that's because "the place is using a side entrance down this convenient alley."
2. Steal a second person's smartphone.
NOTE: Hopefully at least one of them isn't password locked. If both are, keep stealing until you have one that isn't.
3. Setup a free email account at Gmail and then go to Craigslist and sell the first device.
NOTE: Or Hotmail or Yahoo or Mailinator or whatever.
4. On the second device, find someone on Craigslist who will help you reset the first device so that no one can trace it back to you.
5. Use Google to learn how to hack, or better yet, just learn how to create phishing emails.
6. NOW HACK (or phish)!
7. You probably gave up on life a long time ago, so if you've figured out a foolproof way to steal smartphones, keep doing that, because people with smartphones are pretty dumb and hacking is actually kind of hard.

Special thanks to Google, Craigslist, smartphones, and the blind entitlement of your victims.

No joke, John Wayne Gacy was a clown at childrens parties when he was younger. My stepmother was also a clown at childrens parties and worked with him. She has an old picture of her and John Wayne Gacy all clowned up and smiling for the camera. It's the greatest picture I have ever seen.