Your chances are higher of getting killed by a champagne cork than by a poisonous spider... that has to come from the department of treacherously unrelated statistics department.

Neat, though. Bet a few of these were blown open last night at the DNC.

dotdude, I lived in Algiers Point (across the river from the quarter) when Katrina hit! My wife and kid and I evacuated to Philadelphia. It's nice here: above sea level. Hope your family did okay in the storm.

One, when they say 'Democrats will raise taxes,' you say 'we have to because someone spent all the money in the world cutting Paris Hilton's taxes and not killing Osama bin Laden.' In just six years the national debt has doubled. You can't keep spending money you don't take in. That's not even elementary economics, that's just called don't be Michael Jackson.

Two, when they say the 'terrorists want the Democrats to win,' you say 'are you insane? George Bush has been a terrorist's wet dream.' He inflames radical hatred against America and then runs on offering to protect us from it. It's like a guy throwing shit on you and then selling you relief from the flies.

Three, when they say 'cut and run' or 'defeatocrat,' you say 'Bush lost the war, period.' All this nonsense about the violence is getting worse over there because they're trying to influence the election, no, it's getting worse because you drew up the post-war plans on the back of a cocktail napkin at Applebees. And of course Democrats want to win, but that's impossible now that you've ethnically-cleansed the place by making it unlivable -- just like you did with New Orleans.

Four, when they say that actual combat veterans like John Kerry are 'denigrating the troops,' you say 'you're completely full of shit.' Remember when Al Gore caught all that flack for sighing and moaning during that debate? Yeah, don't do that. Just say, 'you're full of shit.' If I was a troop, the support I would want back home would mainly come in the form of people pressuring Washington to get me out of this pointless nightmare. That's how I would feel supported. So, when they say 'Democrats are obstructionists,' you say 'you're welcome.' Sometimes good people have to intercede to prevent dire consequences. You wouldn't like to think of me as an obstructionist, but what if Roseanne had offered to sing? So I would be happy to frame this debate as a fight between the obstructionists and the enablers. There's your talking point. Vote Republican and you vote to enable George Bush to keep ruling as an emperor -- a retarded child emperor, but an emperor.

So Democrats, you've got four days to get out there and close. And it's not about slogans this time, although when it comes to slogans, the only one I'm prepared to accept from the opposition is, 'The Republican Party: We're sorry.'

Can you fix the spelling of "Democrats"? Thanks.

I bet Monika Lewinski could get through without taking a breath.

Man, what goes through a guy's mind when he's doing something like this? "If I can just make it to the border I'll go to Lithuania-- they'll never come looking for me"?

Wow. We can actually kill someone on schedule to meet our political ends.

I mean, I'm not for capital punishment, but if anyone should get it, it's probably this guy. And yet, it seems incredibly cold and cynical to actually schedule sentencing just to make an election go one way or another. It stops being about the Kurds and starts being about politics.

I feel manipulated.

Thank you mlx-- I hope this makes it (actually, I don't know the mechanics of any of this at all). I just think the world needs to know about Jarabe de Palo.

I think the palmas and jaleos at 2:30 make the whole piece worthwhile.

Hmmm, I've been wondering recently why we live so long after we get done reproducing. Isn't it terribly inefficient for us to live for another 40 or 50 years after we are done reproducing? It seems like that should have evolved away.

The cheesy 60's "Industry on the March" music did it for me.

Aye, me as well

SOB! This video is dead!

I guess you're right theo47. I'm just frustrated.

John, Why make jokes about Iraq so close to an election? Why try to make a snide remark about Bush using Iraq? I understand what Kerry was trying to do, and his coke-snorting, draft-dodging opponent certainly does not own the high ground here. But all I can say as a loyal democrat is this: Thank you for screwing us so close to the election, John. I sure am glad I spent all that time volunteering down at the DNC just to have you blow the easily held advantage we had.

peretz:
" I don't have a problem with it and no sane person should"

You're entitled to your opinion, and should express it. But don't question my sanity if I disagree with you. If you are right, a simple statement of the facts should be enough to convince the majority of the people of it. Calling people who disagree with you insane is unnecessary and wrong.