A pessimist is just a well informed optimist.

The glass is half empty, and therefore I must have sex with it.

^ when i feel half empty, i go have sex with someone random.

I love the Demotivators in general. Check them out at despair.com, they'll make you laugh for a long time.

>> ^Fjnbk:
I love the Demotivators in general. Check them out at despair.com, they'll make you laugh for a long time.




Except inside. Inside you will be crying

Scientologist 'The glass is full of evil demons, which I can remove for $5000.'

Baptist: There isn't enough water in the glass to convert anyone.

Jehovah's Witness: No more water can get to heaven then what's in the glass.

Jew: Half a glass? Why do I only get half a glass? For that price I should get two glasses!

Far Side: Hey! I ordered a cheeseburger!

Libertarian: The water would taste better if people were responsible for doing their own water quality testing.

Republican: Liberals took the other half in taxes, and gave it to gay illegal immigrants who just had abortions to harvest the stem cells for research on global warming, which isn't happening since it got cold in winter.

Austrian economist: The glass would be full if we were still on the Gold Standard.

Ron Paul: The Federal Reserve stole the other half through artificially increased evaporation.

Milton Friedman: Only private industry could have produced this glass and the process by which this water came to you.

Paul Krugman: We need to fill the glass up to increase people's marginal propensity to drink.

Videosifter: This glass won't sift unless the water bursts into flame, or is tossed in someone's face, or is really highly concentrated hydrochloric acid, or better yet, all three.

Oh, and how could I forget these:

Democrat: The failed policies of the Republicans have brought you to the point where all you have left is half a glass of water.

Progressive: The Democrats would've brought you Universal Healthcare, but they wanted to reach a bipartisan compromise with the Republicans, so this is all you got.