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ant (Member Profile)

ant (Member Profile)

The Watermelon Joke That Saved Me After I Got Pulled Over

luxintenebris jokingly says...

moonsammy: great take. thumbs-up! crystalized my thoughts exactly!*

a couple of rules of comedy are 'know your audience' and [the joke] 'it has to be funny'. if there is no laugh, either you told it wrong, told it to the wrong person, or your wrong about it being funny. your audience is the final judge. not their duty to laff at your doody joke.

stukafox: okay [btw: the watermelon joke is very old] but not going w/the worst or nastiest, just with a few of old risqué ones.

novice is riding back to the convent w/the mother superior on their bicycles through the medieval section of the town. mother superior tells the novice "let's cut through this alleyway". the alley is long, rough and bumpy but the novice agrees. when they get back on the regular route the novice says, "that was new! I've never come that way before!" mother superior says, "it's the cobblestones."

a woman notices her neighbor's tomatoes are fully ripening while her's are still green. she asks him "how do you get your tomatoes to ripen so quickly?" he tells her, "I get up around dawn while I'm still in my bathrobe and open it and flash them. they get so embarrassed they turn red." women tells him she's going to try it but later in the evening. the next day, the neighbor sees the woman and asks "so? did it work?" the woman turns to tell him, "no. it didn't - but YOU SHOULD SEE MY CUCUMBERS!

an old woman was talking w/her younger friend. old woman tells her about some of the older woman in town. "oh! don't let them fool you! they were pretty wild in their day! " then she went on and listed all the men a trio of sisters went through and each tête à tête they had. the list was shockingly impressive enough that the younger woman said, "gee...maybe they couldn't help themselves...maybe they suffered from a hereditary disease?" the old woman cocks her head back and eyes the younger woman then says, "hereditary? hell! yes! it was! it was IN THEIR JEANS!!!"



*david letterman

Sea Cucumber Poop Is Surprisingly Good For the Ecosystem

bjornenlinda (Member Profile)

How to Make Easy Chicken Gyros

Man Lights 10K Sparklers on Fire for New Year and Result....

possom says...

Made one when i was a kid, with only a few boxes.. about the size of a cucumber, wound tightly in electrical tape. It was more sound and pressure than fire. Tremendous pressure.. from dozens of meters away, it felt like someone lightly slapped me on the chest. Based on that experience, and the size of this one, I was horrified at how close they were and expected that car to be severely damaged, especially the glass, and them to all be hospitalized.

I guess with a smaller set, there isn't enough opening at the top for all of that pressure to escape, which results in a more explosive reaction. Here that pressure is venting straight up into the air.

700 Flavors of soda pop

siftbot says...

Tags for this video have been changed from 'soda, pop, cola' to 'soda, pop, cola, store, Glass bottle, Galcos, cane sugar, cucumber soda' - edited by notarobot

Cats VS Cucumbers

Cats VS Cucumbers

Ants Are Like No Living Thing on Earth

Flying Kitty Surprise

MilkmanDan says...

To be fair, I don't see "check all hollow volumes for the presence of small stowaway mammals" in the pre-flight checklist:
http://flighttraining.aopa.org/students/presolo/skills/howtopreflight.html

A cat (or whatever) that doesn't want to be found probably isn't going to interfere with control surfaces working correctly, etc. This is exactly the kind of very infrequent, random event that human beings are likely to overlook when doing something like a routine check that comes back nominal 99.9% of the time.

So, I'd wager that the pilot probably did all of the checks correctly and they just failed to reveal the one-in-a-million chance of "cat in wing". And to swing the other direction a bit and praise him instead of admonishing, he was admirably cool as a cucumber while coming back in for a semi-emergency landing. So I guess I'd argue for "pilot win" instead of "pilot fail".

Ashenkase said:

So much for the pre-flight safety check... pilot fail.

Unbelievable Exploding Plants

What is this thing and what's it doing?

MilkmanDan says...

I don't think the original video had audio, or at least I didn't hear it. Fun to hear them talking about it in Thai, although they don't say anything particularly scientifically relevant -- more like "augh! help me!" (out of surprise) and then some mild cussing about it.

The caption/title I get from the original video says:
"น่ากลัว หนอนทะเล เป็นแบบนี้"

First word is "na-grua" which means "scary", or more directly/literally "worthy of fear". The second word is compound, "nohn-talay" which means "worm-ocean", or "marine worm" would be a less literal but better English translation. The last word is actually 3 words: "pben baap ni", which roughly means "is like this". So an overall translation of the YT video title would be "this is a scary marine worm".

...Oops, and just now I'm seeing the YT description, which has a lot more Thai and does specifically mention Nemertea -- so that is probably correct. It looks and behaves a lot like some of the sea cucumbers that I've seen, although most tend to have a bit more texture or protrusions on their skin. But there are definitely sea cucumbers that are as smooth as this thing. Compare with a similar sea cucumber video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKWSLg5PDiU

Quite similar, but sounds like the Nemertea does this to eat whereas the Sea Cucumber does it as a defense mechanism.
--EDIT-- Whoops, embedded the wrong video. Should be fixed now

eric3579 said:

UPDATE below also see new video description and original video

The caption is in Thai and describes the creature as a Nemertea, or a ribbon worm, which shoots a proboscis (elongated nose) out of a hole above its mouth to capture prey.

Presumably, that is what is going on here.

When not stretched out like an alien life form, the proboscis normally sits in “a fluid-filled chamber above the gut,” according to Encyclopedia Britannica.

And here’s a description of how it works from NCSU:

"When the animal senses a prey organism nearby, a circular muscle layer around the proboscis sheath rapidly and vigorously contracts. This contraction forces the fluid from the proboscis sheath into the proboscis and, in the process, literally turns it inside out, blowing it out of the proboscis sheath. The proboscis will rapidly (within a second or so) wrap itself around the prey, which is then drawn to the mouth and eaten."

from http://thedailywh.at/2015/05/nope-day-internet-disgusted-mystified-ribbon-worm/

What is this thing and what's it doing?

MilkmanDan says...

...Well, technically I suppose it's more of a cloaca-shooting worm.

But yeah. Pretty much.

And it is definitely a sea cucumber species of some kind. I've seen then while snorkeling, and my dad picks them up on dives and intentionally tries to get them to do this. I've seen him do it, and I feel like I've seen them gradually start to suck the guts that get expelled back into their bodies. If they really can't do that, as @atara 's link suggests (but they regenerate in roughly a month or less I guess) I might discourage him from provoking them to do that intentionally in the future.

mxxcon said:

Are you saying it's a butt-shooting worm?



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