couldnt find the whole thing but that bit is hilarious. Here's a piece of it followed by more Norm hilarity.
http://www.videosift.com/video/Norm-MacDonald-on-Dennis-Miller-1998

In reply to this comment by dag:
Norm MacDonald is probably not a very nice man, but his humor hits me right in the sweet spot. There was a bit he did about quitting smoking I'd like to find.

Comment hidden because you are ignoring dag. (show it anyway)

Norm MacDonald is probably not a very nice man, but his humor hits me right in the sweet spot. There was a bit he did about quitting smoking I'd like to find.

oh and in the words of Mark Twain, "Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times"

In reply to this comment by eric3579:
Two days, that's awesome! Have you made any changes in your lifestyle to help you quit?

In reply to this comment by rottenseed:
>> ^Flood:
Up-voting even though I personally had a hard time relating to this guy's message. I'm a smoker, and so I watched it because even though I have no desire to quit, I'm open to ideas that challenge my own. What's strange is that half of his poker chips wouldn't even be on the table for me, they aren't a factor either way. Boredom? I don't think I've ever lit up because I was bored.
I'm still trying to figure out what he says for the 3rd reason (3rd poker chip) to not smoke. It sounds like he says... Slavery?

I also smoke. I am going to try and utilize his philosophy as it makes a bit of sense to me. I'm not one of those "self-help" nuts, so I don't think I'll be going to the extent of buying his book, but I can relate to his message. Smoking really doesn't make my life better (anymore). It, in many ways, hinders my life in more ways than just my health.

...this is day 2, we'll see how it goes

nah. Allen Carr made a great point when he claimed that there are no positive things for cigarettes. So far I've spent my days at work and not smoking here is easy...just gotta keep busy. The real test will be this weekend because I know I'll have a couple of cocktails. Thanks for the concern

In reply to this comment by eric3579:
Two days, that's awesome! Have you made any changes in your lifestyle to help you quit?

In reply to this comment by rottenseed:
>> ^Flood:
Up-voting even though I personally had a hard time relating to this guy's message. I'm a smoker, and so I watched it because even though I have no desire to quit, I'm open to ideas that challenge my own. What's strange is that half of his poker chips wouldn't even be on the table for me, they aren't a factor either way. Boredom? I don't think I've ever lit up because I was bored.
I'm still trying to figure out what he says for the 3rd reason (3rd poker chip) to not smoke. It sounds like he says... Slavery?

I also smoke. I am going to try and utilize his philosophy as it makes a bit of sense to me. I'm not one of those "self-help" nuts, so I don't think I'll be going to the extent of buying his book, but I can relate to his message. Smoking really doesn't make my life better (anymore). It, in many ways, hinders my life in more ways than just my health.

...this is day 2, we'll see how it goes

Two days, that's awesome! Have you made any changes in your lifestyle to help you quit?

In reply to this comment by rottenseed:
>> ^Flood:
Up-voting even though I personally had a hard time relating to this guy's message. I'm a smoker, and so I watched it because even though I have no desire to quit, I'm open to ideas that challenge my own. What's strange is that half of his poker chips wouldn't even be on the table for me, they aren't a factor either way. Boredom? I don't think I've ever lit up because I was bored.
I'm still trying to figure out what he says for the 3rd reason (3rd poker chip) to not smoke. It sounds like he says... Slavery?

I also smoke. I am going to try and utilize his philosophy as it makes a bit of sense to me. I'm not one of those "self-help" nuts, so I don't think I'll be going to the extent of buying his book, but I can relate to his message. Smoking really doesn't make my life better (anymore). It, in many ways, hinders my life in more ways than just my health.

...this is day 2, we'll see how it goes

>> ^Flood:
Up-voting even though I personally had a hard time relating to this guy's message. I'm a smoker, and so I watched it because even though I have no desire to quit, I'm open to ideas that challenge my own. What's strange is that half of his poker chips wouldn't even be on the table for me, they aren't a factor either way. Boredom? I don't think I've ever lit up because I was bored.
I'm still trying to figure out what he says for the 3rd reason (3rd poker chip) to not smoke. It sounds like he says... Slavery?

I also smoke. I am going to try and utilize his philosophy as it makes a bit of sense to me. I'm not one of those "self-help" nuts, so I don't think I'll be going to the extent of buying his book, but I can relate to his message. Smoking really doesn't make my life better (anymore). It, in many ways, hinders my life in more ways than just my health.

...this is day 2, we'll see how it goes

>> ^Bidouleroux:
This is pretty much exactly like religion vs. atheism, with religion being of course smoking.


Anti-smoking is by far the more religious. Smoking is blamed for a host of sundry afflictions with scientific support that no one has the courage to challenge. People want it to be evil and that's what they get. No serious scientist would do any unbiased research, because if he found anything remotely pro-smoking the political fallout would ruin his career overnight.

Our surgeon general states that 70% of lung cancer victims got it from smoking, but lung cancer continues to rise with nary a blip - even though smokers per capita have fallen under 25% and have been there for a decade. If you want me to support this claim with data, sorry I can't. Neither the CDC or the ALA, or any other site I could find, will release any data cross referencing lung cancer victims and smokers. You can easily find how much carcinogens a black single mother of 2 will inhale in a 12x12 room with one smoker, but a table lookup of smokers v lung cancer victims will get you a 404 error. Try it.

That's religion. People needing an evil, ignoring the facts, suppressing the research of facts, all holding hands and attacking with fervor.

P.S.
My lungs get a clean bill of health every year, even though I've been smoking for over 20 years, simply because I've never tell the doctors I smoke. Ask your smoking friends to try that, it'll give them a chuckle.

>> ^Blurr:
Oh, and I completely agree with Bidouleroux.
What does your name mean?

"Bidou" is simply a nickname and "leroux" means "the red(head)".

>> ^FishBulb:
Look at the kid. Do you think he is acting? There are plenty of reasons to quit smoking but because some a-hole left a kid in a crowd isn't one of them.


Totally missed the message.
Listen to the VO guy at the end....pretty big tip.

Look at the kid. Do you think he is acting? There are plenty of reasons to quit smoking but because some a-hole left a kid in a crowd isn't one of them.

>> ^budzos:
Everyone just stop stuffing your fat fucking faces.


This attitude does more harm than good. Of course overweight people need to cut down on calories and increase exercise. Of course!

But it may be the most difficult thing in the world to do! If you quit smoking, you just stop. Yeah, it's hard, but if you go to pick up another cigarette, you know that's going to lead to starting the habit again. If you are an alcoholic, you know that you need to stay away from alcohol completely!

But you can't just stop eating! Imagine if you were trying to quit smoking a pack a day, but you needed one shallow drag off a cig every 4 hours, or you would die. Imagine you want to quit drinking, but you need one sip of whiskey every four hours or you would die! It's not enough to satisfy you, but you can't have any more! Day after day, after day.

That's what it's like trying to eat less. Every cell in your body is screaming at you to eat more, eat fatty foods, eat sugar, drink soda. And you have to resist. Every second, you have to resist. And then every three or four hours, you have to eat something, but not too much! And it has to be healthy, even when all your skinny friends are binging on pizza! And if you lose it once, eat too much, give in to the pizza, sleep in instead of exercising, or whatever, the depression hits soon afterward, making it that much harder to start the diet again.

If you haven't guessed yet, I'm going through this right now. I'm about to cook a Jenny Craig dinner, and all my co-workers are eating pizza around me. There's a candy jar not three feet from me that my co-workers "can't find another spot for". Lunch outings to fast food restaurants happen daily, and they talk about their many choices for at least an hour before going.

So yeah, it's not exactly like heroine withdrawals, but at least a druggie doesn't need to shoot up the weak shit to survive every day, constantly reminding him that the good stuff is out there, easy to get.

I've lost 30 pounds in the last few months, and I have another 40 to go. My goal is to run in the LA Marathon next May. So I have to deny my deepest instincts every moment if I even want to dream about achieving that goal.

So yeah, less calories, more exercise. But if you think that just because it's simple that it's also easy... just shut the hell up.

>> ^quantumushroom:
Like all Big Government liberals, Barry O is against citizens owning firearms.

No he isn't. He's very much like me, a gun totin' liberal. As he said in his DNC speech, we can make sure hunters keep their guns, but inner-city gangsters don't have uzi's. There's a balance there, somewhere, but there's a lot more of us hardcore libs who find the 2nd amendment untouchable. Apparently you haven't listened to his view on this issue.

"Hunting only, eh?" Taking guns from "inner-city gang members". Absolute horseshit. No president can do it, and all the 50,000 gun laws we have now do is tie down the lawful citizen. Obama is lying about his "love" of guns. He was likely as upset as the rest of the left (minus you) about the latest Supreme Court ruling that the 2nd Amendment is indeed, an individual right to bear arms.

Obama believes in an all-powerful centrist government. There's nothing government can't fix, if only they have the money...

No he doesn't. He doesn't believe in a broken and bloated gov't that does nothing for us. He believes in individual responsibilities, as well as gov't help for those who can't help themselves, and for infrastructure etc projects.

Obama wants to add billions of dollars in new and expanded programs to fight "the bloat". Does that make sense? I believe most liberals are sincere, but if you'll notice, the pool of people "who can't help themselves" seems to be expanding every day. Now we're "helping" you quit smoking, and quit eating fatty foods, see? We're your new nanny!

Also, should Obama win, I won't fault only him on government growth, the reality is the scumbag bureaucrats run Washington and they can easily outlast any and all 8-year terms.

He uses accusations of "racism" whenever he loses an argument.

Now that's just 100% bullshit. And when people like Sarah Palin call him "Sambo", to deny there's any racist attacks against him, is ridiculous.

The "sambo" charge was false.

http://gatewaypundit.blogspot.com/2008/09/obama-supporters-are-behind-palin-sambo.html

My answer to Obama's racist poor-me victim act will occur on election day. If he loses, there will be plenty of recrimination from the drive-by media about what an evil racist country America is, as if that's the only reason he lost. If he wins, they won't shut up about how wonderful it is to have a Black president, blah blah blah.

He uses class warfare.

There IS class warfare in this country. What, are you fucking insane? What do you think just happened this week? The gov't colluded with the greediest fucks on this planet to take our money, trillions of dollars of it, to pay for their mistakes.

I agree, and I agree it was wrong for these pricks to subsidize failure. But that's government for ya. If government were smaller, with limited funds, it couldn't get away with this. But historically the Left has been pushing hardest for more and more Big Government. The beast slipped its leash long ago, I'm afraid. But all these bailout don't come close to the 3 trillion wasted on the "War on Poverty".

Obama is nearly a lifelong member of a "church" that promotes Black Liberation Theology.

I hate all religions. I don't see where his bullshit is any more "neo-marxist" than any other dumbass religious believer.

Fair enough. Either Obama is lying about his faith to upset religion-haters or he sees it as a valuable tool for activism.

But its real mission is to radicalize American youth and use them to bring about "social change" through threats, pressure, tension and confrontation

You are absolutely nuts. Really, way way off the deep-end here, my friend.

Well, time will tell if he funds this crap, or gets the chance. I see the way American government-schools have rewritten or eliminated the teaching of history. Nothing surprises me anymore. The Democrats have sold their souls to the kook-left fringe, more so than any religious "control" the right.

Facts and logic are out the window, Obamites are electrified by these vague messages of "hope" and "change" or still part of the "Anybody but Bush" mindset.

Wow, you should try insulting more people's intelligence. Shoving everyone into this "Obamites" category shows just how little grasp you have on this election and these candidates.

It's really a compliment. It takes intelligence to have your imagination captured. I freely admit Barry is an aspiring speaker, and say also, he has not been given a thorough background check nor his lacking credentials serious consideration. It really is a case of rockstar-itis.

Still more sifters are from countries that are already socialist, so there's no conflict of interest there.

I take it you've never been outside the US then. I've traveled 1/2 of my life, lived overseas for years on end, in these "socialist" countries you know nothing about. If you think Europe is what socialism looks like, you need to go back to school.

Well, as the pundits love pointing out, the USA isn't as "sophisticated" as Europe, and the "rest of the world", with all its tinpot dictators and sheiks and corrupt regimes and double-digit unemployment welfare states supposedly despises the USA. The wisest here don't want to be anything like Europeans or anyone else.


And lastly, there are the deluded peaceniks who FEEL that the USA is morally no greater than Red China, and that despots can be 'reasoned with' if only we bring them a bouquet of their favorite flowers.

Wow, that sure is a pretty straw-man you built yourself.

These peaceniks are real enough. They've always been with us and they've always been wrong. Only war stops tyrants.

But tell me, oh wise one. When was the last time you saw one of these evil socialist European nations torture someone? When was the last time a European nation used a pack of lies to sell its citizens an illegal war, killing hundreds of thousands of innocent people? When was the last time that Abu-Ghraib happened under France's watch? When was the last time any EU country called the Geneva Conventions "cute"? When was the last time any EU country thought that following international laws, and their own military code of conduct, just didn't count anymore?

There's no point trying to reason with anyone who thinks a war can be "legal" or "illegal". Wars are about survival, nothing else. A saddam-free Iraq increases America's chance for survival. A taliban-free Afghanistan increases America's chance for survival. All the other good or evil to follow is secondary.


Where I differ from others on the matter of war is I believe America is the greatest country on earth, and its only moral force. We have the RIGHT and the duty to do whatever it takes. Without the USA, the world is fucked. Europe withers before the Crescent, China is a communist nightmare, Russia is sliding backwards towards the same, the Middle East is perhaps forever a hellish hail of traded bullets. And whether Ron fucking Paul likes it or not, America has been cast in the role of world's policeman.

Wow. You seem like a very, very scared person.

I am more than worried about electing a President that hates America, who has the defense doctrine of Bill Clinton and the economic knowledge of Jimmy Carter. Should he win, we will weather four years of his ridiculousness while Congress via the people, won't support him.

And your hero John McSame once shoved a woman in a wheelchair.

ALLEGEDLY.

Why is McCain's "temper" an issue? I like a guy who expresses his anger. America's savage enemies fear wrath, not timeouts from the Department of Peace. The world's dictators and other sh;ts fear McCain. They should.

Obama quit smoking to please others and improve his image. A man who would compromise his own enjoyment of smoking to placate nanny-state assholes has no business leading a Boy Scout troop, much less the nation.

Hey, I apologize if I was too agressive. I wrote a reply on the page.
cheers;

In reply to this comment by balabing:
I thought about it and I still like my idea. OK, maybe burning the American flag is too extreme, and he might put himself in serious danger. How about just put up a few paintings of Osama Bin Laden all over NY? He can probably use the same laser stencil format. Filming the bystander's reactions and reporting on homeland security's treatment of him should make a very interesting video.

Also, I'm typing this comment fully clothed. I quit smoking years ago. And to the best of my knowledge, I'm not living in my own bellybutton.

I thought about it and I still like my idea. OK, maybe burning the American flag is too extreme, and he might put himself in serious danger. How about just put up a few paintings of Osama Bin Laden all over NY? He can probably use the same laser stencil format. Filming the bystander's reactions and reporting on homeland security's treatment of him should make a very interesting video.

Also, I'm typing this comment fully clothed. I quit smoking years ago. And to the best of my knowledge, I'm not living in my own bellybutton.