McDonald's milkshakes (er, I think officially just "shakes"), don't melt either. They just kind of dry up and solidify.

Astronaut ice cream doesn't melt either. I used to love that stuff when I was a kid, but I haven't seen it anywhere for a while. Probably the same stuff. So the moral is that it's probably NASA that invented that ice cream sandwich. How many food products can you buy that required a hundred million dollar engineering budget and won the Cold War?

Your video, Walmart Ice Cream Sandwiches Don't Melt, has made it into the Top 15 New Videos listing. Congratulations on your achievement. For your contribution you have been awarded 1 Power Point.

Well la ti dah, your majesty. If rigor mortis stew isn't to your liking, how about a flat meat sandwich?

I couldn't find a video that didn't cut the sound off at then end, but I found a list for you and posted it here:

1. My dick is so big, there's still snow on it in the summertime.
2. My dick is so big, I went to The Viper Room and my dick got right in. I had to stand there and argue with the doorman.
3. My dick is so big, I have to call it Mr. Dick in front of company.
4. My dick is so big, it won't return Spielberg's calls.
5. My dick is so big, it graduated a year ahead of me from high school.
6. My dick has an elevator and a lobby.
7. My dick has an better credit than I do.
8. My dick is so big, clowns climb out of it when I cum.
9. My dick is so big, it was once overthrown by a military coup. It's now known as the Democratic Republic of My Dick.
10. My dick is so big, it has casters.
11. My dick is so big, I'm already fucking a girl tomorrow.
12. My dick is so big, ships use it to find their way into the harbor.
13. My dick is so big, there was once a movie called Godzilla vs. My Dick
14. My dick is so big, it lives next door.
15. My dick is so big, I entered it in a big-dick contest and it came in first, second, and third.
16. My dick is so big, it votes.
17. My dick is a better dresser than I am.
18. My dick is so big, it has a three-picture deal.
19. My dick is so big that the head of it has only seen my balls in pictures.
20. My dick is so big, Henry Aaron used it to hit his 750th home run.
21. My dick runs the 440 in fifteen seconds.
22. My dick is the Walrus, koo koo ga joob.
23. No matter where I go my dick always gets there first.
24. My dick takes longer lunches than I do.
25. My dick contributed $50,000 to the Democratic National Committee.
26. My dick was once the ambassador to China.
27. My dick is so big, it's gone condo.
28. My dick hit .370 in the minors before it hurt its knee.
29. My dick was almost drafted by the Cleveland Browns, but Art Modell didn't want a bigger dick than he was on the team.
30. My dick is so big, I use the Eiffel Tower as a French tickler.
31. It's so big, when it rains the head of my dick doesn't get wet.
32. My dick is so big, I could wear it sas a tie if I wasn't so aftaid of getting a hard-on and killing myself.
33. My dick is so big, I have to use an elastic zipper.
34. My dick is so big, it has feet.
35. My dick is so big, a homeless family lives underneath it.
36. My dick is so big, it takes four fat women and a team of Clydesdales to jack me off.
37. My dick is so big, my mother was in labor for three extra days.
38. My dick is so big, they use the bullet train to test my condoms.
39. My dick is so big, it has investors.
40. My dick is so big, it seats six.
41. My dick is so big, I use a hula hoop as a cock ring.
42. My dick is so big, we use it at parties as a limbo pole.
43. My dick is so big, King Kong is going to crawl up it in the next remake.
44. My dick is so big, it has an opening act.
45. My dick is so big I can fuck an elevator shaft.
46. My dick is so big, it has its own Wheaties box.
47. My dick is so big, I have to cook it breakfast in the mornings.
48. My dick is so big, the city had to carve a hole in the middle of it so cars could get through.
49. My dick is so big, every time I get hard I cause a solar eclipse.
50. My dick is so big, it only plays arenas.
51. If you cut my dick in two, you can tell how old I am.
52. My dick was once set on fire for a Dino DiLaurnetis movie.
53. My dick is so big, it needs an airplane warning light.
54. My dick is so big, Trump owns it.
55. My dick is so big, that we're all a part of it, and it's all a part of us.
56. My dick is so big, I can never sit in the front row.
57. My dick is so big, it has its own dick. And even my dick's dick is bigger than your dick.
58. My dick is so big, you can't blow me without a ladder.
59. My dick is so big, it only does one show a night.
60. My dick is so big, you can ski down it.
61. My dick is so big, it has an elbow.
62. My dick is so big, I have to check it as luggage when I fly.
63. My dick is so big, it has a personal trainer.
64. My dick is so big, that right now it's in the other room fixing us drinks.
65. My dick is so big, it has a retractable dome.
66. My dick is so big, it has stairs up the center like the Statue of Liberty.
67. My dick is so big, there's a sneaker named "Air My Dick."
68. My dick is so big, I'm its bitch.
69. My dick is so big, it's against the law to fuck me without protective headgear.
70. My dick is so big, I could fuck a tuba.
71. My dick is so big, Stephen Hawking has a theory about it.
72. My dick is so big, it has its own gravity.
73. NASA once launched a space probe to search for the tip of my dick.
74. My dick is so big, it's impossible to see all of it without a satellite.
75. The inside of my dick contains billions an dbillions of stars.
76. My dick is so big, it has a spine.
77. My dick is so big, it has a basement.
78. My dick is so big, movie theatres now serve popcorn in small, medium, large, and My Dick.
79. My dick is more muscular than I am.
80. My dick is so big it has cable.
81. My dick is so big, it violates seventeen zoning laws.
82. My dick is so big, it has its own page in the Sierra Club calendar.
83. My dick is so big, it has a fifty-yard line.
84. My dick is so big, I was once in Ohio and got a blow job in Tennessee.
85. My dick is so big, Las Vegas casinos fly it into town for free.
86. My dick is so big, I can braid it.
87. My dick is so big, than when it's Eastern Standard Time at the tip, it's Central Mountain Time at my balls.
88. My dick is so big, I painted the foreskin red, white, and blue and used it as a flag.
89. My dick is so big, I can sit on it.
90. My dick is so big it can chew gum.
91. My dick is so big, it only tips with hundreds.
92. My dick is so big, the Carnegie Deli named a sandwich after it. Actually, two sandwiches.
93. My dick is so big, the city was going to build a statue of it but they ran out of cement.
94. My dick is so big, Michael Jackson wants to build an amusement park on it.
95. My dick is so big, when I get hard my eyebrows get pulled down to my neck.
96. My dick is so big, you're standing on it.
97. My dick is so big, it only comes into work when it feels like it.
98. My dick is so big, it plays golf with the president.
99. My dick is so big, it charges money for its autograph.
100. My dick is so big, it has an agent. My dick's people will call your people. Let's have lunch with my dick.
101. My dick is so big, it's right behind you.

So...a baked and griddled sandwich.

No grill featured here.

Somewhere Alton Brown is rolling his eyes.

Lower him down a monkey with a sandwich and a camera on it's head with a note suggesting that he chose some other death-defying hobby, call the six-o-clock news and shut-him-the-fuck-up...Oh wait, he's there for some crucial research and simply slipped.....'Todays' a good day to die, let's do it again!!'

Hey needs to get him the "DUMBASS" tattoo on his fucking forehead...

Of course he wouldn't need mad skills if he left adequate stopping distance. So, bit of a fail-win sandwich.

I think you'll need another guy to make a Jill sandwich.

Comment hidden because you are ignoring dag. (show it anyway)

Wow. This thread is turning into more fun than I expected. When life gives you a turd sandwich, make turdinade.

Call em for what they are VoodooV, no need to candy-coat the sentiment or facts, they're media whores be they black, fe-male, she-male, cunt-bag or douche-nozzle, they all milk off the same teat of distract and subvert while being paid to fuck minds with tired programming-Celebrity is the double-edged sword wielded usually to lure dumb motherfuckers into programmed oblivion-Never trust anyone who's 'nice' to everyone and seems to smile more than they fucking remember to breathe-Usually a shit-sandwich buried under the free crisps there a-waiting for ya in the lunch pail...Fuck Ellen and fuck the shit outta Oprah and her skinny-fat-fat-skinny-book-of-the-week-peddlin' ass..... they are opportunistic shit-heals the both of em. doing but nothing meaningful for the planet besides foot-printing carbon more than you or I and our minions combined...

And to alll the trolls who love to call the same on others with dissenting opinions?? Fuck You where you live.

How comes these are the Cook islands but Hawaii isn't the Sandwich islands?

What does this have to do with sandwiches?

Men tend to not pick up on the subtle nuances of sexism.
About 3 months ago I entered a room at work. A female colleague of mine, one of the most attractive ones at that time, was eating a sandwich or something like that. Nothing phallic like a banana. Across the room stood another coworker, freshly married father of a newborn son. He was watching her eating with an expression of certain interest and after I inquired what's so interesting he proclaimed loudly enough for her to her "I could watch her do that all day." His tone said way more than his words.
The woman was eating a fucking sandwich. I'm still waiting for the day when I'm licking an icecream cone and any woman tells me she could watch me do that all day long.

And that's just the subtle stuff, the socially acceptable creepiness.