I heard you were looking for me. (Blog Post)

Here I am. Somewhere in southern Afghanistan, loving life. I'm moving to a new base tomorrow, where hopefully I'll have a more stable, faster connection so I can post a few picture for you. I keep seeing emails saying my posts have been promoted, so thanks to all who did that. I'll catch up with you when I can!

Greetings from Кыргызстан! (Blog Post)

Landed in Kyrgyzstan last night after what came close to a 24 hour trip. We started in Norfolk, VA, then went on to Newfoundland, Canada, then to Liepzig, Germany, and then to here. We'll be here for a little while and then it's off to Afghanistan, where I still don't know what I'll be doing or who I'll be doing it with. This base is used for troops entering theater, and it's pretty nice for what it is. I'd go fat if I lived here. The chow hall has a "bar" with sausage patties, tubs of bacon and eggs all ready for you to scoop as much as you want. That, and they give out free candy bars. I have no self-control when it comes to free candy. I have a REALLY bad sweet tooth.

Ok, y'all. I'm going to get going. I'll be back who knows when.

I feel like the boy who cried wolf (Blog Post)

But we have a flight date. Not just a window, but an actual date. We are actually leaving this time. Flight is confirmed to leave Norfolk, VA at 8:30 pm. This one's for real, because it's not just a flight window, but a flight date. I won't be around much until then, and especially after. Don't have too much fun without me.

Holy shit. Maybe this is the last time? (Blog Post)

We went and talked to the Chief of Staff on Monday. He's the commander of all forces on Camp Lejeune. He finally gave us the scoop, and this is straight from the horse's mouth. When they recalled us (January), they needed the forces in Iraq. But once we got here (April) they no longer needed us in Iraq. So from there, it was a constant struggle to figure out what to do with us. Every time they thought they had a place for us, it turned out that unit had no need for us. So we kept on getting jerked around. Well, the Marine Expeditionary Brigade in Afghanistan has been getting hit hard with a lot of combat casualties. For some reason unknown to even the Chief of Staff we talked to, the Joint Chiefs of Staff have set a limit of 10,500 Marines in Afghanistan. For some reason, us IRR (recalled) Marines don't count toward that limit, so when the MEB learned of our existence, they were chomping at the bit to get us out there. They want us out there yesterday, so we will be leaving in less than two weeks. There's only an infinitesimal chance that this won't come true, because this is coming from the highest of levels.


Fucking FINALLY.

I'm sick of this shit. (Blog Post)

So far, we've had, oh, let's see.. five flight dates now?

I was supposed to be in Iraq on Monday, but guess what? THEY SENT THE WRONG PEOPLE. Yes, that's right. Somehow, they've managed to send the wrong group of Marines to Iraq. So now I'm stuck here, with a 99% chance of NOT going, and no car, only one computer (my laptop is no good for gaming!) and very little (civilian)clothing. I don't think I would care so much if 1)they hadn't kept telling us "for sure" dates and 2) I had my fucking car here. I had my brother pick it up last week, because I was supposed to be gone. Now it's in Maryland, and I'm in North Carolina. So I either pay $88 to sit on a bus for 19 hours, or $200 to rent a car one-way to pick my car up.

What I need to do is find a way to make the Marine Corps pay for that shit.
Oh, and I might get sent to Afghanistan instead. When? Fuck if I know.

Saw Transformers 2 last night... what a pile of garbage. (Blog Post)

And holy shit. That was the worst pile of unintelligent garbage I've seen in a long time. 1st movie? I liked it. This one?

WHAT. THE. FUCK!?!

Seriously? Ok, I can appreciate Megan Fox as much as the next guy, but we all know she wouldn't even be an actress if she wasn't smoking hot. But to have her first scene in the movie be a camera approach from the rear of her bent over on a bike airbrushing upside down??? What the hell.
Then there's the REALLY bad jokes. I mean, they're downright juvenile. Dogs humping? Pot brownies? (okay, I chuckled on that one but they took it too far with her tackling people and all that)And that little fucking RC Truck that's inexplicably nice to them the whole time, and ends up humping Fox's leg. Is that really the best they can come up with?
And that fight in the woods where Prime bites the dust? He gets his ass kicked and then decides to pull out the flaming sword of doom(energon ax). The first thing I thought of was Power Rangers. You know what I'm talking about here. Every episode, they would face off against some monster and get their asses handed to them. Then all of a sudden the monster would get all huge, and they would follow suit with their vehicles, and you all wonder "Why the fuck didn't they do that in the first place!?"

Then we have a thousand year old inactive Prime in the form of a stealth bomber. I know they can choose what they want to be and all, but he's been in a robot coma, so how the hell is he in the form of a brand-new bomber? Then he wakes up, and I know they want to show that he's old and all, bu couldn't they have done that with creaking sound effect and rust instead of a fucking metal beard and a fucking cane? I won't even go into how anti-climatic the final battle between Prime and the Fallen was.

I guess what it comes down to is that the movie was made for idiots, and it caters very well to that demographic.

Oh, and the next time I see a jive-talking ghetto SMART CAR (Why the fuck would you want to be a Smart car?) with a fucking gold tooth I'm going on a murderous rampage of every involved.

[edit] Oh, and why wouldn't you just take that shard or Allspark and use it on O.P. instead of HOPING some fucking metallic dust would do the trick? And what would have happened if Shia didn't die? Fucking plot holes.

About damn time (Blog Post)

All the bullshit waiting and being jerked around is over. We finally have a solid flight date of July 31st. Headed off to the sand box where I'll supposedly have an internet connection in my damn room. I guess a lot has changed since I was there five years ago. I don't know how true that really is, though but I guess I'll find out soon enough.
Anyway, You won't be seeing much of me for some time to come.

Take it easy, y'all.

Why buying a Mac is simply fucking rediculous. (Blog Post)

MacBook Pro
2.53GHz Intel Core 2 Duo
4GB 1066MHz DDR3 SDRAM - 2x2GB
250GB Serial ATA Drive @ 5400 rpm
SuperDrive (DVD±R DL/DVD±RW/CD-RW)
MacBook Pro 15-inch Glossy Widescreen Display
Backlit Keyboard (English)
Nvidia GeForce 9400m grapics

$1,700

HP HDx16t

Intel(R) Core(TM)2 Duo Processor P8700 (2.53 GHz, 3 MB L2 Cache, 1066MHz FSB)
4GB DDR2 System Memor
250GB 7200RPM SATA Hard Drive
512MB NVIDIA GeForce 9600M GT
16.0" diagonal High Definition HP BrightView Infinity Display (1366x768)
LightScribe SuperMulti DVD+/-RW with Double Layer Support
Webcam + Fingerprint Reader with HP Imprint Finish (Fluid)

$1,149.

I can get more for a LOT less?! Gee, let me think about this for a minute...

Booze (Blog Post)

[Redacted because drinking and sifting never looks good after.]

Holy shit. I didn't start drinking until ~ 11:30 last night. I had to report in at 8. Thankfully, since there's only a few of us waiting to fly out (since the rest of the battalion is gone) we don't. do. anything. Seriously. We check in at 8. We're told to do a police call (pick up trash in the area) and then we go back at 1300 (1:00) where we're told to come back at 8:00. Seriously, that's the routine we've had for over a month and will have for another month.

So anyway, we got shit-faced and watched movies until about 4 something in the morning, so when formation came around this morning I was most certainly still drunk. Now that it's 1:30 in the workday, I'm finally waking up (didn't have to check in - we were just told to clean our rooms for some Colonel's inspection) I thought I should post more details.

We were supposed to take a civilian flight, but since there's one more battalion of Marines flying out, they decided to stick us with them later. Which is really fine by me - it's one less month in the hot season and one more in the cold season. As as Farhad can tell you, the heat in that region is no fucking joke.

A heartfelt "Thanks" to the USO (Blog Post)

I'm flying home for pre-deployment leave today. I'm headed to Austin, Texas to see my twin who's in the Army. I have to fly from Jacksonville, NC to Charlotte, NC, to Dallas, then to Austin. My first flight out fo Jville was delayed an hour, so I automatically missed my connecting flight. Now instead of landing in Austin at 12:30, I'll be touching down at close to 8:00. Eight fucking hours. That's a seven hour layover in Charlotte. Thankfully there's a USO here. They have a giant LCD tv, three Playstation 2s, A PS3, and an XBOX360. - As well as seven computers, snacks, drinks, muffins and other goodies. Not to menttion that the facility itself is really nice. When I entered the USO, I was expecting some couches, a tv, and granola bars. Certainly nothing this nice.

I would have shot myself out of misery and boredom by now if it hadn't been for this place. Thank you to the men and women who work there, and even more thanks to all the people that have ever donated to the USO. It's an absolutley wonderful organization that does wonders to help us out.

[UPDATE]
Noon thirty rolls around and I wake from my slumber to hear that they're grilling burgers. Of course I ask for one, and holy shit it was delicious.
The whole thing was more than worth the $10 I dropped in the donation box earlier.


P.S. - I'll be in Iraq before the end of the month. Just an update for y'all.

An open letter to my roommate. (Blog Post)

Fuck you. Why can't you be like our other roommate? Your laptop is ALWAYS on and it's ALWAYS playing a sports cast of some sort. And if your laptop is on, so it your tv, which is on ESPN. Do you REALLY need to watch two different sports casts at the same time? Even when your tv is off you still listen to your sportscast on your laptop. Sure, that's not so bad. But why the fuck did you spend $150 on headphones just to never fucking use them? I don't have a problem with you watching tv at 11 at night. I'm still up. I don't even have a problem with you watching it at midnight, because I'm usually still up. But when it's 2 in the fucking morning, it is COMPLETELY unacceptable to turn that fucking thing on when it's clear that your other roommates are trying to sleep. We're both in bed. We're not on our computers.
HAVE SOME FUCKING RESPECT AND SHUT THAT SHIT OFF. It's not even the fact that it's on is so bad. It's that you listen to it as if you lost your fucking hearing aid.

Then there's your showers. I understand that a man has needs. I understand that when you're fat and ugly and you live in the barracks the only way of satisfying those needs is to relieve yourself in the shower. But do you have to do it every single time you take a shower? I don't even know if that's what you do when your in there, but what the fuck else could you POSSIBLY be doing during your 30+ minute showers. Yes, I timed you, because it happens every day. You DO realize that you have two other roommates that like to stay hydrated, right? We don't want to have to wait for 15 minutes to piss because you take longer showers than should be allowed by law.

Oh, and pick up your damn feet. We don't want to hear you drag them in your shower shoes making all that damn noise.

Sincerely,

Your pissed off roommate.


P.S. I'm going to give you about five more minutes to shut that fucking thing off before I throw it out the window. It's 2:45 in the morning.



[Edit]
It was three in the morning and I asked him "You going to bed soon?" to which he replied "nope" WTF!?

Oh, and let it be known that even with the sound down, the light from the tv is still flooding the room. Keep in mind that I live in the barracks, so it's three guys in a 12x12 room.

Fuck you, Tom Cruise. (Blog Post)

And your "really cool" sunglasses that you wear indoors. At a fucking museum.

I'm in D.C. for the weekend and I went to the National Holocaust museum. As I was taking my time and reading the signs and watching the videos, a bunch of museum personnel came up and told us that we had to clear the area. We did, not knowing what the hell was going on. As we were off to the side, I asked if there was a VIP coming through and he said that there was. So we're all off to the side and then enters Sir Douche. With his really cool hairdo wearing sunglasses in the dimly lit exhibit. So then King Bag leaves the area and us lesser citizens are allowed to continue our tour. As I get in the middle of watching the next video, we're herded out into the area that we were previously kicked out of, because Mr. Asshat wants to look through where we were. He then moves on again, and everyone is ready to get out of the area. But no. The one and only exit is blocked and there are easily 50+ people there waiting to get out. Then the pompous asshole walks by, shoots a smug little fucking smile and waves with an air of nonchalance, to which I loudly responded "Don't you wave at me!" Everyone around looked a little shocked that I would yell at a precious celebrity, but as soon as the fucker walked off they resumed talking trash about him and airing their grievances to all that would listen to how bullshit the whole ordeal was. I walked up to the guy blocking us, and asked if he was museum personnel, and he told me that he was, but 1) I've never seen museum personnel wear an ear piece a la Secret Service, 2)He was wearing black when everyone else was wearing red, and he had no badge or name tag. I think the fucker lied to me and he was actually Cruises much needed body guard. A woman made a very good point. She said "We just spent the last three hours learning how bad it is to treat people like they are first or second class citizens, and here they are doing it to us."

Fuckdouche was no where near us, and yet they still wouldn't let us out, so myself and a Vietnam vet berated the man to let the crowd out. He finally backed off and let us out. Then at the very end they had a comment book that I was writing in and no sooner had I finished writing in it, another guy came up and told us to clear out. I never got a chance to go into the museum shop.
I wish I had wanted to, because I would have told the fucker that Tom Cruise can wait, I'm going into the store.


Fuck you, Tom Cruise.

Well, some of the dust has settled (Blog Post)

Well, I've been at Camp Lejeune for two weeks now living in a shitty squad bay wondering where the hell I'll be going and what I'll be doing.

I had figured I'd end up in Afghanistan with a firing artillery battery, because the combat environment is heating up there. But that means I have to TOTALLY relearn my job. Since I've gotten out, the Marine Corps has switched to a totally new howitzer, the M777 that is a world apart from the old M198, the cannon I worked with.

However, the Marine Corps had different things in mind for me.
Come to find out, I will be attached to the Personal Security Detachment of Regimental Combat Team 8. In simple terms, I will be a body guard for some Colonel or General.

From what I hear, it's a really cool assignment. Supposedly I get to pick out all my gun candy and get whatever I want. PEQ-15 laser/inrared sights? Scope? bipod? Whatever I want. I get picked up by the unit tomorrow and should find out a LOT more about my duties and deployment schedule in the upcoming days.


P.S. - Thanks for all the kind words in my last blog post!

Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you (Blog Post)

That I was recalled after all. I'm in Camp Lejeune again, awaiting assignment to a unit that I will deploy with in about three months. The good news? Because they yanked me from my civilian life, I'll be getting paid all kinds of extra money.

Thunder in the Desert 2009 UPDATED with links to Hi-res images (Blog Post)

[EDIT] All images are now links to higher-resolution images.[/EDIT]

45 minutes away from my town of Tempe is Luke Air Force base. Last weekend there was a pretty good air show, though I was only there for a couple of events. They canceled at least one show because of high winds that really sucked. It picked up sand from the massive flat area and blew it into any open skin you had - it was like being sandblasted. I took over 665 photos watching the two events that I was there for - because, you know, the more you take, the better your chances at getting good ones. It's hard to track something flying at 600 miles an hour, you know. Especially with a shitty $250 lens.

Anyway, here they are, if you care:

The Air Force Thunderbirds














... more inside ...

It's 4:40 in the morning.... do you know if YOUR car alarm is going off? [MAJOR UPDATE] (Blog Post)

Well, it's 4:404:55 5:10 5:20 in the fucking morning here and there's a car alarm going off in my apartment complex's parking lot. It started since at least the first time I looked at the clock at 4:40 and has been going off in 30 second intervals.

At first I rejoiced at the intermittent silence - but then it soon started to wear on me. I had dreams of shooting the hood a few times in hopes of hitting the battery. Then I decided that was not such a smart idea. Then I wanted to bust a window down so I could open the hood and unhook the battery. Also not a good idea if the police show up.

So I just called the police. at 5:10. It's now 5:25. When I was down there, I found the offending vehicle, which only pissed me off even more. It's a piece of shit 90-something "pimped" out civic with sun-bleached paint spots all over the car and a smashed-in bumper. To make things worse, the driver's window is rolled down, so it wouldn't take much to open the hood and unhook the battery, but I didn't have tools in my car, and since the police could show up at any second, I's best not be messing around in there.


Did I mention that I have to work at 8:00 this morning?

5:29...
I have thoughts of moving my car (it's parked right next to it) so if someone starts to bash the offending vehicle, they don't mistake it for mine.

5:37...

[UPDATE]

6:10 - YES! The bastard's battery has died! The horn struggles to sip every last watt of power from the tired battery and ultimately fails. What results is best described as a synthesized grinding noise.
about 6:15 rolls around and there comes a loud banging on my door. It's an Officer with the Tempe police department asking me to come down and take a look and see if it's my vehicle. I said that it's not; my alarm is just a intermittent honking noise. The one going off was a British police car-sounding chirping. But I agree to go down there anyway.

As I get down there, I attempt to turn my car's lights on with the remote to show that my car's battery works, as the offending vehicle's battery was dead.
When my my lights don't turn on, I think that my remote's battery is just dying. It's been on the fritz lately. The officer points to my front-right wheel, and says the noise is coming from there. I put my head to it, and sure enough, it was.

So I manually unlock my car door, insert the key and turn it. The noise of a dead batter which I had celebrated not five minutes earlier ceased to be; it instantly turned to embarrassment, shame, self loathing and anger.

If I would have known that my car was even capable of emitting that ear-splitting noise, I would have made some attempt at shutting it off an hour and a half earlier. I wouldn't have woken up three hours early, I wouldn't have a dead battery, I wouldn't have to call a towing service to jump start my car, I would be $65 richer, and I wouldn't feel like an absolute idiot for the next month.

SIFT! Ah-teennnTION! (Blog Post)

I got the school seat I applied for. I leave on January 3rd for two months and I also get the $15,000 bonus.
No deployment for MG.

That is all.


DISMISSED!

And, here it is ladies and gentlemen: (Blog Post)

"Marine,

During October 2008, you attended or were excused from attending an Individual Ready Reserve (IRR) mobilization screening in Kansas City, MO. The purpose of this screening was to determine your eligibility for involuntary recall to active duty in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom. As you may recall, there had been a significant reduction in the Gaining Force Commanders’ (GFC) manpower shortfalls and it was explained that some Marines would receive orders and others would not.

Our records indicate that you were found qualified for involuntary recall and WILL be receiving orders for activation. It is anticipated that your orders will be issued in the upcoming weeks. In the meantime, you are encouraged to begin or continue preparing for your upcoming mobilization.

Let me re-iterate, that you have been found qualified and WILL be receiving involuntary activation orders. If you have not received your copy of orders by 01 January 2009, you need to contact MOBCOM immediately."


Oh Joy!

[[Update]]

I applied for a school seat to get a new MOS with the active reserve. If that happens, then I don't get recalled to anywhere. I join the reserve unit here in town, and the best thing of all is that I get a $15,000 bonus.

So here are my two choices:

Involuntary recall

  • 100% chance that I will be deployed and get shot at
  • Don't get paid at all until deployment
  • No bonus


Join Active reserve

  • (less than)100% chance of deployment
  • Monthly pay (~$300) for weekend drills
  • $15,000 bonus


The downside of the Reserves? I'm qualified to have literally any job in the entire military, but the unit in town here is bulk fuel. LAME.

I find out Monday if I'm approved for the school seat in three weeks. Preliminary word is "yes".


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