He had me @ 33 seconds. brilliant.

Gold!

*promote

Promoting this video back to the front page; last published Thursday, August 25th, 2011 11:11am PDT - promote requested by lavoll.

"I came home one day and my wife said 'I'm seeing someone else.' So I said 'Try rubbing your eyes or something'."

I like the little note explaining the pun (whale vs. wail).

Holy shit, it's that wood-shop teacher from Weird Al's movie!

http://youtu.be/toNsPh-pxgc

I think he's hit on the convenience of externalizing blame. All the perks without that pesky guilt of conscience.

"please break the laws...." that is my favorite bit.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/stage/2005/sep/29/comedy.religion

Apparently one of his god jokes was voted best religious joke ever.

This isn't it, but it's funny:
"I'm not Catholic, but I gave up picking my belly button for lint."

and for the Sift crowd:

"A Mormon told me that they don't drink coffee. I said, "A cup of coffee every day gives you wonderful benefits." He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well, it keeps you from being Mormon ..." "