I think the two sides are fighting on different levels and basically can't really understand. I think transporter said it really well- people treat gays as if they don't exist... because if they ignore them long enough, like insubordinate children who only seek attention, they will obviously come to their senses, be enlightened by god, and fall in the right kind of love and make lots of babies. Gays don't have the luxury of waiting it out (until that miraculous straight fairy comes and they can suddenly join good common folks), they live life in the here and now and need those benefits that marriage and recognition of it grants straight couples.
To religious folks it's all theoretical because besides the few of them that are in the closet, they have no idea how it feels to be on the persecuted side of this debate. It should be interesting in a few decades when the tables are turned, people are free to marry the sex of their choice, the world is run by logic and good will towards others, and Christians are a minority that has to defend their ways as they make others now...
maybe that's too optimistic.

"New Rule! Barack Obama has to give comedians something to work with, seriously, here's a guy who's not fat, not cheating on his wife, not stupid, not angry and not a phony. Who needs an asshole like that around for the next four years?"- Real Time w/ Bill Maher. He made a good point that Obama should throw conservatives a comedic bone to vent their venom on something trivial so they get off his back.