Thanks for helping to raise awareness of this important campaign.

I also hate animals, and want as many wildebeest, zebras and buffalo as possible to be brutally killed, torn apart and devoured.

Strange compared to what I'm used to... In the UK if you set a single foot (or wheel of a bike or push buggy) onto a zebra crossing then all traffic must stop for you. It looks like a zebra crossing but different place, different rules!

Fascinating film. You can actually see many of the evolutionary precursors showing how humans evolved from zebras. At times it is even like the zebra body has human arms inside it.

But seriously, it has to suck to feel like a piece of zebra meat walking through a lion's den all the time.

It's obviously a cultural thing that makes that behavior acceptable. It's human nature for men to have obscene thoughts about what looks to them like a hot piece of ass, but it's an unspoken agreement among "those people" that it's okay to actually act on those thoughts.

My wife has often been the target of strangers' attention, but I think neither she nor I would consider it harassment per se, though she has many times felt uncomfortable, ignored people, and tried to get away from them.

I think it would have a use for emergency vehicles. (the glowing part, not the zebra stripes)

Everyone knows this, but it's different when it's happening right in front of you and taking you completely by surprise. I've seen a lion kill a zebra, right in front of our vehicle as close as these guys are to the action and it's completely different seeing it in the flesh as it is watching it in a video.

You can see the fear in the struggling prey. You can hear it gasping for breath and struggling to cry out. You can feel the power of the lioness. You can see the blood pumping out of the prey into the lion's mouth and running down it's side. Flesh being ripped from the prey while it's still panting its last.

It's a harrowing experience. Whether you know that they eat meat or not, if you're not moved watching this happen just feet from you then there's something wrong with you. It's a wild, exciting, horrible, awesome thing to see. Just because it's completely natural and normal for the lion doesn't mean that someone seeing it for the first time should feel comfortable watching it. It's not a comfortable thing to see.

Watching a cat catch a mouse is one thing, but lions are working on a human scale. It's doing what it could do to you. Seeing it for real is a massive adrenaline rush because your body is well aware that it shouldn't be that close to what's happening, even if your mind can overrule it, you still get the rush.

Anyone going on safari knows that lions eat other animals, it's one of the things people really want to see. When we saw it there was one young lady with us who couldn't watch because it upset her too much, and it's not because she was a wuss, it just really was upsetting to see. Doesn't mean she thought the lion shouldn't be doing it, it's not a moral judgement in the slightest, she just didn't want to watch an animal die like that.

Firstly i'd like to say that it's clear to me you're not interested in discussing this, but rather somehow interested in some sort of conflict. I'm not, and i spent a good while thinking about my post before making it; your suggestion that i didn't read your post is soundly rejected. Possibly you didn't read or acknowledge the content of your own post because you have forced yourself into a position where all i have to do is show one single example of something being funny at the expense of no one or nothing to prove you wrong and now you have to be rude (the first sign you know your position is indefensible) and provide little to no justification of any of your numbered points (because you know they are weak).

I'll be honest, i'm not going to entertain suggestions that a joke can be at the expense of an inanimate object or fictional character. Between that and your distinctly shoddy arguments I think you're trolling.

A joke at the expense of a stick? At the expense of a fictional character? ET is not something or someone. It doesn't exist, it is a construct of our imagination and does not have physical form. It isn't even a "thing" (if i say that unicorns are arrogant bastards, does that make me xenophobic? They don't exist, but if ET can suffer jocular expense, unicorns can suffer expense at my comment also. I hate martians too, they're all short, ugly, grey bastards. Am i a racist now?). The zebra thing isn't actually a riddle - it pretends to be a riddle and ends up being silly; i can't understand your reasoning on this and you didn't explain it (no surprises there, your post is full of holes).

When you tell someone a joke, you are entering into a contract by which both people know that word play or trickery is going to be involved. By taking part in the joke, you are voluntarily allowing yourself to be misled so that a juxtaposition of ideas in your head makes you laugh. You aren't laughing at the expense of yourself. In the same way as reading a book or watching a film - you are not being lied to, you are not being tricked, you are a willing participant. When a magician performs a trick for you, you are suspending your disbelief and participating in a flight of fancy for entertainment purposes. Magic isn't shadenfreude either - no one suffers expense, they both enjoy and know that skilful subterfuge has taken place - though i'm sure you'll argue the contrary before you admit you've over committed to your point.

If a clown puts on an act for you and you laugh when his trousers fall down, you aren't laughing at the expense of the clown because he did it intentionally to make you laugh, he did not suffer expense. You are not laughing at the expense of yourself because you know that what he is doing is an act, you did not suffer expense (except for the ticket price, badum tish - there's another 'joke' at the expense of nothing/no one).

What you've tried to do is supply the definition of "joke" or "humour" such that the definition involves the word "trick" in a negative context and thus lead to shadenfreude. Not everyone thinks the same way as you do, which is what i tried to explain to you earlier; if you want to say "to me, everything is shadenfreude - i laugh only ever at the expense of something/someone" then i say fair enough, but that is not what you initially said.

So if/when you first heard the stick joke, you laughed AT the stick? The ET joke, you laughed AT ET? You laughed AT the mathemetician? I don't believe you, but regardless that isn't the point you made; many if not most other people are not laughing at ET or the stick, they are laughing at the juxtaposition of ideas. And therefore comedy/humour (not your very specific definition of it, which is irrelevant to our debate) is not ALWAYS at the expense of others, even if i accept that something that doesn't exist/is inanimate can suffer an emotional expense.

And finally, i don't understand the metaphorical suggestion that i shunned your need for air, when actually i spent a good 20 minutes providing you with air only to have you turn round and say "that's not air, it's nitrogen and oxygen with trace amounts of other gases!" and pull a trollface before passing out. Don't worry though, i'll drag you back to shore and make sure you're ok (this post).

I'll explain who's expense they each are at....
1. the stick's expense edit: and the reader's
2. ET's expense edit: and the reader's
3. mathematician's expense
4.your and/or the DR's expense
5.zebra's expense (edit: but riddles aren't really jokes, even though you may find humor in the consternation of others due to your trickery)
6. penguin's expense

I never said they were all offensive, horrible, or nasty, only that there is always a target for/of the joke/misunderstanding.
I suppose puns may be an exception, if you call that a joke, but they are still at the listener's expense to a degree (as they are intentionally misled and made to look the fool).
7. at Bob's(and the reader's) expense
8. fish's expense
9. bad magic trick at the magician's expense
10. bad piano at the player's expense
11. fictional character's expense
12. Lebowski's expense
13. fish's expense
14. your expense
15. doug's expense
16. listener's expense
17. skeleton's expense
No one said they would be offensive, only at someone's or something's expense. Play's on words hardly count as "jokes" but they are still at something's expense, even if it's only the listener who was tricked by the teller.
I could go on and on, but I'm not being paid for this either. I hope I opened your eyes to the idea that all humor IS at someone/thing's expense.
Now dread away. I'm not embarrassed that you didn't read my post/comment closely.

EDIT: ...and when I was begging for air, I was under water...and you just laughed and said "I see air".

No problem. I've got a few jokes for you straight off the bat - what's brown and sticky? A stick. What's ET short for? He's only got little legs. Did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil. Doctor doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Pull yourself together! What's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra. What's black and white, black and white, black and white? A penguin rolling down a hill.

Hell, Tim Vine does hundreds of one liners in half an hour and the majority of them are not at anyone's expense.

I think you've confused what you find funny with the term "humour" as it were. You may only find shadenfreude funny, and so you think all humour is shadenfreude, but it is patently obvious that things can be humourous without being at someone's expense and i find it almost petulant to be asked to prove it when it is so obvious. You almost certainly know loads of jokes like that. How does Bob Marley like his donuts? Wi' jam-in. I stood there, wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger and bigger..... and then it hit me. What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Dam.

From what i remember of Lenny Henry's standup (like him or not) in the old days, he didn't often tell a joke at someone's expense. Tommy Cooper used to make people laugh by doing bad magic tricks. Les Dawson used to make people laugh by playing the piano badly as only a good pianist can. Terry Pratchett makes me laugh by conjuring up funny situations in a fictional world. I laughed at the Big Lebowski when he shaded the pad of paper to see what secret notes Jackie Treehorn was making and it turned out to be a doodle of a man holding his own cock. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. I bought some new viagra eye drops, cos they make me look hard. What do you call a man with a shovel on his head? Doug.

I could go on and on and on, but i don't get paid for this and i have other stuff to do, but i hope i've opened your eyes to whole new realms of comedy where people don't get hit in the face with stuff. Where are the Andes? At the end of your wristies. Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had no body to go with.

I'm so confused by your request for proof that i feel like someone's asked me "Air? What air? There's no air, i can't see any!"

I'm utterly dreading to read your reply if it says anything along the lines of "That ET joke is offensive to short people! That skeleton joke is offensive to people with eating disorders! The penguin joke is offensive to the penguin you pushed down the hill!" Please don't embarrass us both by doing that, we both know those jokes aren't offensive. (Or very funny, to be honest.)

Oh and lilithia, it's fine the amounts and all, I can wing that shit with my eyes closed, AND...
After i read your recipe, it inspired me to write these lyrics to a tune I shall flesh-out in studio (as i have been prone to be up-in lately recording hillbilly music) this punk tune, and here's the gyst and general set up and lyrics...so far (and yes, you Lilithia, inspired this song, as will be reflected in the credits)

I Steal Cookies - words and music by Chingalera, Choggie Kendall esq., BMC © 2014.

I steal cookies
It's something that I do
I steal cookies
Gonna steal some for you

I steal cookies
and hide'em in my shoe
I steal cookies,
yer gonna steal me some TOO!

(instrumental break and bridge)

I steal cookies
I steal em from the zoo
feed'em to the zebras
fed em to the, eeem-uuuu's

Gonna give you some cookies
if that 's what you wanna doooo
EAT SOME COOK-AhhhHHHS! (emphasize shouting)!

AFTER i STEAL EM FOR yOOOOOU!

(insert head-banging lead, two more bridges, and resolve here)

finished composition, less than 10 mins
(all these dern cookies will take wayyy longer to bake!)

@Jinx - Cool -- I knew Thalassemia and Sickle Cell Anemia were similar, but I didn't know SCA granted similar malaria protection. Probably both are evolutionary responses to the disease (although "response" makes it sound like there was a conscious agent responsible).

I went to Africa with my folks when I was 4-5 years old. We all took quinine for the malaria protection, but it must have been pre-mixed with stuff to take the bitter edge off of it, like the honey did for yours. But I guess at 4-5 years old I still thought it was pretty suspect tasting -- my folks ended up telling me that it was "zebra milk" in order to get me to choke it down.

The existence of the furry subculture has spoiled this for me. I can't quite shake the feeling that he's going to shut off the camera and go get fucked by a zebra or something.