Ahh women. Our culture reminds them on every magazine cover, advert and movie that if they aren't thin they're a nobody. However the obese must have not got this plainly obvious message. They must not know that a)they are fat and/or b)being fat is not necessarily healthy or even c)they know but just don't care.

It is most certainly my duty, as a random stranger, to notify and remind(a)(b) the obese that they are indeed fat and they should consider not being fat. In the case of (c) I will shame them by implying they are a poor role model and I will assume their obesity is caused by laziness unless they reveal all personal details pertaining to their overweight condition.

Nobody is suggesting that there is not a problem with obesity in America (or really most of the 1st world tbh). The solution is not to write rude emails pointing out the obvious though. Even though she decided to "go public" I still don't really see why its my business. Consider walking up to somebody in the street and making the same comments. Would you not expect to get slapped? and a poor role model? Please, as if some 6 yr old is gonna see her on TV and aspire to be fat. Get real.

Seriously people? fucking seriously?

Do you even realize how hypocritical it is to justify this guy's letter with a self-righteous lecture about the dangers of obesity?
Take a second to think about how TV "role models" usually look (or people "in the public eye" as scannex puts it).
What planet have you been living on where the "normalization of obesity" has become a problem?

The nerve you would have to have to suggest in a letter that this woman is too fat to be shown on TV is only surpassed by the ignorance of believing that it would actually serve as a better example for our children.

It goes to show how little most people understand of the psychology of eating disorders.

Man, I can only dream of a day when all tv personalities are fit, imagine... utopia...
sigh





>> ^scannex:

The normalization of obesity is a problem.

Yeah she is obese. How does pointing out the obvious help anybody? You think he wrote this email to her because perhaps it had never occured to her to lose weight? I'm not saying obesity is ok but honestly girls have a bad enough negative body image without people pointing out the flaws. Her weight doesn't effect anybody outside of her family so don't be a creep and write emails pretending that she's a bad role model or some shit.

Fear is fear, whether it's of Hell or of prison, it's still fear. You need to teach with positive reinforcement, empathy, to instill in the kids a proper sense or right and wrong. The Bible has some good lessons, the Golden Rule is one of the best, Do unto others as you would have done unto you. I think just that act of projecting yourself unto others can give you the perspective to not be a dick all the time. At no point does God need to be involved, just an understanding and appreciation of your fellow man. Good and responsible behavior doesn't start and stop with religion, and I can't stand it when religions try and claim a monopoly on morality, because it just isn't true.

>> ^shinyblurry:

You're not going to stop kids from sinning by yelling at them. It's not the fear of going to prison which is going to stop them from screwing up, it's the fear of the Lord. If you raise your kids correctly, to honor and reverence Almighty God, using corporal punishment when appropriate, you will end up with a child of honor, who will respect other people, and want to contribute something good to society. Of course this also requires ample doses of unconditional love, and sensitivity to the needs of your child. It requires a total commitment to preparing a child for life in this world and giving him all the tools he needs to succeed. Discipline is a necessary component of this, one that is often missing in many homes. The scripture says if you don't discipline your child you hate him. Godly discipline, to note, is not to tear a child down in anger, but build a child up with love, and teach him how to take responsibility for his actions and own his mistakes instead of passing blame on to others.
If a bad product is coming out of a factory, then you need to check the assembly line. It's bad parenting which is creating these children. Parents who constantly coddle their children, try to be their friends and buy them off instead of discipline them. Parents who raise them on television and r rated movies and violent video games and all of this raw sewage of a corrupt and depraved culture being pumped into their fragile young minds. Parenting, just like everything else in life, is a garbage in garbage out principle. I just read a story about 4 eight year old kids performing sex acts on one another because they had figured out how to access internet porn on their ipads. This wouldn't happen if their parents actually knew or cared what was going on in their kids lives.
There used to be a moral standard in this country founded on the bible, but America has rebelled against God and rejected His laws, and now we are reaping the harvest of our rebellion. Our children are growing up without a moral compass or godly role models and you even cannot begin to count this cost. The only way this situation will change is if we fall on our faces and repent of our wickedness:
2 Chronicles 7:14
If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

You're not going to stop kids from sinning by yelling at them. It's not the fear of going to prison which is going to stop them from screwing up, it's the fear of the Lord. If you raise your kids correctly, to honor and reverence Almighty God, using corporal punishment when appropriate, you will end up with a child of honor, who will respect other people, and want to contribute something good to society. Of course this also requires ample doses of unconditional love, and sensitivity to the needs of your child. It requires a total commitment to preparing a child for life in this world and giving him all the tools he needs to succeed. Discipline is a necessary component of this, one that is often missing in many homes. The scripture says if you don't discipline your child you hate him. Godly discipline, to note, is not to tear a child down in anger, but build a child up with love, and teach him how to take responsibility for his actions and own his mistakes instead of passing blame on to others.

If a bad product is coming out of a factory, then you need to check the assembly line. It's bad parenting which is creating these children. Parents who constantly coddle their children, try to be their friends and buy them off instead of discipline them. Parents who raise them on television and r rated movies and violent video games and all of this raw sewage of a corrupt and depraved culture being pumped into their fragile young minds. Parenting, just like everything else in life, is a garbage in garbage out principle. I just read a story about 4 eight year old kids performing sex acts on one another because they had figured out how to access internet porn on their ipads. This wouldn't happen if their parents actually knew or cared what was going on in their kids lives.

There used to be a moral standard in this country founded on the bible, but America has rebelled against God and rejected His laws, and now we are reaping the harvest of our rebellion. Our children are growing up without a moral compass or godly role models and you even cannot begin to count this cost. The only way this situation will change is if we fall on our faces and repent of our wickedness:

2 Chronicles 7:14

If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

I wasn't even trying to make a point about any of that, really, but I could. I was just pointing out that you are judging these people by their public persona and deciding worthiness based on that. There is likely a business-influenced element at work here shaping these appearances. I'm guessing you don't actually know these people. They could be just as vacuous and self-centered (or worse) than someone like Cyrus appears to be in actual life.

I don't know Cyrus (nor do I care to), but I'm sure there are business-related pressures on her and it seems hasty to dismiss her as a "vapid whore" because she is clumsily pushing a product while applauding people who generally end up in the same role with more skill, willingness, or better preparation. None of the people we've named seem like great role models to me. I'm sure what they do is work, but it looks to me like it's mostly about being cute, being in the right place at the right time, and profiting. That's probably not fair to Page (don't know), but addressing a pair of child starlets it's probably fair. In any case, I'd rather see something deeper in a "role model."

>> ^PostalBlowfish:

>> ^dannym3141:
Vacuous, self centred women take note - this is what you should be like! Down-to-earth people like her and ellen page should be pushed as role models if you ask me.

what's it like being friends with emma watson and ellen page? it must be pretty cool knowing what they're like in real life.


Courting the sensationalist press/social media, behaviour towards fans, and interviews on chat shows.

People like ellen page and emma watson don't spout endless amounts of shit on the first, take pride in the second, and as for the third...... go and watch an interview with miley cyrus - that vapid whore is probably one of the most influential female teen stars around now, right? Yes i remember when she graced our TV and shared a set with dame hellen mirren, and couldn't keep her mouth from spouting such endearing lines as "Watch my movie" and "Buy my C.D." in utter ignorance of mirren.

Does that now qualify me to say who is a better role model in your eyes?

>> ^dannym3141:

Vacuous, self centred women take note - this is what you should be like! Down-to-earth people like her and ellen page should be pushed as role models if you ask me.


what's it like being friends with emma watson and ellen page? it must be pretty cool knowing what they're like in real life.

>> ^dannym3141:

Vacuous, self centred women take note - this is what you should be like! Down-to-earth people like her and ellen page should be pushed as role models if you ask me.


I removed the redundancy...fixed!

Vacuous, self centred women take note - this is what you should be like! Down-to-earth people like her and ellen page should be pushed as role models if you ask me.

@gwiz665 My point isn't that porn is bad and people who view it should feel bad about it. I really do have no issue with respectful porn in moderation. My issue is that if you do a search for porn these days, or go to youporn or anything like that, then 90% of the top stuff is just so derogatory towards women. Women gagging on dicks to the point of almost throwing up, women having their mouths pulled open, women drinking cum from glasses, bukakke, being held down and viscously rammed... this seems to be the norm now. The norm seems to be to treat women as objects. And damn those women better have big fake tits, a bald vagina, and be fine with ass to mouth.

My issue is that the porn is 'just there' now, and for single people, it'll get used a lot, and it DOES start shaping their tastes and expectations in regards to sex. The fact that sites like this even have a need to exist, shows that porn is shaping people's attitudes towards sex and women far more than it should be.

My wife and I do actually still occasionally watch porn together, carefully selected stuff that is not degrading, but just shows couples seemingly actually enjoying sex together. And as an occasional thing, it's great.

Trying to teach kids that porn is just movies and not real is just the same as movies really. Until their old enough to really process the difference between reality and make believe, until they get those critical thinking abilities, it doesn't matter how much you tell them that something isn't real. If they see it, it will affect them. So yes, I will definitely be teaching them about how the stuff in porn should never be looked on as a way to treat women (or be treated for my daughter), but I don't want them even seeing it until they're much older and can actually process it properly anyway.

Over sexualisation of our kids is a huge problem now. 3 year old girls being given high heel shoes for birthdays (as our daughter was, and we've promptly put them deep in the dress up basket), having 'role models' like Katy 'spit' Perry informing their self view. It's shit, and is not letting kids just be kids. And too many parents we see just go along with it. Let their 3 year olds dance and sing along to music videos showing women being treated as sex objects, and little more.

What this talk shows is that there is a physical effect of watching porn as much as people do now. You can put it down to weak will power, but when it's there at a click, whenever you want it, it's a problem. And it really is changing how people have sex. I've watched numerous talks where porn tropes like cumming on the woman's face, or ass to mouth, or any number of those things that only really make sense in the world of porn, are becoming things which men and women think are expected of them, or are the 'normal' way to have sex. That's a problem, because it's taking the focus away from two people getting hugely turned on and having great sex and being more like sex that looks good when being watched by someone else.

I disagree that it's about values per se. I mean it is to a point, but as he explains in this vid, it's actually causing physical changes in your brain. That's physiological and transcends any subjective rationalization. >> ^Trancecoach:

I mostly agree with you, although there is likely a way of watching porn that is more (or less) harmful than others. Having said that, I think the question is one of values. That is, what are/were the values that were instilled in you which enabled you to quit watching porn such that similar values can also be instilled (i.e., introduced, taught, nourished, evoked) in your kids?
It's a dangerous world out there, but, truth be told, it's probably just differently dangerous than it was when we grew up -- or when our parents grew up -- and it's not going to go away to "keep the kids safe." Thus, good role modeling and good values -- probably the way to go.

I mostly agree with you, although there is likely a way of watching porn that is more (or less) harmful than others. Having said that, I think the question is one of values. That is, what are/were the values that were instilled in you which enabled you to quit watching porn such that similar values can also be instilled (i.e., introduced, taught, nourished, evoked) in your kids?

It's a dangerous world out there, but, truth be told, it's probably just differently dangerous than it was when we grew up -- or when our parents grew up -- and it's not going to go away to "keep the kids safe." Thus, good role modeling and good values -- probably the way to go.

>> ^spoco2:

Without being prudish, internet porn is damaging. And it's damaging due to just what he says, it's SO easy to access, SO easy to watch different porn all the time.
I'm a guy who used to look at plenty of porn, and I've given it up. Not due to erectile dysfunction as mentioned in the talk, but because it was hurting my wife. She hated the thought of me looking at other women having sex like that. And I agreed with her...
It took some time, and I relapsed a few times, but I don't look at it any more, and I'm more than happy about it.
There's nothing wrong with porn per se, there's nothing wrong with sex, nothing with masturbation. It's the instant access, instant change porn, coupled with the horrendously degrading shit that has become mainstream that's the problem.
I'm seriously concerned about how I'm going to protect my kids from it. It's not that I don't think they should ever have access to porn or should not masturbate... it's how to you make sure what they view is respectful, and the volume of what they view is low?
I know when I was younger I had a draw with a few magazines in it, and that was it... I had to 'make do' with the same women over and over again.
I'm going to quality this talk as it's a real issue which is having serious relationship outcomes.

Why is self defense or MMA about being a badass? Football is far more violent for example. Are people trying to look like a badass if they wear football related clothing? I don't fight for fun, I calm people down so they don't fight. You are imagining a whole story out of very little information when it comes to me and when it comes to people's fashion choices. It pays to get to know people rather than just assuming shit based on nothing.

(edit) PS. oh, and threatening people is against the law. That is where breaking the law comes in...

>> ^KnivesOut:

"Why is self defense or MMA about being a badass?" LOL look at these role models! And no, wearing football clothing isn't the same thing, because just wearing your team's jersey isn't a statement to the world that you might tackle them at any minute.
FWIW, I've seen my share of guido douchebags adorned in TAPOUT gear posturing like schoolyard bullies.
Going out in your TAPOUT hoodie is telling the world "I fight, so watch out for me." In my book, it's basically equivalent to putting martial arts patches on your jeans jacket in 1988.
So what's up, are you training to be a cage figher?>> ^swedishfriend:
Why is self defense or MMA about being a badass? Football is far more violent for example. Are people trying to look like a badass if they wear football related clothing? I don't fight for fun, I calm people down so they don't fight. You are imagining a whole story out of very little information when it comes to me and when it comes to people's fashion choices. It pays to get to know people rather than just assuming shit based on nothing.
(edit) PS. oh, and threatening people is against the law. That is where breaking the law comes in...

"Why is self defense or MMA about being a badass?" LOL look at these role models! And no, wearing football clothing isn't the same thing, because just wearing your team's jersey isn't a statement to the world that you might tackle them at any minute.

FWIW, I've seen my share of guido douchebags adorned in TAPOUT gear posturing like schoolyard bullies.

Going out in your TAPOUT hoodie is telling the world "I fight, so watch out for me." In my book, it's basically equivalent to putting martial arts patches on your jeans jacket in 1988.

So what's up, are you training to be a cage figher?>> ^swedishfriend:

Why is self defense or MMA about being a badass? Football is far more violent for example. Are people trying to look like a badass if they wear football related clothing? I don't fight for fun, I calm people down so they don't fight. You are imagining a whole story out of very little information when it comes to me and when it comes to people's fashion choices. It pays to get to know people rather than just assuming shit based on nothing.
(edit) PS. oh, and threatening people is against the law. That is where breaking the law comes in...