YOU are a powerful motherfucker!

(Intro)
Okay y’all. One thousand words in two minutes
Let’s do this
Yo...
(Verse 1)
In a couple minutes I'ma have to kill it
All the haters that just sit up on the web
But they will say that they don't feel it
But I'm never gonna listen to these idiots who dumb as fuck
I'll punch 'em and I'll kick 'em and I'll hit 'em with an uppercut
They told me that I got a record that I gotta break it
Get your woman naked in the garden she’ll be talking stank
I’ll fill my lungs up full of air and bust you till I hyperventilate
A thousand words, a hundred twenty seconds imma get it straight
I'ma grab the mothafuckin' sun and take a bite of it
I see a rapper try to say he sick but he a vitamin
You know that Mr Mac up on the track like it's a Viking ship
I rip the fucking beat up in to bits when I go psycho quick
All the ladies in the world is like "I love you, Mac"
I fry their brain up in your fuckin' noggin' when I bust a rap
I find a beat I really wanna kill and then I do
And all the mumble rappers in the game are dumb and sounding stupid
I’m an artist with a plan and stacking money in the videos
If that shit is a gimmick, tell the truth I wanna spit it slow
You don’t like the way that I be rappin’ fuckin’ sue me
I’ma get up on the stage and whip it out, just call me Louis
I’ma kill the crew but danny Mac is lethal with the skill
I am the king, I order you to have a pizza every meal
You acting cheesy like a bag of Doritos
I swear to god I’ll tape your mouth shut and throw you in the back of a vehicle
I’m a missile with the flow, I’m like a rapid torpedo
I got a gun up in my hand the size of Danny Devito
But now you sinkin’ like the fuckin’ Titanic
If anybody want a piece of this I’m thinner skinned and having to plan
Now listen to me, I don’t give a fuck about the shit that rappers meant
The world of fuckin’ choppin’
There’s a hundred million chapters baby
I could probably squat a fuckin’ elephant for fifty reps
I need to breathe a little bit of air right now and get my breath
I climb right up the wall like I’m a ninja with a weapon
I’m an angel and I’m evil pulling bitches up in heaven
Everybody call me Lethal, I’ve been rapping twenty years
And walk on water like I’m Jesus only rappin for the cheers before
I get up in the ring and fight a rapper I'm a black belt
And my hands on broken glass so I can leave the fucker battered
I’ma hit them with a bat right in the head until they dead
And make him take back all the dumb and stupid words he ever said
Let me take a breath so I can get back on the drums again
And sneak up on you like I’m the Phantom of the Opera
With a mask over my face but my teeth under your throat
And then I’m drinkin’ every droplet of your motherfucking blood, my friend
I’m just a product of Peter, the clip will pop in the heater
I got the spots of a cheeta
So when the gotta da vida
You better walk away
I’m rapping like a lunatic up on the mic and post it up on YouTube for the stupid chips
(Where’d you go?!)
(Verse 2)
So let me take another breath, I’m lookin’ hella dope
And I’ve been poppin’ since I made the pancakes cook up on the stove
And all you rappers up on YouTube had to treat me like the pope
‘Cause I’m the fuckin’ original
And you’re just huffing the chemicals and you’re just suckin’ like tentacles
Anybody this lyrical better just know I’m coming with the illest flow ever
Tryna kick that bull shit, you get your toes severed
Flames comin’ out my lungs you know I’m crushin’ every drum that ever popped up in the war path
Burning everything that I can see or smell or hear
That starts a fire in the sky and that’s the mother fucking forecast
People wanna say “Mac just raps fast. Really, he ain’t sayin’ shit”
You just mad ‘cause you can’t speak alien
Let’s do it
Gotta spit a lot of fuckin’ words in just a little time
I’m about to put a bomb inside your soul so I can blow your mind
I make it look so easy everybody wanna try it
But your lungs will probably suffocate and then you’ll end up dying
I’ma take a sword and cut my fuckin’ capillaries open
Lava coming out my mouth and all my raps are fuckin’ smokin’
Anybody wanna try to play the game with Mac is losin’
I be comin’ like a wolverine and show my teeth and chew ‘em
I’ma bite a silly rapper on the throat until he bleedin’
I’ll be taking every dollar out your pocket, now we even
I’ll be taking every crumb right off your plate, that’s how I’m eating
What the fuck you gonna do? I‘ll crack your soul and then I reach in
I’m the best that ever did this, other raps, they’re not a match for me
You gotta know that I can drop a line so hard it cracks a tree
I poke you in the eyeball with a microbe
Now you have to see that when I rap I don’t have to breathe

Oh shit! Two minutes and three seconds!
Well that was one thousand and thirty words
New world fuckin’ record! Yeah!
Oh shit... new world record

TRY AND DROOL ON ME NOW, MOTHERFUCKER!!!!

*promote

VOTE, motherfuckers!

Dude! Ants are stealing our JERNTS! Next it'll be our lighters, then our tasty tasty snacks!!

Daaaamn, I'd better smoke this bomber and eat these little Reeses motherfuckers before ants steal 'em.

Hmmm, seems ants are a bad influence. I should hang out with them more!

Bob you are the dumbest "MOTHERFUCKER" on this site.

I am not afraid in the slightest, no reason to if you have treated women with respect all of your life. Dr. Ford took a polygraph and passed, where are the results from BK's? Will never know because he either didn't take one or the RWNJ's in power today had a SHAM FBI investigation on it.

"Gygaxian motherfuckers" - I have to try this at my next session.

Not going to ban you for your opinion. But saying a veteran should have been kia is pretty goddamn low. You are, as all the dumbass motherfuckers on the interweb who have been calling him a traitor are, referring to the fact that he broke during his POW incarceration.

Here is a brief excerpt of the new techniques that came out right around the time he was captured. Techniques that were so insidious that the military had to REWRITE the code regarding breaking under torture.

"Some were physically tortured, some of them succumbed to the pain and broke, some did not, but there was also a new technique employed, and it took time.

Put into a dark box, not large enough to even stretch out, it is called sensory deprivation, and along with other enhancements, it turns a person insane, malleable, and open to the most ridiculous suggestions. like confessing to the war crime of being ordered to bomb hospitals and orphanages, and doing so.

Some of those who broke under this new kind of interrogation feared to be repatriated, thinking they would be tried for collaboration upon their return. American psychologists and psychiatrists, after interviewing some of these ex-POW’s, determined that, given enough time, anyone, if not everyone, could be broken.

John McCain made them start all over on him a number of times, until his Vietnamese interrogators finally gave up, and threw him into a miserable cell, and not back into his horribly, miserable dark box. His conduct, during his interrogation period, and thereafter, was nothing short of heroic."

Now, if you ever go through enhanced interrogation techniques, please feel free to report back to us how you managed not to break or suffer mental damage from them. Until that time, I find your opinion to be ill informed and lacking weight.

EDIT: Before you go saying I am a fanboy, I didn't care for him as a senator or presidential candidate. He was gullible enough to get sucked into the Keating Five mess and I didn't feel he would be a good president, so I voted democrat in 2008, even though I generally vote republican. I can still recognize him as a war hero and for his service though. The man was not a traitor.

Pup Fiction

"C'mon, say 'Don't scoot across the carpet' again!

I dare ya, I double dare ya motherfucker, say 'Don't scoot across the carpet' one more goddamn time!"

Ok, I gave it another go.

Jesus fucking christ.... you're right. It's still not that funny, but it is terrifying. That asshole laughing at the "it's not rape if it's your wife" gag? I think I could be pro-gun just in the hope that someone shoots that motherfucker.

To be honest, at this stage, I just found the accent and makeup distracting. It's unnecessary. You could probably just talk to these guys and they would say the same shit. No false persona required.

Ok, the bit about the kids being able to see in slow motion and the "cardi b neural pathway to the wiz khalifa" did make me laugh.

I met Omarosa back in 2003. Despite her political leaning, she was very friendly at a personal level. At the time, she was still studying for her doctorate at Howard University in Washington D.C. and worked in Northern VA where I met her. Jokes aside, she actually studied religion at Payne Theological Seminary and when she says "Jesus didn't say that!" I'd trust her more than lego-haired pouting motherfucker!

I had a pretty rough time in school. Plenty of people I would happily never see or speak to again.

But I don't think you should hold someone to account for dumb shit they did as a kid. Christ knows I did enough stupid shit in my youth. That doesn't mean you have to support them or even forgive them (at least not unless they make some effort to earn it), but I fail to see the point of dragging this up at a public meeting.

All that said, the superintendent's reaction is terrible here. If I was in the speakers position, having had the bravery to come forward and recount that experience, if my ex-bully had dismissed me like that, I'd have a very hard time not punching the motherfucker right there.

All he had to do was admit he was a stupid kid and apologise with a modicum of grace and humility. As it stands, I hope he loses his job because he's clearly a) an asshole and b) unfit.

Golly sir, I sure am glad you’re here to explain it to me, but just for shits and giggles, let me take a stab at it.

Elon Musk wants to make humanity a multi-planet species, otherwise we are at risk of some kind of planet wide extinction level event. Having looked at the problem, he thinks the fundamental issue is one of economics. If he can get the price per person for a trip to Mars down to $500k, he figures he’ll get enough mad, bad and rich AF people to give forming a colony a go.

But that first step from earth to orbit is motherfucking expensive and aside from crazy unproven tech like a space elevator, thanks to the Tyranny of the Rocket Equation there really isn’t a cheap way to do this in terms of energy expenditure.

Ok, thinks Elon, what’s the other major cost in this whole shooting things into space gig? Hmm, the big fucking rocket costs a lot... be nice if we could reuse that instead of building a new one each time.

So he works on building a reusable rocket, and after many hilarious videos of “rapid unscheduled disassembly”, fuck me if the damn thing doesn’t start to stick the landing!

So now we need to do the same, but with a bigger rocket and a heavier payload. Can’t really risk an actual payload (see previous video of RUD) so what to do?

Well, the sensible, cost effective thing would be just a big heavy weight. But that’s got fuck all viral marketing appeal, so if you’re gonna shoot something into space as part of a multi billion dollar rocket program, what’s a measly couple of hundred k compared to the millions in free advertising for both Tesla and SpaceX this will generate!

Well, look at that. Turns out I do understand this!

But if think sending an expensive sports car into space WASN’T a frivolous waste of money, I invite you to spend time with someone sleeping rough or a family who doesn’t know where their next meal is coming from.

As I said, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do it, but don’t pretend this was anything other than a billionaire doing something insanely cool and expensive because he thought it was cool.