To commemorate the channel's recent name-change from 'cooking' to 'FOOD, we are orchestrating this cuntess complete with prizes and the praise and admiration that goes with every winner. (BTW, there are no losers here, even if your diets consist primarily of MSG-infused feedbags, the contents of chafing-dish troughs at the local 5-gallon-tub buffet, or even if the only appointments in your kitchen(ette) consist of scavenged sporks and hot-sauce packets and a cheese-encrusted wave-emitter box).

Participants: (Capping the number at 5 FIVE 5, since the last cooking contest barely had 3 willing monkeys, two of which entered out of perhaps pity for a fool or enthusiasm for group participation beyond spit-pop and voyeurism)

Will submit a cookie recipe that;

A: they did not google or hear about from some Keebler faeries but have actually tasted themselves and this only other rule be also stipulated:

B: that it be a recipe that they have not themselves baked before

Entries could be a family cookie recipe or even one that a Famous Amos baker-type-baker makes with such a succulency that keeps you wanting them every day until your only hope is to smash every mirror in the house and start wearing clothes with no seams.

Of the entrants, 3 recipes will be chosen at random and yours-troll-ee, will execute the chemistry required to render them, in a clean, orderly kitchen, HAH!

A hand-picked panel of former strippers and female bartenders will judge the entries chosen at some near future date and yes, ON-CAMERA.

PRIZES:

1st Place
Shall receive a dozen of each of the 3 chosen entries fresh-baked and delivered to a physical address of their choosing in a decorative tin (yours to keep), and a T-shirt.

(*The T-shirt will be chosen FOR the contestant after the winner has completed a Myers-Briggs Personality Test online, and has submitted the results of the same to myself. It will drop-shipped to a physical address of their choosing.)

2nd Place
Shall receive a dozen of each of the 3 chosen entries fresh-baked, (in a bag also containing mouse-traps) delivered to a physical address of their choosing

3rd Place
Will receive a mystery package (which will also contain some cookies), to be delivered to a physical address of their choosing. (containing NO contraband, live animals, etc., just some good-clean fun)

Entrants may trust me to be an individual of sound ethical intent and that there are no (immediate or lasting) risks to having me send them something in the mail, as more than a few current and former members of the site may attest to, if I could remember who they were or what the heck it was I sent them


Cheers and good luck to anyone who wishes to participate.
The contest will commence when five entrants are declared....sometime in 2014??