Every good action flick deserves an ownable soundtrack. As much as people talk shit on the original Tomb Raider, it also has a kickass electronic soundtrack. MY GOD SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS THESE THINGS AND ISN'T JUST A CYNICAL HATER!!!!!

David Leitch is a seasoned stunt coordinator/choreographer. His stunt work can be perceived to be hit or miss, but he has a fairly solid track record. Look him up, he has worked on some SHIT movies, but he's also worked on some modern action classics. It's easy to get triggered by women beating up men though, so I feel ya.

He's also the director of Deadpool 2.

*explosive sounds of anal misery cascade across the bathroom stalls*

Foodie: "WHY DID I DO THIS TO MY STOMACH AND MY ANUS?"

Reporter: "Congratulations, sir, you are now the foodie ninja warrior. What are you going to do?"

Foodie: "I'm going to Disneyland so I can ride the teacups to acid reflux!"

This is my favourite show from ye olden days.

And with Daredevil AND Deadpool's reputation proceeding him in the MCU, it's really really REALLY time for Spidey to get in and own sum fase. Seriously.

Come on.

Pst! He's cool.

(Spiderman -- hey, I'm still waiting.)

k, I'll be over here pacing back and forth while the important people in Hollywood call all of the shots.

...How much longer? Oh man, come on!

I'll be on the side of the building if anybody needs me. *jumps off the top of the roof*

Looks good on my cellphone though... wait, do you actually watch Videosift on a computer stuck in horizontal mode? Who does that?

Fight me. Or experiment on me with psychedelic drugs -- PLEASE. Why does the government never do any of the cool experiments on its citizenry anymore? Such a let down. All they do now is jack off to the porn on my cellphone. CIA stands for "Creepy Introverts And?" *monotonous Ben Stein voice* Aaaannnddd?? Anyone? Anyone? *Bewitched nose crinkle and librarian voice* Mmmmm... could it beeeeeee -- Satan?!

Can someone make a mechanical version of this music machine?

I'm married to the less butch Asian version of this woman. I am the bitch (and I totally accept the role) so I shut the fuck up when butch is in bitch mode. She likes being made fun of though so it works. Bill knows what's going on and he knows that it can be prodded but not poked too hard or it's on. It's not good when it's on. No one wins. Especially in the war between logic and aesthetic.

That's the tie breaker round.

Cynics, his motivation isn't to defile Easter. You just don't understand what it's like when your world is crashing down around you and the only thing left is to destroy all of the things that have no meaning in your fake existence; in search of anything in life -- in this reality -- searching for ANYTHING in this reality that can give you a moment's pause to to to to to feel what it's like to be human and not a machine driven for self gain and the perpetuation and capitalization of your will: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhxSclppAhU

Club Penguin has mapped your genetic sequence and is producing clones of you that are fully hacking your identity. CAPTCHA needs to be updated in order to differentiate between you and the infinite number of clones of you.

What about my friend Jesus, where does he put his bike? Oh, Jesus has no place in this house. No? Si.

Some things don't have a place in an American household. But outside in the garden -- everything in its place. Good work on them hedges and that lawn -- perfection!

It was me. Did the summer dress and my favorite kitty really creep you out that much? I promise there is no room in my freezer. I just couldn't find a cat sitter and all my male clothing was dirty, so i wore a dress. I thought you'd be okay with it. I mean, sure I forgot to shave but... I didn't know you'd be such a judgey, you... I'm not going to say anything mean. I'm just going to cry everyday for a week -- yeah, that's how little you mean to me, Charliza Ma-not-going-even-think-of-you-in-my-dreams. Also, your "friends" threatened to kick my ass afterwards btw. It was creepy because you made it creepy, Charlize. You creep!

lol...