Trash Pandas!

A bit of cleaning, plus enrichment and fun for the pandas, and entertainment for the visitors

Or it happens to everyone on their first day at this job.

"Oops, forgot to tell you to move the pandas to the other cage first *snicker*"

Baby pandas, great for morale, terrible for productivity.

*related=https://videosift.com/video/Giant-Panda-brats

This is a two minute version of this video

Giant Panda brats! has been added as a related post - related requested by bareboards2.

Subliminal message at 07:59

Real talk:
For God knows what reason, some of you occasionally drop me a line asking about what to study at uni: whether to follow your passions or take the safe route.

While I’m far from an authority on anything whatsoever, I would say the following: You will never be this young again. It seems silly not to follow what you truly love. (There are limits to this advice. Celebrity Studies and Twitterology are not recommended.)

The arts and the humanities aren’t the most practical of routes. Law and medicine are probably safer, that’s true. Yeah, well so is never leaving your fucking house. If it’s in your blood, it’s in your blood. We don’t get to play the life game for too long. Don’t be a silly panda and waste it. Go after what you generally love, and I wish you the very best of luck.

I learned just yesterday that the Chinese for giant panda is "Big bear cat" and for red panda their name is "Red bear cat". Asians, I like your crazy animals, but you need to get more inventive with the names.

What's up with this music?!

I am a philosopher, I like to provoke,
we live in perverted times,
so let me tell you a perverted joke!

A famous, dirty, horrible joke,
taking place in 15th century Russia.
A farmer and his wife walk along a dusty country road.
A Mongol warrior on a horse stops and says
"I'm gonna rape your wife and you should hold my testicles,
while I rape your wife, so that they will not get dusty."
When he raped his wife, the Mongol warrior went away,
the farmer started to laugh and jump with joy, his wife said
"Hey, how can you be happy?! I was just brutally raped!
And he says: "But I got him. His balls are full of dust."

Well, in reality we only dirty with dust the balls of those in power.
And now comes the dirty conclusion - the point is to cut them off!

Now let me warn you - this isn't Macarena, not Chicken dance,
not Aserejé, not Gangnam style and so on and so on.

We stand no chance, there's no time for romance,
it's time to dance The Perverted Dance™!

Cut the balls,
we need to cut the balls,
we need to cut the balls,
the balls of those in power!
We need to cut the balls
and our faces won't be sour!
Just cut the balls,
make them become Niagara falls.

Cut the balls,
we need to cut the balls,
we need to cut the balls,
the balls of those in power!
We need to cut the balls,
we can train with cauliflower!
Just cut the balls,
make them become Niagara falls.

Oh, my god, why am i doing this?! Singing, dancing?!
I feel like that disgusting guy from Canada, Justin Bieber...

So, the problem with capitalism is that it's in the crisis from its very beginning.
From somewhere, I would say, late 18th century, there are prophets who claim capitalism is nearing its end.
It's like that stupid bird Fenix, the more you, you know, it returns.
I got hungry, let's grab something to eat!
What?! No meat?! Only for vegetarians ?!
Degenerates, degenerates, they'll all soon turn into monkeys.

I dont say let's do nothing,
I say sometimes doing nothing is the most violent thing to do.
So cut the balls, just cut the balls!
And racism is also a problem,
so be like Kung Fu Panda - be white, black, asian
and cut the balls, just cut the balls!
They call me The Borat of Philosophy,
The Marx Brother and The Elvis of cultural theory.
Cut the crap and cut the balls, just cut the balls!

Hey, I am Slavoj Žižek!
No, I am Slavoj Žižek!
No, I am Slavoj Žižek,
Fuck that, whatever, let's all be Slavoj Žižek!

Grab and pull the imaginary balls from the sky,
cut through the air and say bye, bye, bye.
Let's join together, let's fall in trance,
let's dance The Perverted Dance™!

Cut the balls,
we need to cut the balls,
we need to cut the balls,
the balls of those in power!
We need to cut the balls.
and then take the bloody shower!
Just cut the balls,
make them become Niagara falls!

Cut the balls,
we need to cut the balls,
we need to cut the balls,
the balls of those in power!
We need to cut the balls,
let them face the final hour!
just cut the balls,
make them become Niagara falls!

Cut the balls,
we need to cut the balls,
we need to cut the balls,
the balls of those in power!
We need to cut the balls,
we need to cut the balls!
Just cut the balls,
make them become Niagara falls!

This stupid repetative mechanic music!
Stop it!

Thank you, thank you very much!

The problem is maybe not the big act "Cut the balls",
but you make small changes and all of a sudden, balls are no longer there.
Those in power look down and say "Oh, where are my balls?"
and suddenly their voices get higher and so on and so on and so on.
I stand by my joke. The structure of the joke is that this so called progressive intellectual,
in order to score his small narcissistic point, oh, I dusted the balls,
totally ignores the suffering there and that's the whole point of the joke.
So cut the balls, we need to cut the balls!

One of them is a panda in a mansuit.

I don't like seeing that either, but if you watch to the end they are actually in part of a larger area.

I'm hyper sensitive to that kind of stuff ever since i went to Beijing zoo. There was a really large enclosure, but it was really old, crumbling and in disrepair, cracks and holes in the floor here and there, all concrete, with one black bear inside pacing up and down by the only perspex window that was about 8 feet in length.

All the Chinese animals were in a special bit of the zoo - pandas and rhinos and all that, state of the art stuff. The 'rest of the world' animals were in the other bit that was old and poorly maintained. An American black bear was worthless to them I suppose.

Now even when i see animals in big areas, all i can see is that poor fucking thing almost dancing left and right for hours by the window to the outside. Really depressed myself writing this.

I left immediately and complained, but no one gave a shit or even understood.

Crazy, awesome!

But still a trash panda, so I have mixed feelings.

I'm beginning to understand why Pandas aren't interested in reproducing.