I WANT MY MONEY BACK!

If there's going to be a fart in a video, I want a pavement-cracking ripper louder than a ship's horn. I want a blast radius. I want weeping men and shrieking women. I want people 200 miles downwind to think Bhopal fucked Chernobyl and the offspring came blasting out of that woman's ass like The Four Horsemen riding out of Hell. I want sermons written about it. I want it commemorated in legends as epic as a Viking saga and as long-lived as The Canterbury Tales. I want it spoke of only in whispers. I want the Alpha Centuri LIGO to peg so hard that the aliens look at it and mutter, "Ohhhhhh, fuck..."

This was none of those.

This wasn't a full-on fart, it was an asterisks on a turd. This was a "tee-hee" fart, not a "OH JESUS FUCK -- EVACUATE THE WEST COAST AND CALL THE ARMY!" butt-blast. I'd be ashamed to call this one of my own; I'd wrap it in a blanket and dump it in front of the SPD station down the street so our Boys in Blue could take one look at it, sadly shake their heads, and forswear their sacred duty by tossing it in a dumpster.

Mordhaus, you promised me a fart video and you gave me two monochromatic outcomes of butter and corn syrup consumption babbling on; waddling parentheses around a feeble "pbt".

SIR, I DEMAND BETTER OF MY FART VIDEOS AND I -WILL- SEE YOU IN COURT!!

(I farted)

Exactly which part is fake, lie, or a half truth? The recordings of Trump's inner circle trying to change or decertify the certified votes in multiple states, asking election officials too "find" thousands of non existent votes, to just decertify the vote (not a thing) and leave fixing the election to Trump, or the recordings of Trump himself personally doing the same?

Keep being the fool and trusting a repeatedly convicted con man and charity fraud over literally everyone else besides a crack head nutjob.

What forensic audit? You mean the unofficial review Cyber Ninjas can't produce? The one that had you claim 75000 unregistered votes were cast because they were too incompetent to understand the numbers and counted in person votes as unregistered mail in votes?! The review that spent months scanning for bamboo fibers on ballots?! The review by a hyper biased company that spread the big lie before being chosen for this farce? They've smeared themselves.
It would have been more trustworthy if Hunter Biden did this review by himself with no oversight whatsoever.

There isn't a forensic audit, dummy. Cyber Ninjas did an unofficial ballot review, they're incapable of an audit, they have zero experience or training in doing one, and hired only stop the steal people to work for them....in fact they've proven to be incapable of even a basic review, getting it horrendously wrong every time they tried to leak their "findings". If Democrats put on a farce like this, the party would die, because democratic voters aren't willing to ignore reality and support blatant lies like Republicans have made their only platform. Lie, lie often, lie big, lie until people believe your lie, then lie more.

What are Cyber Ninjas hiding? employees went out of their way to ensure that the observers saw as little as possible, at times intentionally blocking them from seeing computer screens and engaging them in “loud, pointless conversations” to prevent them from hearing other conversations.
What the observers could see did not inspire confidence....https://www.tucsonweekly.com/tucson/sick-and-twisted-cyber-ninjas-election-review-delayed-after-key-team-members-come-down-with-covid/Co
ntent?oid=31191035

They're weeks beyond their extended deadline that came months and months after the three weeks they said it would take to do their meaningless unprofessional unofficial review....and they've got NOTHING or it would have been released to the press the next day (like their "find" of 75000 "unregistered mail in votes" was).

If they have such election reversing proof, why are they hiding it....just like everyone who's ever claimed to have "proof"....including all Trump's lawyers, republican senators, talk radio con men, and moronic blowhards who believe them with no evidence whatsoever, they're certainly not releasing any of the "proof" they keep claiming to have....I'll point you to Mike Lindell and his idiotic cyber symposium that offered not a single bit of evidence about the election, much less proof of any fraud. What are they hiding it for?

At this point, if it was true there was massive election fraud, aren't Republicans the ones hiding the proof the election was defrauded? They haven't presented a scintilla of real evidence to back up their claims, just accusations layered upon accusations glazed with supposition and sprinkled with insane conspiracy.

Democrats have been demanding their final report for months, moron. Why is Cyber Ninjas hiding? Why are they so afraid to turn over their results? If they have proof, why are they hiding it?

There is none so blind as he who will not see. You will not see, no matter how clear and in your face the proof is that the election was not "rigged" or "stolen", no matter how clear the evidence is that Trump and his lackeys tried to steal the election by hook and by crook, tried to simply discard the election because they legitimately lost, and when that failed tried to steal the country by force through a deadly coup....yet somehow you "see" evidence and proof of voter fraud that's never been presented except against Republicans...and you don't see those frauds.


So just slink away in shame again, hiding from your dishonest positions once they're proven to be wrong and ignorant....Again. It's a pattern.

Crack.

Right after Jackass came out, a couple of friends-of-a-friend decided to stage their own version of the movie -- with a hornet's nest. They found the thing hanging from a tree at the edge of a field and it was not remotely on the small size. Also, this was in late August and the queen had already flown away, leaving the drones to slowly starve to death. Thus, the enormous number of stripey-stripey sting-stings were already good 'n' pissed-off.

They were about to get moreso.

So chowderhead A and chowderhead B have a brilliant plan: they're going to shoot this enormous ball full of astoundingly-irate murderous insects with a shotgun while they're filming it. If you're hearing banjos playing and luke-warm cheap beers being cracked open, you're about in the right frame of mind.

Places, everybody!

The stage is set: on one end, at what's decided to be "minimum safe distance", are our erstwhile David Attenborough/Jonny Knoxville knock-offs. At a decidedly NOT minimum safe distance away is the arthropod version of the T'sar Bomba. All we're missing now is a Mossberg, enough idiocy to think this can end any way but badly, and a camera. With far too much alacrity for what's about to happen, all three are provided.

Aaaaaand, ACTION!

* BOOOM! *

At first, surprisingly, nothing happens. This period of stasis lasts roughly a picosecond. Then, unsurprisingly, things start to happen and they happen far more quickly than the Chuckle Brothers planned on. This plays out in three acts:

Act 1: "Hey, uh, why is the nest still there?"
Act 2: "Uh-oh..."
Act 3: "FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!"

Hubris takes many forms, and schadenfreude takes twice as many, but both combined were statistically zero compared to the number of hornets involved in this fiasco. Had the two Mensa escapees who irked said hornets thought this thing through -- stop laughing -- perhaps they would have arrived at the conclusion that 1. a shotgun slug is not the preferred load-out when dealing with a ball made out of wasp puke and 2. being the only two things visible within a 20 mile radius of the ball made out of wasp puke pretty much negates the mystery of who the hornets are going to sting the ever-loving fuck out of.

With their plans in ruins and the nest not, our heroes decide to quit the field. This is the first smart thing they've done since looking at that big ball of wasps and deciding it was redolent with untapped hilarity. The hornets are having none of this white flag nonsense, however, and they decide to quit screwing around and really inflict some pain. It's a quarter mile back to the car and the hornets are going to make them pay for every inch of it.

The final score:
Hornet losses: meh, they were all going to die in a few weeks anyway.
The chucklenuts: 23 stings, a dropped shotgun, and three minutes of footage that they took in the pre-YouTube era and thus is lost to time.

Moral:
Hornets are not toys.

enjoyed it too.

guess they couldn't go to the other tools on the list...

- bastard file
- dike
- bush hammer
- crack weeder

or what he may do as work...

- butt glazing
- erection drawings
- laying studs

Nope, sorry. Another total failure of your memory.

This is Trump's retreat, negotiated by Trump with the criminal terrorists who gave up absolutely nothing to get Trump's unconditional surrender and retreat. In the process, Trump delegitimized and abandoned the legitimate Afghan government and indicated they would not be supported by the U.S. military. He also abandoned those Afghanis who risked their lives to help us, making absolutely no plans to identify or allow them to immigrate here, instead actually putting active road blocks in the way, slowing or discarding their applications, and not staffing positions required to process applications. Biden was left to facilitate the disastrous agreement Trump made when he "negotiated" (actually just capitulated) with terrorists but did not prepare for. Biden failed to fix this disastrous withdrawal Trump caused and botched, he didn't cause it.

I understand, with an IQ below 75, it's hard for you to remember who did what. Trump made this happen, bragged about it until a few weeks ago. Trump released 5000+ of the Taliban from prison then unconditionally surrendered to them last spring without consulting the Afghan government. The only concession he got was an agreement from terrorists to not attack the U.S. during the retreat until May but attacking the Afghanis was allowed...Biden got that extended through August.

Got 25th? Could you mean implement the 25th amendment? When did right wing nutjobs lose their ability to speak English?

Won't happen....if Delusional Donny wasn't demented and dementia riddled enough to remove, Biden has nothing to worry about at all. His mental state makes Trump look like a Alzheimer's patient and stroke victim who's addicted to crack. Is that why he's besties with the My Crackpipe Guy now....that's his dealer?
Are you advocating for President Harris? How about President Pelosi? Do you even realize that's what happens if Biden was removed? Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face! Lol.

How'd you like Lindell's "proof" today? 5 columns of....numbers? Letters? Matrix symbols? It looked like his cat rolled on his keyboard and his crack addled brain said "we got em now!"
Yep....he sure proved election fraud with that. I guess Trump will be moving back to DC.

🤦‍♂️

It's disappointing the cyber ninja lie fell apart so quickly...gullible you only had an hour or so to buy in before people with brains figured out they compared the mail in ballots sent list with the mail in ballot and early in person voting received list. I wanted you more invested before the bubble burst, next time. You were going to be so ready for civil war based on those 74000 votes they assured you were frauds but turned out to be their own incompetence at best, or much more likely another attempt to dupe the gullible and harvest your cash. Now what will you do with your white male rage?

https://www.c-span.org/video/?c4970702/user-clip-guys-crack-up

people dying?!? LOLOLOLOL man that's a knee slapper

Try again, troll. It's on Trump Jr's rumble page, and now the entire unedited video is posted instead of the cut version. All real.

Anyways, we all know Biden doesn't practice nepotism like Trump, so whatever problems his son may or may not have are moot, unlike the Trump's that were all deeply involved in Daddy's administration and who all took tens of millions in foreign bribes to sell out America in the deals they set up and Daddy agreed to.

Also, let's not forget the main player left supporting the election fraud fraud actually is a long term, heavy, and admitted crack head. That crack head as Trump's right hand man and advisor doesn't seem to bother you, just like Don Jr's long time public coke and crack habits don't.

Good try at a deep fake, not. Anyways, we all know President Biden's son is the real crack head.

How'd you like Dumb Donald's low energy, rambling, disjointed, delusional, dementia ridden speech this weekend? He doesn't have a speech impediment, but he still cannot give a rational or intelligible speech, even when he's reading one. He's sure making Biden look good by comparison.

Are you getting time off so you can spend a grand to be in Don the Con's presence for a few hours? You do understand that he's telling you by planning these events that he knows there's zero chance he will be president again, despite what his crack head friends say.

When you buy your tickets, can you post the disclaimer that comes with it? I want to know how he words the "no refunds if I'm in court or prison on the event dates" clause.

Yeah, I initially was disturbed by the sinking, but one of the architects they spoke to about it said if it was uneven sinking it would be easily spotted by tenants due to the cracking of floors, walls, and ceilings. They are also saying it is a classic example of pillar failure, which the building rests on, but they can't be certain of what caused it. It could be poor quality concrete or spalling, if that is found it is definitely the builder's fault.

Repeated non partisan recounts, above board by republican chosen organizations with bipartisan witnesses and uninterrupted video despite the lies OAN told you, with no Italian satellites wirelessly changing Trump votes (you delusional morons forgot there is a paper record of all votes that's been verified as matching the electronic counts). It's been proven twice over.
The fake audit dragging on now is none of those things, it's purely partisan, there aren't bipartisan witnesses, it's not all recorded, it has no rules, no plan, and no professionals involved, just Trumpsters trying to find any nonsense they can use to fool morons into believing they found fraud, Trump won, you really aren't all loser crybabies butt hurt over losing and throwing tantrums....but the thing is, you are.

Prove it was above board? How about give one scintilla of proof it wasn't, not crack heads spouting bullshit, not babies whining that they won, proof. So far every single bit of proof has shown every single case of demonstrable fraud was perpetrated by Trump voters for Trump. From double voters to voter suppression to hundreds of thousands of "lost" mail in ballots Dejoy refused court orders to even look for, Texas, all cases are Trump frauds....but you don't care a whit about that massive, multi spiked wheel of fraud because it ALL benefited Trump.

Prove it was above board? Ask any Republican in office if THEIR election was through fraud. Every single one will tell you no. If the ballots that elected them are not fraudulent, neither was the presidential election on the same ballots. Try it, see what happens.

Prove it was above board? No amount of incontrovertible proof would ever satisfy you, because you are incapable of examining it and understanding so you defer to whatever rambling mumbling nonsense Trump and Q feed you, never grasping that they lie to you at every turn but instead insisting it's reality that has it all wrong, Trump won two elections, climate change both isn't real and is a good thing, trickle down works, insane debt is both the most important thing we should focus on and a nothing burger, poorly built fences that fall in the wind are huge immovable concrete walls....I could go on all day.

We had multiple bipartisan professional forensic audits, that's where they found all that Republican fraud. You want a partial audit by fully partisan political hacks that are part of the stop the steal cult, not looking for fraud (bamboo ballots, really?!), they're looking to continue the circus long enough that you don't forget the big lie before the next election, and hoping to destroy the capabilities of any county that went to Biden to hold the next election....Maricopa needs to rebuy tens of millions in election equipment because any machine you morons touched has been permanently decertified and must be discarded (should be destroyed so republican counties don't buy them knowing they've been tampered with). Now you want to repeat that in all 50 states, only in counties that went for Biden. How about this, I think many would agree to that, but only if the auditors pay to replace all election equipment in counties they audit before they get approval, and do not get personally identifying information under any circumstances (in AZ they want names, addresses, criminal records, and social security numbers....all unsecured and gone through by unqualified unsupervised unverified certifiable morons who are guaranteed to turn around and sell it to hackers.) That means $10-50 million per audit...up front in cash.

The "audit" being done by cyberninjas isn't forensic. They have zero experience. It's like a complicated death happened and the main suspect is handed the body to make their own determination of how they weren't murdered, they fell on all 14 knives while accidentally shooting themselves in the face 6 times....case closed, the suspect now inherits the victims estate and wife. So retarded, useless, and in no way a real investigation. It's a bullshit show for morons.

Yes, republicans are blocking that nonsense too, because it's not an audit, it's an incredibly expensive exercise in destroying trust in elections....a Putin plan that undeniably hurts America but has zero chance of actually producing evidence, proof, or rational theories of fraud. There's absolutely no way it could overturn the election even if it did find massive election outcome changing fraud (hasn't found non-republican fraud yet, btw, been 7 months of searching under every rock so far)...That's not how the law works. Sadly, you get legal advice from a crackhead and Giuliani, both clinically insane.

I wonder. What do you morons think? Do you believe if they can find ANY fraud from Democrats the position is just handed to Republicans? 1) There's already been massive Republican frauds found but no Republican handed over their seats 2) there's no mechanism for decertifying a certified election and 3) if there were, it would mean a special election, not that Trump just gets installed. Trump's favorability is 1/2 Biden's, same goes for many Republican senators and representatives. If there was a new election today, it would be a shutout against Republicans. Not a blue wave, not a blue tsunami, but a biblical blue flood, and your team can't build boats or swim. Is that what you want?

Might want to rethink this anti American, undemocratic plot to steal elections after the fact, it's destroyed your party's future, reputation, and further damaged you're believability and trustworthiness that were already on life support.

Cry us more snowflake tears, Bobby....I'm making lemonade and need the sweet syrup of sadness to keep flowing.

Another indicted Republican, Texas attorney general Ken Paxton, admitted to helping essentially rig the election in the state of Texas so that Donald Trump would win the state. He did this by blocking 2.5 million ballot applications from being sent to Harris county, where Houston is, because if even half of Houstonians voted, Biden would have crushed Trump in Texas, and he knew it, so he blocked sending out applications for mail in ballots (and removed all but one ballot drop box for nearly 4 million voters in Harris County) by claiming they were illegal ballots.
" If we'd lost Harris county, which is where Houston is, Trump won by 620,000 votes in Texas, Harris county mail-in ballots (he actually blocked applications) that they wanted to send out were two and a half million. Those were all illegal." (They weren't though, and it seems he didn't block them elsewhere in Texas) "We were able to stop every one of them.
We would have been one of those battleground states that were counting votes in Harris county for three days. And Donald Trump would have lost the election."

It wasn't fear of fraud, it wasn't the law, it was purely because if voters voted, Trump would have lost Texas by millions of votes. That's why they suppressed the vote in certain parts of Texas. They admit it clearly. Even Texas has rejected Republicanism, but Texas republicans have no problem cheating voters and committing massive fraud if it keeps republicans in power.

One more instance of massive voter fraud by Republicans in 2020, still not a single Democratic voter fraud case, and still Big Daddy Biden crushed diaper Don by millions....without the multiple verified frauds and massive voter suppression he may have won by 20 million or more, definitely >10 mil if just Texas played fair.

Enjoy 2024. Red tsunami?

Ps, don't think I didn't notice you ignored my last post in favor of just denigrating Biden for his age while ignoring Trump's rapid slide deeper into delusional dementia, and his failing health. For fucks sake, his most trusted advisor is a brain dead crack head, the only one who agrees with his nonsense. Even you, delusional sycophant that you are, won't stoop to defend Trump's fitness for office now, you just make up nonsense about Biden to make yourself feel better instead. So sad.