Okay, you have my attention, but... Tell me, how do you hold this "knork" without the "good for cutting the food" part cutting into your skin?

My design team is still looking into that.

perfect apparatus to market alongside my "asbestos dinner gloves"

They're sleek! they're fashionable! They're for preventing the knork from slicing you open!

Yes, looking good never felt so safe!

Well, assuming that we're looking at the front, this is for lefties. Hooray lefty!

make it even more distinctive, with an extra prong-

how about a 3-in-one utensil, incorporate the spoon and knife, in one end-call it the messerspork!

Oh, by the way, nice sketch, yer court-appointed psychiatrist would be pulling reference books down if he had it.....

I'm looking into incorporate a spoon into it. My research team has shown that it could increase awesomeness by 112%

I think the only place this might get you laid would be in jail. Sorry.

What exactly are you planning on doing with Derek Jeter once you buy him?